The Wallingford Social Club"An experiment in boorish taste"
I had no intention of stopping at the WSC, but I needed to watch the Steelers play and apparently only ONE bar in this whole GODDAAMN CITY has televisions these days. It's outside my realm of normal destinations, but worth a look.
I immediately had my reservations, as the bouncer, while well dressed enough, stood amongst a pile of beers that were growing warm and a discarded pile of ladies' undergarments. He politely waved me inside while another reverent patron headed outdoors to bring the clean shaved man a brew and a shot.
I walked inside a pretty large complex to find a stocked bar, stage, casual piano, and about a million televisions showing everything from the NFL to Thai thumb wrestling. I sauntered up to the bar where a friendly voice boomed towards me:
HEY, I'M JI-
JIM
The jolly white giant ran down the tap list, which ran the gamut from cheap to pricey, and settled on a Yuengling, a gameday classic. Jim, my bar-monster, accidentally smashed three glasses in his ham-sized hands before sliding a beer my way.
THERE'S A TEAM CALLED THE BREWERS, I WONDER IF THEIR PRESENCE IS BASED ON THE ACTUAL BREWING PROCESS OF 18TH CENTURY GERMAN IMMIGRANTS
I didn't know what that meant, so I politely smiled in return. I ordered some buffalo wings and watched the Steelers' mercy-killing of the Browns, thereby reaffirming my existence as a lifelong Western Pennsylvanian. In the background, a dog played piano while accompanying a frog on vocals, lamenting the state of women in our lives. A mass of appreciative drinkers nodded in approval. It looked something like this:
A group of "bros" rolled up next to me and ordered a round of Jagerbombs, enticing me to peruse the rest of the drink menu. I ordered an old fashioned and watched in awe as Jim smashed together the ingredients of the best drink I've ever had like an alcoholic Raymond Babbitt.
AW SHUCKS, MISTER, OLD FASHIONEDS WEREN'T NOTHING A COUNTRY BOY CAN'T DO
Again, I had no idea what that meant, so I smiled politely and took another sip.
Trouble reared its head later, as a horde of escaped gorillas from a neighboring Cirque du Soleil show broke free, trapping a family of seven in their mini-van a block away. Now, I finally understood the reverie for the bouncer.
Doorman Sal, thinking on his feet, executed a precise strike on the lead silverback, eliminating the group's leader. He used tactical precision to keep the other threats at bay, removing all seven family members from danger and failing to leave anyone behind. Hell, at one point two gorillas were escaping with a small child. Sal choked one of them out as the other fled, retrieving the hostage and eliminating a high-value target in one swoop.
It suddenly became very clear to me that there were no problems with unruly guests at this bar. Ever. I made sure to add another beer to Sal's queue, and handed him my underpants as a token of respect, much like the ladies before me.
As the night wore down, an older man who slightly resembled Eddie Money played a set on stage while certain TVs showed old reruns of the Adventures of Pete & Pete. An appreciative crowd went nuts for "Take Me Home Tonight," and I have no idea if their admiration was ironic or otherwise. Someone told me that the Rolling Stones played here too, but I'm pretty sure that was bullsh*t.
All in all, a solid experience. Lots of sports, good beers for drinking, best wings in town, and a friendly staff composed of Paul Bunyan and G.I. Joe. I'm not sure what the puppets were all about, though.
****
The Wallingford Social ClubBeers (Mainstream):Moosehead
Yuengling
Leinenkugel's Seasonals (Apple Spice!)
Beers (Craft):Unibroue's La Fin du Monde
MBC's Flaming Damsel
Three Floyd's Gumballhead
Drinks:Jack and Coke
Old Fashioneds
Jager Bombs
Food: Buffalo Wings
Staff: JIM THOME
Staff Sgt. Sal Giunta
Entertainment:The Muppets
The Rolling Stones
Eddie Money
Activity:All the best television, sports, and classic reruns in the world.
Topic: Create Your Own Pub Experience: Draft Thread (Read 587305 times)