It's unnatural. In time, things build up and gather. Eventually, they reach boiling point. Suddenly you find yourself repeatedly saying no; asking yourself how could this happen. In truth, you don't have to look far for the answer but you continue to waste time. It's not a case of fear, nor is it a sense of pleasure. You know where to go but don't know how to get there. You end up refusing to look. That's the end, it's over. Can you go back? No. And you sure as hell can't go forward either.