BFM - I have to disagree with your last comment there -
"A basketball game or any sports is not the place to learn moral science and "how to talk" to people...you'll always be disappointed."
Besides the Kobe's and KG's of the game, there was a man named David Robinson.
He played the game the way I'd like my own son to play it. Same with Ray Allen.
To me, there is still a way to play Basketball or any sport to where your son or daughter won't be embarrassed. That's why they have awards for SportsPerson of the Year.
If you think Ray Allen and/or David Robinson has never said anything intimidating, hurtful, or overly personal and aggressive while playing basketball, you're wrong. I don't need tape to prove it, its just human nature.
These guys aren't John Smith, public accountant, but with a 7ft wingspan and a deft shooting touch. How do you think they got to be so good at basketball?
Its a hyper competitive need to be better, along with the discipline to achieve those needs. And these guys aren't the dude from Tin Cup waiting on the perfect swing..they're playing first their brothers, sisters, fathers, neighbors in extremely personal and combative games of pickup.
Then, they take those lessons of reward for their hyper competitiveness to high school, where they just HAD to be better than the upperclassmen. You don't get to 25 points and 11 rebounds as a junior by being a nice guy.
Then, they took that confidence and their natural gifts AND their hyper competitiveness to college, where they honed them even further (or went straight to the pros, ala KG). And so on.
Ray Allen has bullied people on the court. David Robinson bullied people on the court. Its how it goes. That doesn't mean they chased the other kids home after school with the threats of a beat down. There are different types of bullying, and in sports, its okay to humiliate your opponent. Sure, some people play for the fun of the game, but those guys play on Sundays at the Y. They don't play Madison Square Garden.
Sports aren't nice. They're a competition, and in the pros, wins matter. Heck, when I played football, my greatest joy as a defensive lineman was looking across that line of scrimmage and seeing a dude that I was going to absolutely victimize. And, if he was as good or better than me, I didn't just give up. There are a million dirty tricks you pick up over time, and I'd keep using them until I found one that works.
There is a part I think you're missing, or not acknowledging. You shake hands after the game. At the end of the day we're all just regular guys who like to play the same sport and had the fate of growing up in different areas, or getting drafted by different teams or whatever. We're not different, we might even be friends off the court/field/pitch.
But during the game, that worthless Godless immoral scumbag across from you wants to dominate you, take your lunch money, and date your sister. You gotta defend your house, man.
Can some guys take it too far? Sure they can. But in pro sports, college sports, high school sports, heck some pickup games..the guys who get called on it are the guys who go too far and lose.
I play rugby now, and that's a great example of what I'm talking about. I have literally punched a guy in the face on the bottom of a ruck (its complicated if you don't know what I'm talking about, but picture a hybrid baby of a fumble in football and the snap of the ball at the line of scrimmage) because I thought he deserved it for one stupid reason or another. After the game, we have a drinkup, and we talk about how much of a jerk we were while we get hammered. That's the sportsmanship I like.
If you have a bully in sports, either beat him or quit. Don't complain after the game, and don't post that garbage on twitter.