1. Baynes was absolutely better than Theis the first half of the season. After that, his stamina limits became clear, and Theis made himself not useless, hence things evened out. They're largely a wash right now, but to me having a rested Baynes is as important as having Theis, if not more.
By what metric? You seem to be using the eyeball test and citing advanced analytics as useless, which seems fairly arrogant given the fact that you aren't even a basketball expert. Even basketball experts use personal biases to give incorrect rankings. Just look at ESPN's NBARank every year.
2. I'd use any metric. Just have to understand its limitations. In the particular case of boxscore metrics, you have to realize that you're comparing points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks, etc. that have been minced through some sort of fancy formula. Unsurprisingly, in the VORP that you presented is largely similar for two players that have, on average, largely similar measurable stats. And given that the theoretical "replacement" has a constant value of -2, VORP ends up by definition a function only of player stats.
Still haven't cited a metric that does a better job at comparing 2 players' production in a given season than VORP. You're the one that stated that it is a useless metric. Defend that position. Find a metric that shows that Baynes has played better than Theis that doesn't just rely on your personal opinion.
3. I'm not upset. I just think everyone around here would rather have Kevin Durant or Stephen Curry over Andre Drummond. But perhaps I'm wrong.
Have? In what sense? In general on their roster? Sure, so would I, due to historical data for expected future value. However, you can't use a metric that is directly weighted by minutes played to compare two players who played a delta of 14 games if your argument is that the expected value of 1 minute of Steph Curry is greater than the expected value of 1 minute of Drummond. I have no doubt that had Curry played the same number of games, that he'd be ranked higher. But, we don't have to doubt... it's right there. VORP = BPM * % of minutes played. BPM shows that Curry performed better per minute. However, I hope we can agree that there is a chance that Andre Drummond could play 1 single season better than Steph Curry. Advanced analytics would show that whereas a subjective test probably wouldn't.