NBA "tough guy" does not equal fight. Not even the same equation.
It's not, IMO, a case of "NBA players talk a lot but don't want to fight".
Instead, it's "NBA players talk a lot which has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH FIGHTING."
To say someone is all bark and no bite connotes that they were barking about something, then when called upon to follow up did nothing.
Instead, in the case of the really good NBA trash talkers, they were talking a lot and BACKED IT UP RUTHLESSLY ON THE COURT.
Huge difference in my opinion. I'm sorry for all the caps, but that's just a really silly line of thought to me. If a basketball player talks mad trash to his opponent on the court, proceeds to stomp a mutt-hole in him as a player, and is uninterested in fighting...he more than backed up his bark IMO. To think that fighting has any bearing at all on the bark/bite continuum is as ridiculous to me as someone calling Mohammed Ali all bark/no bite because he never proved he could hit a jump-shot in Foreman's eye.
Eh, I think your metaphor is lacking a bit, although it is pretty snappy.
We'll never know what is actually said on the court, but if a guy questions another guy's manhood, calls him a coward (or another 5 letter word meaning coward), and as a result gets into a confrontation which he than retreats from, I think in a lot of ways that's sending conflicting messages.
I think your view of what constitutes 'tough', and the intended meaning of 'tough' in the view of actual basketball players is a bit more optimistic and idealoigcal than practical. These guys aren't brought up to prove their manhood by soundly boxing out a guy and getting a contested rebound, or being able to hit a fadeaway baseline jumper, and when they question a guy's manhood, they're not questioning whether or not he's a 85% freethrow shooter.
No offense intended, as I know nothing of your background, but I dare say that I share more of a background with the way "these guys" are brought up than maybe anyone on this board, and your description of trash talk is lacking. It's just not true, because it's all about context.
If I'm out on the street and I tell someone, "You a (5 letter word meaning coward). I'm bout to make you my son, (expletive deleted)." Then yeah, I'm ready to fight.
But if I say that EXACT same thing to that EXACT same person on the court, it means I'm about to make him look stupid on the basketball court. No, it's not about boxing out technique or free throw percentage...it's about me being so much better than him on the court that I'm gonna make him look weak, and I'm telling him about it before I do it, while I'm doing it, AND after I'm done doing it. And again, let me be clear...THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME FIGHTING HIM!
Now, a good trash talk/on-court beat down can LEAD to a fight if the person that got embarrassed feels like they have to try to do SOMETHING to get some kind of pride back. But in that case, the person talking the trash already won. It means they got in the person's head.
Case in point. In any of the 5-million "KG is a punk" threads that have circulated the various message boards in the last couple of years, someone will ALWAYS mention Anthony Peeler. For those few who don't know the Peeler reference, he was a shooting guard for the Kings (and former KG teammate in Minnesota) who got into it with KG in game 6 of the 2004 2nd round of the playoffs. After exchanging shoves, Peeler threw a bow at KG's chin and squared off. KG hopped up and down and then stepped back. Peeler was suspended for game 7. KG wasn't, and proceeded to drop 32 points, 21 boards, 5 blocks, 4 steals and one of the greatest game 7s in NBA history on Peeler's Kings to eliminate them from the playoffs.
Now. Internet nerds who weigh in on message boards always bring this up as Peeler showing KG who is tough. But I GUARANTEE you that for any player on either of those 2 teams, KG kicked Peeler's tail. He not only beat him down, he gave the entire city of Sacramento a beating as well. That's a basketball tough guy. And again, it had NOTHING to do with the actual fight.