There comes a time in negotiating where you need to take the best deal available. What's "fair" really isn't part of the equation, since "fair" is only defined as what the market will bear.
Unfortunately, the players failed to notice that the opportunity to take the best deal available has already come and gone. And now everyone is going to pay for it.
But why should you blame the players, and not the owners? First of all, let's start with the obvious. The players haven't acted rationally. The players are now going to lose more income from missed games than they can ever hope to regain through bargaining. In fact, they reached that break-even point the moment the first 10 games were cancelled. So what they are doing and the way they are acting simply cannot be explained as the actions of pure, rational, self-interested people. It's obviously not about money for them.
There are two likely explanations for this sort of behavior:
1) You can choose to believe that these players are simply sacrificing huge amounts of income for the benefit of future players, and for the principle of the matter. After all, that's what they're all telling us, right? Yet this would in fact make them some of the most principled people I've ever heard of... have you ever met anyone who would sacrifice millions for the benefit of some kids they don't know who are currently playing ball in highschool? Neither have I. Maybe the players just have superhuman powers of empathy, or are just so principled that they have no problem throwing away millions without a blink. Maybe.
2) Or the much more likely scenario: this is simply what happens when you take a group consisting of the 450 most competitive people in the world and tell them to bargain with someone. It's not just about getting a good deal, it's about winning and losing, like every other game. They just don't want to "lose" the bargaining, and that's why they're fighting tooth and nail despite the fact that they're cutting off their noses to spite their face. It's the reason why Jordan is doing the exact same thing on the other side of the bargaining table. Sure, it might be a little more about the money for him due to his risk exposure on his massive investment, but you really think that JORDAN isn't extremely motivated to "win" the bargaining process? People routinely underestimate the power of subconscious factors as motivation for behavior and decisions. Go ahead and read "Predictably Irrational" by Dan Ariely, "Drive" by Daniel Pink, or pretty much anything by Malcolm Gladwell if you don't believe me.
So yeah, I absolutely think it's fair to blame the players when they're willing to throw a whole season under the bus simply to satisfy their egos. It's a betrayal of fans and the people who work for the league.
But aren't the owners also trying to "win"? Yes, they are. But the simple fact of the matter is that a good third of them are actually AVOIDING losing money by not having a season. That's not irrational. Furthermore, they're acting the way they're acting because they know they have more leverage than the players, and they're in the driver's seat of the negotiations. Again, that's not irrational. They know that they're better equipped to recoup any potential losses they suffer after one cancelled season. Again, not irrational.
The owners are just trying to get the best deal they can, knowing they have the superior bargaining position. Any fool would do the exact same thing as them if they were in that position. The players, however, decided to take it personally, and to hell with anybody who might be hurt along the way. That's why I blame the players.
Other notes:
-I also wouldn't underestimate the impact of the scumbag lawyers suckering the players into thinking that decertifaction is the way it go. As someone about to become a lawyer who's taken both Antitrust and Sports Law classes (basically Antitrust in disguise... wish I had know that before taking it) I can tell you that the NBAPA doesn't have a prayer of winning anything in court based on both the legal principles and case precedent. But the agents will make bank on that process, win or lose.
-What's "fair" and "not fair" doesn't come into the equation in a business negotiation. Rational people will ALWAYS try to get the best deal they can. And the result is "fair" because people on BOTH sides of the table are trying to get what's best for them. The market essentially decides the terms. There's nothing more fair than that. If the players don't like it they can go play in Europe or China.