Here's my open ballot. I FEAR NO REPERCUSSIONS.
Favorite Beer Selection:
1. Sam-n-Ella's (Turns out we have the same taste in beer. Let me know if you're ever in WI)
2. Donaghy's (Another midwest guy, another great sample. Same goes for you, Dons)
3. The Cause and Cure (Pabst, Anchor Steam, Bell's...aside from the hipsters, I'm there)
Favorite Specialty Drink Selection:
1. The Stagger Inn (Love whiskey. Also, did you know that satirist Tom Lehrer invented the jello shot?)
2. Room 112 (All the delicious mixed drinks I make at home for twice the price!)
3. Pandacracy (Best $75 scorpion bowl I've ever had)
Favorite Entertainment (entertainers & activities):
1. The Cause and Cure (Still a Pearl Jam mark through 2 decades, and the Nickelback idea was goddaamn GENIUS)
2. Shenanigans (RHCP and Iggy suggest that relapses are going to happen so much here that they should make it a theme night)
3. Room 112 (Prince and the Roots! Why isn't SO talking about this more?!?!)
Favorite Staff:
1. The Cause and Cure (Would anybody like a PEANUT?)
2. The Rank and File (Two quasi-fictional characters who would do nothing but insult me every hour)
3. Shenanigans (Much like Patton Oswalt before me, I am totally gay-tham for Statham. HAVE YOU SEEN CRANK 2? IT'S LIKE TOUCHING THE FACE OF GOD)
Favorite Food:
1. Sam-n-Ellas (I lived in Pittsburgh for several years, ergo, I like a bunch of crazy crap mixed together and served on bread)
2. The Plagiarist and Apologist (see above)
3. The Rank and File (Nachos, dude. Nachos.)
Favorite Overall:
1. Sam-n-Ellas (Best beers, best bar game - shuffleboard, and best food gives the new guy the nod)
2. The Cause and Cure (Great staff, great beer).
3. Donaghy's (Beer and cornhole are pretty much all I ever want in life when it's summer)
Bar most likely to be a mafia money-laundering scam:
The Rusty Nail - I mean, the place isn't even finished yet. Who drinks everclear straight up at a bar anyway?
Bar where I'm most likely to be spit on for wearing peasant clothes:
The Plagiarist and Apologist - Now THAT is a pretentious tap list. (Honorable mention: The Stagger Inn)
Bar most prone to regular fistfights:
Shecky's. Every single person on the staff hates people. The sign on the door might as well say "Misanthropes only, please."