Hypothetically, If We Signed Dwight Howard To Minimum, Would You Be Upset?

[Moranis]

Here’s how I see Dwight Howard.

He’s the hot girl from high school. She’s kind of dumb and annoying, but she’s incredibly hot, so nobody cares.  Her boyfriend puts up with all the negatives, until she tries to “trade up”, cheating on her boyfriend in an epic breakup.

In college, same thing. Still hot, still cheats.

At 25, she’s looking like she spent too much time tanning and smoking cigarettes. Still hot, but a bit “rode hard and put away wet”. Her personality still sucks, and she still cheats.

At 30, she’s got 4 kids with fathers unknown. She’s a regular at the local bar, where she’s popular with 50 year old bar flys.

Now, she’s 35. Recently she got herself back in shape, she got a makeover. She says she’s sick of losers, she’s interested in settling down.

So, what do you think? You’re Mike Brady, with three boys at home. Do you invite her in?

If yes, you want D12.

On a veteran minimum deal that you can easily just move on from, you have to take the chance that maybe she has finally grown up. 

[slamtheking]

Here’s how I see Dwight Howard.

He’s the hot girl from high school. She’s kind of dumb and annoying, but she’s incredibly hot, so nobody cares.  Her boyfriend puts up with all the negatives, until she tries to “trade up”, cheating on her boyfriend in an epic breakup.

In college, same thing. Still hot, still cheats.

At 25, she’s looking like she spent too much time tanning and smoking cigarettes. Still hot, but a bit “rode hard and put away wet”. Her personality still sucks, and she still cheats.

At 30, she’s got 4 kids with fathers unknown. She’s a regular at the local bar, where she’s popular with 50 year old bar flys.

Now, she’s 35. Recently she got herself back in shape, she got a makeover. She says she’s sick of losers, she’s interested in settling down.

So, what do you think? You’re Mike Brady, with three boys at home. Do you invite her in?

If yes, you want D12.

depends if you're bringing her in to be Mrs Brady or Alice.  Never knew who or what Alice was hiding in that back room

DH seems more like a Carol --> fiddles around the house amusing herself while Alice busts her butt doing housework, cooking, playing pseudo-mom to Brady-male spawn before Carol shows up.  Poor Alice, being relegated to the butt of jokes for handling Sam the Butcher's meats

[Roy H.]

Here’s how I see Dwight Howard.

He’s the hot girl from high school. She’s kind of dumb and annoying, but she’s incredibly hot, so nobody cares.  Her boyfriend puts up with all the negatives, until she tries to “trade up”, cheating on her boyfriend in an epic breakup.

In college, same thing. Still hot, still cheats.

At 25, she’s looking like she spent too much time tanning and smoking cigarettes. Still hot, but a bit “rode hard and put away wet”. Her personality still sucks, and she still cheats.

At 30, she’s got 4 kids with fathers unknown. She’s a regular at the local bar, where she’s popular with 50 year old bar flys.

Now, she’s 35. Recently she got herself back in shape, she got a makeover. She says she’s sick of losers, she’s interested in settling down.

So, what do you think? You’re Mike Brady, with three boys at home. Do you invite her in?

If yes, you want D12.

On a veteran minimum deal that you can easily just move on from, you have to take the chance that maybe she has finally grown up.

When there’s a less physically attractive alternative who has much more in common with your world view and has close to perfect qualities as a mom?

I don’t want my impressionable sons (Jayson, Jaylen and Robert) around someone like that.

@slam, the Celtics are an Alice organization, embodied by Al(ice) Horford.

[Yoki_IsTheName]

Here’s how I see Dwight Howard.

He’s the hot girl from high school. She’s kind of dumb and annoying, but she’s incredibly hot, so nobody cares.  Her boyfriend puts up with all the negatives, until she tries to “trade up”, cheating on her boyfriend in an epic breakup.

In college, same thing. Still hot, still cheats.

At 25, she’s looking like she spent too much time tanning and smoking cigarettes. Still hot, but a bit “rode hard and put away wet”. Her personality still sucks, and she still cheats.

At 30, she’s got 4 kids with fathers unknown. She’s a regular at the local bar, where she’s popular with 50 year old bar flys.

Now, she’s 35. Recently she got herself back in shape, she got a makeover. She says she’s sick of losers, she’s interested in settling down.

So, what do you think? You’re Mike Brady, with three boys at home. Do you invite her in?

If yes, you want D12.

Yes, because she will be on a short leash (vet. minimum). Im not committing to her long term, atleast not yet. Not until I see her actually fully reformed. But until then, I wouldn't mind hanging out with a SMOKING HOT girl.

If she reverted into the crazy chick that we know, then I'll end the connection. Seems pretty easy, seeming as I have not invested a lit of time on it. But if she turns out good and refomed, my god. Not only will the nights be so much better (because im doing it with a hot woman now), but who knows, maybe the relationship becomes amenable enough, we end up having a beautiful kid we continue on.

