That's it. It's over. Paul Pierce survived multiple stab wounds, but that cigar is going to end his career. It's over. We'll never win again. Trade them all now for someone who drinks smoothies and eats granola bars, because they are done.
Also, any children who witnessed these "people" (and I use that word QUITE liberally in this sense!) need to be educated... no, rather REeducated as to how to take care of themselves.
I propose we start several centers of reeducation for these poor, hopeless children. Of course, we will need to wash all memories from their brains of this incident. And to prevent them from ever being tainted again, I am also proposing a bold new device I call the "sand helmet". Essentially, by forcing their heads into sandboxes we can make sure they never view such evil again.
Back to the adults.
Since they are clearly too old to be properly reeducated and their craniums too large to allow a proper sand treatment, we must ship them to another state/country/gulag that can properly handle them. We will need to purge all images of them smoking. But everyone will know they are having a victory parade... so let us, through some creative photoshopping, show all of them puffing on carrots. Kids hate carrots, but love athletes. Problem solved.
