Kansas Jokes

[QuinielaBox]

If you're proud that your region makes the
national news at least 96
times each year because it's the hottest or the
coldest spot in the
nation, you might live in Wichita, Kansas .
 
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving
around the middle of his forehead,
you might live in Flush, Kansas .
 
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Colby, Kansas ..
 
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Hutchinson, Kansas ..
 
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Garfield, Kansas.

 
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Kansan WHEN 'Vacation' means going east or
west on I-70 for the weekend.
 
If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas City, Kansas.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you
might live in Medicine Lodge, Kansas ..
 
If you often switch from 'Heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back
again, you might live in Satanta, Kansas.
 
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching, you might live in Greensburg, Kansas.
 
If you see people wearing camouflage at social events
(including weddings), you might live in Great Bend, Kansas.
 
If you install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked, you might live in Belpre, Kansas.
 
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
to use them, you might live in Larned, Kansas.
 
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow, you might live in Wichita, Kansas.
 
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction, you might live in Gardner, Kansas.
 
If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce, you might live in Derby, Kansas.
 
If "Going Down South" means Oklahoma, you might live in Protection, Kansas.
 
If a brat is something you eat, you might live in Argonia, Kansas.
 
If your idea of going out to eat is a tail gate party every Friday,
you might live in Cimarron, Kansas.
 
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car; you might
live in Goodland, Kansas.
 
If you find 0 degrees to be 'a little chilly', you might live in Manhattan, Kansas.
 
If you actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
your Celtic blogging friends -- you have lived in Kansas too long, are completely bored with nothing to talk about on a Sunday afternoon on Celticsblog.

[Steve Weinman]

If you're proud that your region makes the
national news at least 96
times each year because it's the hottest or the
coldest spot in the
nation, you might live in Wichita, Kansas .
 
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving
around the middle of his forehead,
you might live in Flush, Kansas .
 
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Colby, Kansas ..
 
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Hutchinson, Kansas ..
 
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Garfield, Kansas.

 
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Kansan WHEN 'Vacation' means going east or
west on I-70 for the weekend.
 
If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas City, Kansas.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you
might live in Medicine Lodge, Kansas ..
 
If you often switch from 'Heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back
again, you might live in Satanta, Kansas.
 
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching, you might live in Greensburg, Kansas.
 
If you see people wearing camouflage at social events
(including weddings), you might live in Great Bend, Kansas.
 
If you install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked, you might live in Belpre, Kansas.
 
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
to use them, you might live in Larned, Kansas.
 
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow, you might live in Wichita, Kansas.
 
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction, you might live in Gardner, Kansas.
 
If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce, you might live in Derby, Kansas.
 
If "Going Down South" means Oklahoma, you might live in Protection, Kansas.
 
If a brat is something you eat, you might live in Argonia, Kansas.
 
If your idea of going out to eat is a tail gate party every Friday,
you might live in Cimarron, Kansas.
 
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car; you might
live in Goodland, Kansas.
 
If you find 0 degrees to be 'a little chilly', you might live in Manhattan, Kansas.
 
If you actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
your Celtic blogging friends -- you have lived in Kansas too long, are completely bored with nothing to talk about on a Sunday afternoon on Celticsblog.

Funny stuff, Q, and worth a TP - though I must admit, when I first saw the thread title in the "latest forum topics," I wondered for a second if I had found a fellow member of Mizzou folk looking to poke fun at a hated rival...

-sw