Bill Simmons on the Celtics, Thunder

[Roy H.]

Simmons did a "Playoff Contenders" article.  Here's what he wrote for everybody's two favorite teams:

YOUNG & HUNGRY

6. Oklahoma City
A few weeks ago, Kendrick Perkins said something interesting: he believed you need two quality big guys if you really want a good defensive team. His reasoning was that one guy alone couldn't protect the rim, defend the low-post and jump out on high screens. With two big guys, everything falls into place. Before Thursday's Bulls-Celtics game, Tom Thibodeau made a similar point: he said that, defensively, it didn't get any better than the Perkins-Garnett duo.

Now, I have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about this -- not just what Perkins said, but defense and what makes it work -- because the Celtics have unraveled over these last few weeks, and also because Perkins transformed Oklahoma City and unleashed Ibaka (who no longer has to defend everyone else's best low-post guy) as a devastating weak side shot blocker and general menace. The Thunder can go to war with anyone now. Two weeks ago, I spent some time with Phil Jackson and Game 7 of the 2010 Finals happened to come up, mainly because I felt like torturing myself. That game was decided within the six feet around both baskets. A turf war, if you will. The Lakers were a little tougher, a little bigger and a little deeper on that specific night. That's why they won. Twelve years earlier, Jackson's Bulls played another one of those turf war games in a Game 7 against Indiana. Jordan and Pippen (neither taller than 6-foot-7) somehow controlled the turf. Chicago prevailed.

I asked Jackson if the two games reminded him of each other. He couldn't have agreed fast enough. For whatever reason, he gravitated towards the 1998 game, which he clearly relished winning even all these years later. ("Michael and Scottie, they just wanted it so badly," he said. "They just wouldn't let us lose.") But also, Indiana couldn't protect that six feet. The Pacers got outrebounded by 16 by a smaller team. They weren't tough enough. The 2011 Bulls are built to protect that six feet -- in Thursday's game, they manhandled the Celtics, intimidated them and shoved them around like a weak offensive line -- as are the 2011 Lakers and 2011 Zombies, and maybe even the Heat if LeBron and Wade pull a 1998 Pippen/MJ against a softer team.

Anyway, it's easy to concentrate on the trade's watershed effect on Boston -- in retrospect, Danny Ainge should have just flown the whole team to Dallas, crammed the players into a limo, had them do the turn around Dealey Plaza and just started shooting at them from the Grassy Knoll -- and inadvertently skip over how brilliant it was for Oklahoma City. Their team makes sense now. Jeff Green's minutes were redistributed to Perkins, Ibaka and James Harden. Durant gets to play more small forward, where he can shoot over anyone. Suddenly their swing guy is Russell Westbrook (slightly miscast as a point guard/decision maker) and his ability to coexist with Durant every night (who's just a better offensive player). What's weird is that they're best friends, and yet they can't totally figure out how to play together -- it's like watching two hip-hop artists awkwardly team up for a song and just take turns shouting. Lately they've been running more high screens together; either Westbrook goes hard to the hoop, they get a switch and Durant gets to shoot over a point guard, or both guys go to Westbrook and Durant gets to shoot a 3. It's mildly unstoppable.

Here's the point: The Zombies are 18-to-1 to win the title right now. It's the one bargain out there. They can defend, rebound and score at the end of games. More importantly, they can protect that six feet. Thanks to Danny Ainge. But still.

THE OLD GUARD

5. Boston
This could be 450 words or 45,000. I will spare you -- we'll go for 450. Just know that I can't remember another deadline deal knocking a team from "favorites" to "also-rans." There's no historical precedent. The trade undermined everything the Celtics were about: size, toughness, togetherness, chemistry, friendship, relationships ... it erased their identity Jason Bourne-style. Whether it was true or not, this particular Celtics team really did believe in the whole "nobody has ever beaten us in a series when we had our starting five" mantra, just like they believed in "ubuntu" and their ability to protect that aforementioned six feet at all times. Well, how do you preach "ubuntu" after you just blindsided one of your core guys in a trade that didn't totally need to happen? So it's conditional ubuntu?

The more I watch this Celtics team, the more I realized that they were overachieving those first 3½ months because of chemistry and swagger. Watching Chicago rough them up Thursday was pretty depressing. Keith Bogans pushed Ray Allen around like a rag doll. Kurt Thomas and Glen Davis fell into a heap, then Thomas jumped up and stood over Davis like he had just tripped him in a prison cafeteria and wanted to send him a message before they both got sent to the hole. Joakim Noah pranced around and did Noah things knowing that everyone had his back. With 20 seconds left in a blowout, Carlos Boozer got tangled with Nenad Krstic and decided to shove him six feet, got called for a foul, then stared him down before sauntering back to his bench and being greeted by smiling teammates. Honestly, it was like watching a deleted Cobra Kai scene. The trade was bad enough -- watching my team get punked out on national TV was something else. That game made me ill. So does the trade. I don't know what the Celtics are anymore, and neither do they.