And we'll name the kid 18.

[Androslav]

All of the D12 criticism stands, no arguments against.

But let's not forget this.

- Dwight - the best NBA center since 2004-2005. (Basically since Shaq and Duncan)
- Orlando made no playoffs since he left (2012.)
- Orlando made the finals with him leading the way. As the famous Shaq with Penny duo, Dwight has less half and wasn't swept. BTW, Shaq was swept out of the playoffs his first 6/7 times.
- Dwight featured last Lakers playoff team (Spurs sweep)
- 2005-2010 Dwight was a simply amazing defender. Supermans body, great vertical, his size , wing-like lateral quickness, the desire to grind. That D12 would be certainly be a DPOY in this, 2017/18 season.
- He was like a lovable and approachable giant at the height of his powers.
- Phoenix - team that drafted Ayton recently at no 1, would be really happy to draft a player like Dwight instead. His production was undeniable.

With all that said - I'd take a hard pass.

[Roy H.]

Here’s how I see Dwight Howard.

He’s the hot girl from high school. She’s kind of dumb and annoying, but she’s incredibly hot, so nobody cares.  Her boyfriend puts up with all the negatives, until she tries to “trade up”, cheating on her boyfriend in an epic breakup.

In college, same thing. Still hot, still cheats.

At 25, she’s looking like she spent too much time tanning and smoking cigarettes. Still hot, but a bit “rode hard and put away wet”. Her personality still sucks, and she still cheats.

At 30, she’s got 4 kids with fathers unknown. She’s a regular at the local bar, where she’s popular with 50 year old bar flys.

Now, she’s 35. Recently she got herself back in shape, she got a makeover. She says she’s sick of losers, she’s interested in settling down.

So, what do you think? You’re Mike Brady, with three boys at home. Do you invite her in?

If yes, you want D12.

Yes, because she will be on a short leash (vet. minimum). Im not committing to her long term, atleast not yet. Not until I see her actually fully reformed. But until then, I wouldn't mind hanging out with a SMOKING HOT girl.

If she reverted into the crazy chick that we know, then I'll end the connection. Seems pretty easy, seeming as I have not invested a lit of time on it. But if she turns out good and refomed, my god. Not only will the nights be so much better (because im doing it with a hot woman now), but who knows, maybe the relationship becomes amenable enough, we end up having a beautiful kid we continue on.

And we'll name the kid 18.

Old dogs vs. new tricks, leopards vs. changing spots, “if the milk’s sour in the morning it will be sour in the afternoon”, fool me twice shame on me, etc., etc.

[Androslav]

Here’s how I see Dwight Howard.

He’s the hot girl from high school. She’s kind of dumb and annoying, but she’s incredibly hot, so nobody cares.  Her boyfriend puts up with all the negatives, until she tries to “trade up”, cheating on her boyfriend in an epic breakup.

In college, same thing. Still hot, still cheats.

At 25, she’s looking like she spent too much time tanning and smoking cigarettes. Still hot, but a bit “rode hard and put away wet”. Her personality still sucks, and she still cheats.

At 30, she’s got 4 kids with fathers unknown. She’s a regular at the local bar, where she’s popular with 50 year old bar flys.

Now, she’s 35. Recently she got herself back in shape, she got a makeover. She says she’s sick of losers, she’s interested in settling down.

So, what do you think? You’re Mike Brady, with three boys at home. Do you invite her in?

If yes, you want D12.

You really invested yourself personally to describe how much you don't want him on Celtics.
It was funny and true.
Definition of a TP.

[slamtheking]

Here’s how I see Dwight Howard.

He’s the hot girl from high school. She’s kind of dumb and annoying, but she’s incredibly hot, so nobody cares.  Her boyfriend puts up with all the negatives, until she tries to “trade up”, cheating on her boyfriend in an epic breakup.

In college, same thing. Still hot, still cheats.

At 25, she’s looking like she spent too much time tanning and smoking cigarettes. Still hot, but a bit “rode hard and put away wet”. Her personality still sucks, and she still cheats.

At 30, she’s got 4 kids with fathers unknown. She’s a regular at the local bar, where she’s popular with 50 year old bar flys.

Now, she’s 35. Recently she got herself back in shape, she got a makeover. She says she’s sick of losers, she’s interested in settling down.

So, what do you think? You’re Mike Brady, with three boys at home. Do you invite her in?

If yes, you want D12.

On a veteran minimum deal that you can easily just move on from, you have to take the chance that maybe she has finally grown up.

When there’s a less physically attractive alternative who has much more in common with your world view and has close to perfect qualities as a mom?

I don’t want my impressionable sons (Jayson, Jaylen and Robert) around someone like that.

