TEHRAN-AP -- In a stunning move that commissioner whleehi calls "a great step forward for international NBA Basketball," the Los Angeles Lakers are no more, after owners Robb and cordobes uprooted the franchise and moved to Tehran, Iran, all in the last fifteen minutes after finding out which team they owned.
In a stadium with two basketball teams, the owners realised that they could no coexist with the more popular and successful Clippers. After asking the Clippers organization nicely if they would leave, the Clippers reportedly "hemmed and hawed." The owners then asked the city of Los Angeles to begin funding a new stadium immediately, in order to generate revenue for LA's litte brother Laker squad.
In a press release, owner Robb gave the following quote: "During the process of acquiring the franchise, we were always concerned with keeping the team in L.A., but unfortunately, referendums for a new stadium were shot down by the voting public, and honestly, we felt we weren't wanted there anymore. We felt as if our fans abandoned us. What kind of basketball fans would do this to such a beloved team? I honestly thought Lakers fans cared more than to allow this."
When reached for comment for the reason to move to Tehran, Robb said, "As two international participants to Celticsblog, we feel like we can bring a great product to the overseas NBA fans... We're planning on having one of the best home court advantage in the NBA, due to the 20+ hour flight time that teams will have to face. These are aspects that can't be ignored when two owners like cordobes and I only care about winning."
Surprisingly, last week the ownership group put into motion the building of an 850 arsani stadium, that will seat 60,000 specatators and provide first class service to the numerous Iranian basketball fans, all aimed at keeping the qiran in the pockets of the fans. Some Los Angelinos have claimed that the team planned on moving all along, and point to the geographic centrality of Iran between Portugal and South Korea as proof, but the owners deny this and say that their negotiations to acquire the team did not involve discussions on whether to place the team in the mountain region of Afghanistan, wartorn Baghdad, or the heart of an active volcano, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
In regards to the volcano move, owner cordobes was quoted as saying, "Unfortunately, the logistics of having a visiting team travel to the heart of a volcano didn't work out. In addition, preliminary tests of throwing all of the championship banners, retired Los Angeles Lakers numbers, 10,000 copies of Lew Alcindor's Giant Steps, and Kurt Rambis into the piping hot lava proved that it is just not a viable place to generate revenue."
Details on the move will follow, but after being awarded the number one overall pick, the team has said that they are willing to move the pick to acquire multiple picks earlier than their 60th overall selection, but are very content to make this selection, and begin a new era of Persian Basketball.
Topic: 30 team CelticsBlog draft, year two (Read 257541 times)