Is my wife overreacting?

[JSD]

I don't see "Happy Father's Day" as remotely flirtatious.

I don't either. Friends, even single, texted my wife "Happy Mother's day" and wrote on her facebook wall and vice verse on Father's day. Not a [care] was given.

[Bankshot]

I think so.

Is this the very first notion that she's ever given you?

she will text sometimes but only when she needs help with carpool for her son or something like that, strictly business.

If she is friends of you and your wife, why is she only texting you?  That's the problem right there.  Tell her from now on if she needs anything to call your wife.  Your wife will appreciate that and feel a lot better about the situation.

[CelticG1]

I don't see "Happy Father's Day" as remotely flirtatious.

I don't either. Friends, even single, texted my wife "Happy Mother's day" and wrote on her facebook wall and vice verse on Father's day. Not a [care] was given.

Doesn't really sound like this lady is a friend just a single lady in the neighborhood.

[fairweatherfan]

I think so.

Is this the very first notion that she's ever given you?

she will text sometimes but only when she needs help with carpool for her son or something like that, strictly business.

If she is friends of you and your wife, why is she only texting you?  That's the problem right there.

Yeah, I think there might be a deeper issue there, where his wife has been leery of this woman around the OP for awhile. 

It's overreacting for sure because the actual behavior in a vacuum seems totally innocent and (shockingly) she's kinda taking it out on him for something he's not playing any part in, but it's definitely a good idea to talk it through because there's probably more going on there.

[LooseCannon]

Is your wife a woman?

Follow-up question: Is the other woman more attractive than your wife?

[csfansince60s]

I agree with others who have said that women perceive things differently from men, particularly regarding relationships and other women (you know, the Mars/Venus thing.)

That being said, women know that a quick way for a man to get  into another woman's heart is through her kids (showing care for them in any way, nurturing them, etc.). This "feeling" is pretty primal, based on sociological constructs created by our (evolutionary) biology that bestows advantages on this type of "behavior".

Your wife may be perceiving that this other woman is giving you the "status" of a father figure in her child's life and this is threatening to her on a very base level, rational or not.

Question: Since both of you drive her kid around or interact with her kid (i think that's what you said or implied), did she send your wife a text saying "Happy Mother's Day" last month? Just askin' as more of a rhetorical question.

[BleedGreen1989]

Are you a father?  If so, yeah, she's definitely overreacting.  Maybe even if you're not.

Sounds like she's threatened that this single woman is contacting you in a private-ish way.  Not that uncommon, but it's possible there's a deeper issue there too.  Maybe she thinks the woman's been flirtatious at other times (even if you didn't notice).  Women tend to pick up on subtle stuff, but often that stuff is so subtle that it doesn't actually exist.  Probably worth talking over one way or the other.

Couldn't of said it better.

[slamtheking]

this post brings back a lot of bad memories of what's happened in my marriage.  I can only hope that this is an isolated incident and that you can get through this with no further issues/hard feelings. 

All I can say from firsthand experience is that if you can't get this sorted out in a positive way, is that it doesn't get better if left alone and it can lead down a slippery slope of worse behavior/suspicions/accusations being leveled when you've done nothing but will be put in a position of choosing between your spouse or your friends/family. 

[Celtics18]

I'm not endorsing any products here, but I think this is kind of funny and appropriate to the topic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obC-o1UXkyg

[thirstyboots18]

wow, apc.  I suggest you sit down with your wife and try to figure out where this all came from. (We usually go out for dinner...that way we can't get into a shouting match or storm away from the table.  ) Perhaps something similar happened to a friend (with bad results and ulterior motives involved), so she is hypersensitive to  and blowing it up out of proportion.  Reassure her of your feelings for her.  Tell her that you are being honest with and trust her, and you expect her to be honest with and trust you.

I hope everything works out.  Ignoring things seldom works either.  If my husband and I were suspicious of every friend of the opposite gender, I am afraid we wouldn't have lasted a week....and we have lasted 45 years (with maybe just a few a few bumps and bruises, lol).  And THAT is my "Dear Abby" advice for today.

[heyvik]

Of course the obvious - You can't spell overreacting WITHOUT - OVARY.....

just kidding...she's overreacting. I think that you may need to reassure her, but generally your wife is overreacting.

[feckless]

If you are a father of 3 you are a father and it is your day...Happy Father's day is an appropriate wish from anyone to you.

As to the single Mom's kids wish to you my wife is a teacher and regularly mentions how difficult Mother's and Father's Day and other events or assignments can  be for kids whose parent is absent.  I can picture the single mom suggesting you as a real father!

Just reread and if the Happy Father's day is from the mom not from her kids it is weird..but not your fault.

[SHAQATTACK]

Hello guys, i need some advise on this issue between my wife and i...

there is a divorced girl with a child who is part of community\neighborhood, my wife and i are friends with her but nothing too close, we had her and her son over for a few meals and help her out with carpool every now and than.

now, for some reason this girls send me a text on fathers day: "happy father day", that's it.
my wife it totally freaking out and she thinks is completely inappropriate for her to do so.

I think she is overreacting.
and i will add that i am 100% loyal to my wife, have been and will be.

what do you guys think?

maybe ask her out?

[feckless]

Hello guys, i need some advise on this issue between my wife and i...

there is a divorced girl with a child who is part of community\neighborhood, my wife and i are friends with her but nothing too close, we had her and her son over for a few meals and help her out with carpool every now and than.

now, for some reason this girls send me a text on fathers day: "happy father day", that's it.
my wife it totally freaking out and she thinks is completely inappropriate for her to do so.

I think she is overreacting.
and i will add that i am 100% loyal to my wife, have been and will be.

what do you guys think?

maybe ask her out?

    nice guy SHAQATTACK!

[CelticG1]

I'd be kind of weirded out if a single guy in my neighborhood who I didn't know that well texted my wife happy mothers day (if we had kids).

I mean I wouldn't do anything crazy but I wouldn't be especially fond of the guy. And I'm not even a jealous type. I'd probably just think the guy is weird.

Then maybe I'd see him in a Celtics shirt drinking a beer and I'd befriend him immediately