Office quotes

[Hollywood]

Michael: [stand up comic voice] But seriously, what's the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?
Dwight: Saleswoman has a vagina.
Michael: It's a joke, Dwight. It's not a Sex Ed class.
Dwight: But I'm right?
Michael: Yeah, you're right about the difference between a man and a woman, but not about the punch line to the joke, right? [stand up comic voice] The difference between a salesman and a saleswoman... is boobs!


Michael at Improv class...

Girl acting Pregnant: I'm supposed to meet my doctor here? Have ya seen him? He's a very angry midget.
Michael: Boom! Freeze! Michael Scoon, FBI. You know what you did. Boom! Boom! Boom! [shoots at Pregnant Girl and another actor] Yeah, you thought that you could get away with your little ruse, didn't you? Didn't ya!? Well, you didn't, because I know where ya hid the diamonds. I been on to you and your little friends for weeks. [another actor steps in] Boom! Boom! Boom!
Actor: I'm not even in the scene!
Actress: Again!?
Michael: Boom! Boom!
Improv Teacher: Stop, stop, ok, stop.
Michael: Boom! Boom!
Improv Teacher: You shot me, great. Now stop.
Michael: Why
Improv Teacher: You can't just shoot everyone in the scene.
Michael: Well, if you hadn't stopped the scene, you would have seen where it was going.
Improv Teacher: Ok, what about the scene they set up?
Michael: Boring.
Improv Teacher: No, it wasn't. No more guns.
Michael: I could of-
Improv Teacher: No. No. Michael, I want you to give me all the guns you have.
Michael: Ok.
Improv Teacher: Just, I want you to get rid of all your guns and give them to me. Great.
Michael: Yehhhehh.
Improv Teacher: Yeeehh, ok.

[cordobes]

Great post, it's really hard to pick one.

David Brent: "There are limits to my comedy. There are things that I'll never laugh at. The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or any deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go 'ooh, look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced.' Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he's not, it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones."

Oh, and I don't agree with ACN. I think that BBC's The Office >>> NBC's The Office. While both good, the two versions are different. I rarely laugh loud when watching the original. It was more painful than funny. The American version is more funny than painful. I prefer the former.

I said the BBC version is brilliant..is that not praise You basically said the same thing I said, the American is more laugh out loud where as the David Brent scenes are painful but that is the type of humor I prefer as well. I also love Gareth but you have to admit besides the main 4 characters and Keith the British Office doesn't have as much hilarity from the supporting cast that the American version has.

Yeah, I agree, the supporting cast in the american version is more developed.I still prefer the UK version though.

Ha, the great UK vs. US Office debate makes its way to Celticsblog. I love both shows but they are very different.

My favorite quote comes from the UK version. Can't post it here because it's probably too filthy but it has to do with fanny packs.

I suppose it's this one. With the video people can opt to watch it or not. NOT SAFE TO WORK:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTxD49qBDvs

[Reggie's Ghost]

I have watched plenty of both the UK & US versions, and although I give the UK version all the credit in the world for being the original, the US version is better in every way to me.  I don;t know why, but I find myself cringing uncomfortably when I'm watching the UK version, but the US version is so well written and acted, and the first three seasons are just impeccable.

There are those who find this opinion to be blasphemy, but head to head there's no comparison to me...

[Andrew Celtic Nation]

The entire Michael Scott at Improv class stuff is classic.

[aliendave]

I suppose it's this one.

Still cracks me up.

[BigThreePeat]

I was out on a date with some girl last night and we started talking about The Office.  She said her favorite scene was when Michael signed up for some online dating thing and made his screenname "LittleKidLover, that way people will know where my priorities are."

[incoherent]

The entire Michael Scott at Improv class stuff is classic.

Agree, what is the worst possible thing you could do at improv class?  Pretend to have a gun and shoot everyone before they can take part in the scene in any way possible.

[Celtic]

"There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?” - Pam

[staticcc]

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard

[Celtic]

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard

That was an awesome line, I almost started laughing and then didn't realizing just how sad what he was saying was.

I figured I'd dredge this old thread up since the finale was last night. The quality of the show certainly had it's ups and downs, but it's definitely still my favorite.

[JSD]

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, BOTH. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. - Michael Scott

[maliyahGillard]

There are lots of good quotes in this corner.

[The One]

"Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over." - Michael