One more thing: Every Celtics fan is in "last year, we wrote them off and we made the Finals" mode. Which is fine. That's what you do when you're grieving. You make excuses. Just know that ...

A. The 2011 Bulls are better than any 2010 Eastern team. There's no comparison, actually. All season long I've been watching them with the same frightened look that Mickey had during Clubber Lang's fights in the beginning if "Rocky 3."

B. The odds of the 2011 Celtics getting a gift on the level of WTHHTLBJBG3G6 (Whatever The Hell Happened To LeBron James Between Game 3 and Game 6) are about 100-to-1. Miracles don't happen twice.

In a way, this article made me feel better, because one thing we've seen over the last few seasons, it's that Simmons is consistently wrong about the team.  I agree with his rationale regarding the Perk trade, and how it was a team crippler.  At the same time, his seeming belief in the invincibility of Chicago, and his further belief that we were handed a gift by Lebron last year (rather than us beating him down) reminds me that there's a reason I don't like him.

Again, he's spot-on with the Perk analysis in my opinion, but as always, he gives up hope too soon.

[Onslaught]

I've lost all hope for this season. And with the Heat and Miami out there I've lost all hope for years to come.

[ManUp]

Bill Simmons is a great entertaining writer, but I've never seen any "fan" give up on his team so easily and consistently. I mean it happens every season, things are going good and then we hit a bump, some other team hits its stride and he jumps off the band wagon. He loves giving away titles in march and april. Unfotunately, with all thoses misses he's bound to hit some time and it might be this season. It's pretty crazy that at this point after the trade I still don't know what to make of this team. Did Perk really matter that much?

[Prof. Clutch]

Saw Simmons' article yesterday and thought about starting a thread on it, but I didn't even know where to begin with it...

[Mike]

How many times must it be said, Kendrick Perkins played TWELVE games for the Celtics this season. We were really, really good without him. The X factor is going to be Shaq. If he's healthy, I like our chances. If not, well, I'm probably still going to tell myself that we can pull it off just like I did in '09 when KG was out, just to make myself feel better.

[PseudoElite]

Simmons is entertaining, but his basketball predictions suck, much like most of ESPN.

Celtics are still a contender and will be until either Banner 18 or a playoff exit. Enough with this negative crap.

[Raising 18]

simmons proves again to never have any faith in the team no matter what is going on and also continues to give the team NO credit for what it a accomplished...

his analysis about the baby incident and the boozer things are so stupid its not even worth having the discussion..

hes become so mainstream that he now takes the opinion of everybody else with no thinking of his own.. sad because at one time he was a brilliant writer.. Now?? hes a national hack

[Raising 18]

and also regarding simmons he keeps going back to the GSW game he was at prior to the trade...

ive never seen anybody make such a big deal out of a win against a less than mediocre opponent..

and he keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on about that stupid game.. a game in which they played a below average first half(with Perk) and then a good 2nd half(without Perk) his logic is mind-boggling

[alley oop]

He contradicts rather than supports his own  "someone to defend the low post" thesis with his point below:

Twelve years earlier, Jackson's Bulls played another one of those turf war games in a Game 7 against Indiana. Jordan and Pippen (neither taller than 6-foot-7) somehow controlled the turf. Chicago prevailed.

Also, the C's also outplayed the Cavaliers for most of first game of last years Playoffs. Lucky series bologney. Another ESPN sportswriter. And as already has been said, Shaq changes things.

[dasani]

people still take simmons seriously? he is a joke now.

[CelticSooner]

simmons proves again to never have any faith in the team no matter what is going on and also continues to give the team NO credit for what it a accomplished...

Very true. He gives up way too easy. Case in point.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/part2/100416&sportCat=nba

[RebusRankin]

Simmons is no longer the Sports Guy. No Longer a Boston Celtics fan. No longer the average fan writing. He's part of the ESPN machine. They need somebody new.

[Onslaught]

How many times must it be said, Kendrick Perkins played TWELVE games for the Celtics this season. We were really, really good without him. The X factor is going to be Shaq. If he's healthy, I like our chances. If not, well, I'm probably still going to tell myself that we can pull it off just like I did in '09 when KG was out, just to make myself feel better.

1. He wasn't the only player traded away or new to the team now.
2. Perk was still part of the team. We don't see what happens when the tv isn't on them.
3. We've stunk to high heaven after the trade. And before the trade Shaq was out and we didn't stink so bad.

[Prof. Clutch]

I like him for his anecdotes and his little unique insights into the game, but when it comes to the Celtics, Bill takes too extreme a position on things way too quickly.

A lot of people have already stuck a fork in the Celtics, but I think the C's shouldn't be counted out so easily.

[PseudoElite]

I like him for his anecdotes and his little unique insights into the game, but when it comes to the Celtics, Bill takes too extreme a position on things way too quickly.

A lot of people have already stuck a fork in the Celtics, but I think they shouldn't be counted out so easily.

lol TP.

Panic button is being pushed way too early. You rule out the Celtics at your own risk.