Let's pretend this is the future and all trade restrictions have passed
Boston trades:
Ray Allen
Perk
Scals
Eddie
And get in return:
Q-Rich
As big as a gazebo Randolph
Mark Fan Favorite Blount
Minnesota gets Haslem and Haddadi
Miami gets Perk and Scal
Memphis gets Ray and Eddie
Rondo/Someone
Richardson/Tony
Pierce/Daniels
Garnett/Sheed
Randolph/Blount
The keys of the deal for Boston, we get a very servicable centers and favorite player of everyone in Blount; Paul Pierce gets his best friend finally on the Celtics, in the starting lineup right beside him. We can send Randolph to Coney Island and have Boston represented proudly in the hot dog eating contest AND best of all, we get to keep Tony!

I win.