AP (New York) - While the details are still unclear, the only thing known for certain is that tragedy struck the Knicks' clubhouse this evening. According to multiple sources, the afternoon went awry during a Ron Artest/Ben Wallace wrestling match. Ron Artest, famous for stumbling out of the bathroom screaming, "AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE AN ARTEST PARTY!!", initiated a wrestling match with Ben Wallace, as was common on every other Thursday of the month.
This Thursday, however, ended in bloodshed. Tim Duncan, long a source of quiet wisdom and patient certainty, finally broke. In a fit of rage, he hurled himself at the Wallace/Artest duo, throwing punches and kicks with the same fundamental purity and perfection that has long since been his calling card in the league. Artest and Wallace both lay dead within minutes, and it took only moments for Tim Duncan to remove their heads, using the illegal 12' long Bowie knife that Detlef Schremf notoriously keeps on him at all times.
We are now entering hour six of the standoff, as Tim Duncan flatly refuses to acknowledge the presence of the armed officers outside or answer the repeated phone calls from hostage negotiators.
Instead, using the severed heads, he will only shoot picture perfect bank shots from 18 feet, charging a now weeping Tony Parker with retrieving the grotesque skulls and making sound chest passes back to Duncan, to try again.
Topic: 2012 CB Historical Draft Board (New News, Check It Out) (Read 359433 times)