...Doc can't coach
...Doc's substitutions suck
...the Big Three are old
...Rasheed's awful
...Rondo can't hit free throws
...Davis is fat and out of shape
...Daniels is always injured
...Eddie House can't shoot
...my car needs a tune up
...my job doesn't pay me enough
...my high def tv has a spot on it
...Cleveland is too good
...Kobe is great
...Orlando is a better team
...my wife is mad at me
...I'm overweight
...my mkid is failing math
...Atlanta is too athletic
...we have no heart
...Tony Allen should be starting
...Billy Walker should be playing
...Doc doesn't develop young guys
...Danny is afraid to trade anyone
...my boss hates me
...the **** isn't working
...I have a bald spot
...it's been cold forever
...my credit card bills are too high
...my wardrobe needs updating
...KG is all done
...NBA refs are against the Celtics
...David Stern is trying to sabotage the Celtics
...Pierce can't draw any fouls anymore
...Shelden Williams has awful hands
...my dog ate my homework
...the sky is falling
...the grass is greener over there
...James Posey is a Hornet
...Danny Ainge won't sign good free agents
...the Celtics trash talk to much
...the Celtics complain to the refs too much
...Republicans are ruining the country
...Democrats are ruining the country
...the President is ruining the country
...the ex-President ruined the country
...the Celtics are ruining my winter
...we're too old
...we're all done
...the window is closed
...Larry Bird is not walking through that door, fans. Kevin McHale is not walking through that door, and Robert Parish is not walking through that door.
...all the negativity in this town sucks. It sucks, and it stinks, and it sucks
...Jack Bauer is now lame
...Simon is leaving American idol
...John Locke is dead
...steroids ruined baseball
...protecting quarterbacks ruined football
...flopping ruined basketball
...the C's don't have a killer instinct
...they can't close out teams
...they don't dominate in the third period anymore
...too many turnovers
...not enough rebounds
...too many defensive lapses
...not enough rest for the starters
...too many injuries
...not enough good bench players
...Tony's BBIQ is too low
...Ray's age is too high
...Baby's elevation is too low
...Doc coaches like he's high
...I'm going bald
...I should have gotten that raise
...Danny should have signed Jamal Crawford
...I shouldn't have bought that new Toyota
...Garnett shouldn't have come back so soon
...that girl looked better when I was drunk
...Danny should have signed Powe
...that condom shouldn't have broken
...we have no bench
...we have no intensity
...we have no chance
...we have no financial flexibility
...we have no future
...we have no excuses
And that's why we won't win the championship.
Or at least, that's what I've heard.