@slam, the Celtics are an Alice organization, embodied by Al(ice) Horford.

agreed Roy.  TP for giving me a laugh this morning.

[Big333223]

Here’s how I see Dwight Howard.

He’s the hot girl from high school. She’s kind of dumb and annoying, but she’s incredibly hot, so nobody cares.  Her boyfriend puts up with all the negatives, until she tries to “trade up”, cheating on her boyfriend in an epic breakup.

In college, same thing. Still hot, still cheats.

At 25, she’s looking like she spent too much time tanning and smoking cigarettes. Still hot, but a bit “rode hard and put away wet”. Her personality still sucks, and she still cheats.

At 30, she’s got 4 kids with fathers unknown. She’s a regular at the local bar, where she’s popular with 50 year old bar flys.

Now, she’s 35. Recently she got herself back in shape, she got a makeover. She says she’s sick of losers, she’s interested in settling down.

So, what do you think? You’re Mike Brady, with three boys at home. Do you invite her in?

If yes, you want D12.

Yes, because she will be on a short leash (vet. minimum). Im not committing to her long term, atleast not yet. Not until I see her actually fully reformed. But until then, I wouldn't mind hanging out with a SMOKING HOT girl.

If she reverted into the crazy chick that we know, then I'll end the connection. Seems pretty easy, seeming as I have not invested a lit of time on it. But if she turns out good and refomed, my god. Not only will the nights be so much better (because im doing it with a hot woman now), but who knows, maybe the relationship becomes amenable enough, we end up having a beautiful kid we continue on.

And we'll name the kid 18.

Old dogs vs. new tricks, leopards vs. changing spots, “if the milk’s sour in the morning it will be sour in the afternoon”, fool me twice shame on me, etc., etc.

I didn't fully understand the analogy at first but I think I do now. You're saying, are you going to start a relationship with a serial cheater and liar just because they got a makeover say they won't cheat again?

Pass.

[Roy H.]

Here’s how I see Dwight Howard.

He’s the hot girl from high school. She’s kind of dumb and annoying, but she’s incredibly hot, so nobody cares.  Her boyfriend puts up with all the negatives, until she tries to “trade up”, cheating on her boyfriend in an epic breakup.

In college, same thing. Still hot, still cheats.

At 25, she’s looking like she spent too much time tanning and smoking cigarettes. Still hot, but a bit “rode hard and put away wet”. Her personality still sucks, and she still cheats.

At 30, she’s got 4 kids with fathers unknown. She’s a regular at the local bar, where she’s popular with 50 year old bar flys.

Now, she’s 35. Recently she got herself back in shape, she got a makeover. She says she’s sick of losers, she’s interested in settling down.

So, what do you think? You’re Mike Brady, with three boys at home. Do you invite her in?

If yes, you want D12.

Yes, because she will be on a short leash (vet. minimum). Im not committing to her long term, atleast not yet. Not until I see her actually fully reformed. But until then, I wouldn't mind hanging out with a SMOKING HOT girl.

If she reverted into the crazy chick that we know, then I'll end the connection. Seems pretty easy, seeming as I have not invested a lit of time on it. But if she turns out good and refomed, my god. Not only will the nights be so much better (because im doing it with a hot woman now), but who knows, maybe the relationship becomes amenable enough, we end up having a beautiful kid we continue on.

And we'll name the kid 18.

Old dogs vs. new tricks, leopards vs. changing spots, “if the milk’s sour in the morning it will be sour in the afternoon”, fool me twice shame on me, etc., etc.

I didn't fully understand the analogy at first but I think I do now. You're saying, are you going to start a relationship with a serial cheater and liar just because they got a makeover say they won't cheat again?

Pass.

Exactly.

[Donoghus]

Hard pass.    Guy has always seemed to be a scumbag.

You already have the core in place and, by all accounts, seems like a well-structured locker room.  Why even risk bringing in this known malcontent?  On the 10% chance that he might buy into things and be a good guy?

Doesn't seem worth it to me.   This team is already built & looking like a Finals team next year (health permitting).  You don't need Dwight Howard.  If the Celtics don't make it all the way in '18-19, I'll find it far-fetched that the reason was because they passed on a past his prime Dwight Howard.

[CF033]

I'd rather not, but I wouldn't be angry if they did. Although it would be nice to have more guys who can stop the Andre Drummonds of the world from getting crazy amounts of rebounds against us. Hopefully Robert Williams is a step in that direction.

[Birdman]

I say he wants a ring that he will do whatever Stevens and Ainge tell him to do...different culture in Boston locker room than other locker rooms that he played for

[tazzmaniac]

If Howard wants a ring and is willing to sign for the minimum, why wouldn't he just sign with GSW? 

[Roy H.]

If Howard wants a ring and is willing to sign for the minimum, why wouldn't he just sign with GSW?

Because Draymond Green would break Howard's jaw within 10 days?