Interesting Celtics related news (Nov 10th 2011)

[KCattheStripe]

So then I says to Willie Shakes, I says, " Maybe you shouldn't write ' Wherefore art thou Romeo' because 300 years from now kids and English teachers will mistakenly think she's asking Romeo where he is and not why he is a Montague." But before I could convince him OJ started hitting on Gwyneth Paltrow and that's how 'Othello' was born"

- Shaq.

[KCattheStripe]

Dear Mr. Stern,
I accept the fact that I had to sacrifice a whole career in detention for whatever it was I did wrong. What I did was wrong. But I think you're crazy to make me write an essay telling you who I think I am. You see us as you want to see me... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what I found out is that Shaq is a brain... ...and an athlete...  ...and a basket case...  ...a princess... ...and a criminal...
 Does that answer your question?...

Sincerely yours,

Shaq Diesel


-Shaq

[indeedproceed]

So then I says to Willie Shakes, I says, " Maybe you shouldn't write ' Wherefore art thou Romeo' because 300 years from now kids and English teachers will mistakenly think she's asking Romeo where he is and not why he is a Montague." But before I could convince him OJ started hitting on Gwyneth Paltrow and that's how 'Othello' was born"

- Shaq.

hahaha

[StartOrien]

"So Shaq was hanging out with his bud Neil Patrick Harris back after Shaq won his last ring in LA. Shaq and Neil were chillin, you know and Shaq says, 'Yo, NPH, know what would be *itchin? If you could get in a movie where you played yourself but as a pill popping, weed smoking, skirt chasing psycho!!! Yeah, that would be legend....wait for it, wait for it...........dary!!! Shaq the bomb!!!!"-------------- Shaquille O'Neal

Pleased to give you your 600th Tp for this one

[StartOrien]

"So they're telling me that they're considering adding advertising to their website. I stopped them right there and then. Took a sip of my drink, and the Big Social Medialist says 'Ya, a million dollars is cool. You wanna know what's cooler than a million dollars? a BILLION dollars.' Then I walked out of the room singing 'Senorita' a song I had written in my head while I was sitting with these dudes looking at their fine lookin' ladies" - Shaquille O'Neil

[KCattheStripe]

So I tell Luke that there you gotta Do or Do Not, there is no try. But he kept on tryin'.


-Shaq.

[indeedproceed]

'If skills sold
Truth be told,
I'd probably be,
Historically,
Closer to Shawn Bradley'
-Shaquille O'Neal

[slamtheking]

"So I says to Penny, 'Penny man, what's with this Little Penny dude?  Makes no sense man.  Whoever heard of a little Penny?

"Penny says to me, 'Shaq, you just jealous because if they did one of you, a Little Shaq is just another name for 'Outhouse'

So I stepped on his little souvenir Little Penny and now he's just a Little Messed Up."  - Shaq

[StartOrien]

"Originally, the hit song by Naughty by Nature was going to be called 'Other People's Privates.' It was the Diesel who came up with the idea of abbreviating that. The original hook was:
You down with other people's privates? /
Indeed, I am!"  
- Shaquille O'Neil

[indeedproceed]

"Lotta people don't know this about me, but for an entire year in 1992, I followed the Barenaked Ladies around Canada. I was big into them back then. Back before they sold out. Them and the Lemonheads."-Shaquille O'Neal

[StartOrien]

"Lotta people don't know this about me, but for an entire year in 1992, I followed the Barenaked Ladies around Canada. I was big into them back then. Back before they sold out. Them and the Lemonheads."-Shaquille O'Neal

You leave the Lemonheads out of this! They're legitimately enjoyable

[thirstyboots18]

Wow!

Bad mouthing Shaq just comes across as jealousy.  Pathetic!

And to steal a line from Jay-Z

men shouldn't be jealous, that's a female trait

Really?  Not jealous, but hurt and resentful of your opinion.   

[KCattheStripe]

So, I accidentally lit this bush on fire when this dude Moses comes by. I duck behind the bush and pretend to be God. I convince Moses that he has to free the Isrealites from the Egyptians and he believed me because I used my deep and serious Shaq post 2004 voice. But I didn't know he was gonna call down curses. So I have to go on top of a mountain and start hurling frogs at the Egyptians. I have to dump a whole bunch of red dye into the Nile. The hardest part was going around to the house of every Egyptian family and giving the eldest son a copy of " Steel" with a card from their parents so the kids would leave because they'd think their parents hated them.

But it was all good, I did it to enhance God's reputation.

- Shaq

[nickagneta]

"Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes" -----Shaquille O'Neal



Oh wait, he actually did say that. Shaq you rascal!!!!

[KCattheStripe]

Brandon Routh, Tell me how my ass tastes. - Shaq.