Is my wife overreacting?

[Ogaju]

I don't get this 'if he has no kids then there is no problem' Why should a Happy Fathers Day greeting from anyone be a problem.

Will it be a problem if she text him Happy July 4th in a couple of weeks?

I don't get the significance of the Father's Day greeting. What am I missing?

[NocturnalRebel]

I don't get this 'if he has no kids then there is no problem' Why should a Happy Fathers Day greeting from anyone be a problem.

Will it be a problem if she text him Happy July 4th in a couple of weeks?

I don't get the significance of the Father's Day greeting. What am I missing?

You're missing that this is a problem for his wife because this other woman is single.

[Ogaju]

I don't get this 'if he has no kids then there is no problem' Why should a Happy Fathers Day greeting from anyone be a problem.

Will it be a problem if she text him Happy July 4th in a couple of weeks?

I don't get the significance of the Father's Day greeting. What am I missing?

You're missing that this is a problem for his wife because this other woman is single.

but you make a distinction on whether they have a child, I don't get that?

So the wife has a problem with her husband been greeted by a single woman. That does not bode well for their marriage now, does it?

[bfrombleacher]

I don't get this 'if he has no kids then there is no problem' Why should a Happy Fathers Day greeting from anyone be a problem.

Will it be a problem if she text him Happy July 4th in a couple of weeks?

I don't get the significance of the Father's Day greeting. What am I missing?

You're missing that this is a problem for his wife because this other woman is single.

but you make a distinction on whether they have a child, I don't get that?

So the wife has a problem with her husband been greeted by a single woman. That does not bode well for their marriage now, does it?

Well, she gives a [dang]. Some would say this is a good thing.

If he has no kids, maybe the thought of the single lady calling him daddy is bugging her.

But then, as I've said, either way the single lady might just be seeing him as a father figure.

[PaulPierce34G]

I'd say it is an overreaction.  If you have children of your own, I think it was just a nice gesture on your neighbor's part.  I am a guy, so maybe it is slightly different, but I still sent my best friend a happy father's day text the other day, just to show some respect to him, seeing as he is a father.  I wouldn't worry too much about it.  It'll blow over.  Obviously if the single woman tries to really make a more personal advance over time, then there's an issue.  But, honestly, this is nothing in my opinion...just someone trying to be nice and I wouldn't let it bother me much. Your wife will cool down in a little bit.

That's my .02 cents.

EDIT: I didn't read the entire thread...Just the OP.  If you have kids, I don't see an issue.  If you don't, well,  maybe it is slightly odd to receive the gesture, but still, perhaps it is nothing.

[NocturnalRebel]

I don't get this 'if he has no kids then there is no problem' Why should a Happy Fathers Day greeting from anyone be a problem.

Will it be a problem if she text him Happy July 4th in a couple of weeks?

I don't get the significance of the Father's Day greeting. What am I missing?

You're missing that this is a problem for his wife because this other woman is single.

but you make a distinction on whether they have a child, I don't get that?

So the wife has a problem with her husband been greeted by a single woman. That does not bode well for their marriage now, does it?

Cut it out. Tha OP let it be known that tha loyalty to his wife is there and will stay there. 

there is a divorced girl with a child who is part of community\neighborhood, my wife and i are friends with her but nothing too close, we had her and her son over for a few meals and help her out with carpool every now and than.

.

It's clear these 3 are friends. But regardless of that, married women will never fully trust a single woman around their husband. Which is why (in my previous post) I suggested that all connects in this friendship only run through his wife and this other woman.

Tha OP knows where he stands with his wife so he'll be fine and his marriage will be fine. But tha fact this single woman texted his phone (without his wife's acknowledgment until he mentioned it, I assume) can be an issue for his wife. And that's with any woman.

Tha OP never said if he had kids but tha fact this woman acknowledged him on Fathers Day anyway, I'll assume he does. If he doesn't, his wife "totally freaking out" is an overreaction.

[apc]

TPs to all of you, i appreciate the responses.
to answer some questions:
yes i am a father, i got 3 kids.
and by overreacting i mean, she demands i will tell the woman to stop texting me, which i think will make things weird. and she keep bringing this topic up daily and check my phone...
also she started a similer topic on some girly blog and needles to say all the woman on that blog agreed with her

[JSD]

Didn't read, but yes. She is overreacting.

[Rondo2287]

I personally hate this kinda stuff and it happens to most guys I think. 

"Why did that girl comment on your facebook post?"

"Why is she texting you?

Its frustrating when you do nothing to initiate a conversation and then get in the doghouse for something somebody else does. 

So yes I think its an over reaction and I wouldnt respond to her asking her to stop texting you, I just wouldnt respond at all.

[Roy H.]

Wives overreact.  That's what they do.  (Husbands too, a lot of times).

If you make this a big deal by arguing too much, it's going to become a bigger issue, though.  Whatever insecurities your wife might have will be made worse by you "taking sides" with the other woman.

I think it's best to just try to ignore it, and reassure your wife.

EDIT:  Just saw your post above.  I don't agree with cutting off all contact.  It sounds like that would just hurt this woman's kid.

Also, I don't love the idea of your wife going through your texts.  I know you've got nothing to hide, but on principle, it's a bad sign.  Insecurity is a natural thing, but when it starts reaching a certain level and is impacting other peoples' lives, it's fair to call it "overreacting". 

I think you probably need to have a conversation about her jealousy, and I do think it's important to reassure her that you're the only one for her. 

I'm lucky.  My wife is only insecure of the blog. 

EDIT 2:  wdleehi's suggestion below is a good one.  If you guys still do the carpooling, but let your wife handle the contact, it's a win-win.

[wdleehi]

Yes.


Is it worth arguing with her over?  Not after the 1st 5 minutes. 


Best bet, do what she asks.  Let the other lady that all text message requests help must go through the help desk (your wife's phone)

[Slugger]

TPs to all of you, i appreciate the responses.
to answer some questions:
yes i am a father, i got 3 kids.
and by overreacting i mean, she demands i will tell the woman to stop texting me, which i think will make things weird. and she keep bringing this topic up daily and check my phone...
also she started a similer topic on some girly blog and needles to say all the woman on that blog agreed with her

Perhaps being a divorcee (recent), she has an appreciation of what it means for kids to share their fathers day with the family as a whole. 

There was probably a touch of envy in that text knowing that you will be celecbrating the day with your wife and kids.

Her kids might not see their father, so she could be the default father.  Just a friendly happy fathers day greeting. 

Darn straight tell your wife she is over reacting though.  Cant let her think that behaviour is acceptable.

[JSD]

apc, are you a father? If not, what is she insinuating by texting you that? I don't understand.

[Roy H.]

I don't see "Happy Father's Day" as remotely flirtatious. 

[Moranis]

TPs to all of you, i appreciate the responses.
to answer some questions:
yes i am a father, i got 3 kids.
and by overreacting i mean, she demands i will tell the woman to stop texting me, which i think will make things weird. and she keep bringing this topic up daily and check my phone...
also she started a similer topic on some girly blog and needles to say all the woman on that blog agreed with her

If you wife is checking your phone daily you have a lot bigger problems then an innocent text from your neighbor.