AP (Buffalo) The Buffalo Braves announced today that NBA Hall of Famer Bob Lanier has joined their coaching staff. Lanier joins Hall of Famer Bob McAdoo on Hall of Famer Jack Ramsey's coaching staff. GM Rebus Rankin had this to say, "Bob is a Buffalo native and brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to our staff." Plus we have the tallest coaching staff in the Fake NBA."
AP (SEATTLE) Sonics head coach Tommy Heinsohn sought out reporters after a draft workout today to respond to reports that Buffalo claims to have the tallest coaching staff in the league.
"Who gives a [dang] about height?" said Heinsohn. "Are you kidding me? Cowens, Cooz, me, and Sikma? With Gary and Shawn in the front office? I don't generally like talking about other teams, but c'mon. Congratulations Buffalo you're huge, now play a little defense. Not even Kenny Mauer could have blown that game for us."
Sonics General Manager Hoyo de Monterrey, upon hearing the news, muttered "****mit, Tommy," and ran into his office, closing the door. He could not be reached for further comment.
However, at that point Sonics VPICOBGP Gary Payton poked his head out of the office and declared, "Doctor Jack better call the ambulance." When pressed for further comment, Payton said "I don't even know who this Doctor Jack is or where he went to med school, but we should send him to Washington to work on the fallout from that Pitino fool. Ball don't lie."