Derrick White Out For Game 2

[nickagneta]

You don't exist in a vacuum. Your actions effect the lives of the people around you.

To achieve mastery at the highest level requires sacrifice. Just to make it to the NBA requires sacrifice. To go further and then to succeed in the NBA requires sacrifice. And to make it to the absolute summit and win a Championship requires more sacrifice again (including submission to a collective; ie the team above me).

This has been a life-long mission for all these guys. Every single one of them. They have worked their entire lives for this opportunity. To make it to this point. To have the Title in their sights; in their grasps.

Yes, I think it is selfish & yes, I think it is a betrayal of the work and life-long ambitions of the people around you to skip this game and possibly cheat all these people out of what they have worked their entire lives for in order to be there for the birth of your child. I do.

Now, you can individually choose that is more important to you than a title. That is your choice. But your choice effects more than just you and your wife. It effects all those other people around you as well.

This is not the same a regular John Doe leaving work to be at the birth of his child. Regular John Doe has not spent a lifetime mastering a skill. He has not sacrificed all his life for this moment. His job is not full of people who have likewise sacrificed all their life for mastery of skill & creation of this opportunity for ultimate success. Who have spent a lifetime trying to get to this very moment. His workplace will not fall apart because he misses a day's work to be at the birth of his child.

I do not agree with his decision. I do not like his decision. Anyway, it is what it is. I just hope it doesn't cost the team a Championship and it might.

You're just making yourself look worse and worse, Who.

It's a freaking basketball game. Derrick may not ever have another child. It's his kid and wife. They are infinitely more important than missing one game.

[tonydelk]

This is a betrayal of the team; of every single member of this team's hard work all season long.

You DO NOT skip out on games at this time of the year.
You DO NOT skip out on your team when they are short-handed, on the road and down in the series.
You DO NOT cost your team a Championship.

If we lose this series because of this selfishness, I do not want to see White back next season. Kick him off the team.

Imagine losing the 1984 title because Cedric Maxwell wanted to be at the hospital.

Hey guess what, the baby is still going to be there after the game. Leave right after the game and be with your family. But DO NOT skip the game, betray your team and teammates and potentially cost your team a Championship.

This post is utter nonsense.

Sorry but this post is asinine.  Family 1st above all else.  You can't have a family of your own or have kids or you'd understand.  The birth if your child is one of the most special days in your life.  I'd be devastated if I missed one of mine.  Especially your 1st. 

You may want to think b4 you speak next time.  Not a good look.  I commend Derrik for choosing family 1st.  Hope for a quick and easy delivery for his wide with no complications and a healthy baby.

[RJ87]

You don't exist in a vacuum. Your actions effect the lives of the people around you.

The most important people around him that feel the implications of his actions are his wife and new child.

[angryguy77]

I do wonder, if he did play, would there be a thread bashing him for being a bad dad/husband, or would we all be praising him for sacrificing for the team?

[RJ87]

I do wonder, if he did play, would there be a thread bashing him for being a bad dad/husband, or would we all be praising him for sacrificing for the team?

Not from me. I personally think Gordon Hayward made a huge mistake staying in the bubble. He missed the birth of his first son - a son he talked openly about wanting - and what does a have to show for it? Nothing.

[86MaxwellSmart]

I will miss his 1 for 10 shooting.

[Celtic Fan Forever]

I don't know the cultural norms where Who is from.  Here, men have only been in the delivery room for what, the past 40 years or so?  So, I guess I understand the perspective.  If you're paid $17 million, and being in the delivery room isn't that big a deal to you, then missing 3 or 4 hours of labor may be fine.

But, I know in my case, I could have had the trial of the century, and I would have been in that room.  And I know that the entire courthouse would have supported me.  It's just where we are as a culture right now, and I think it's great.  Even pro athletes need a work / life balance.  They're not robots.

As a fellow litigation attorney I agree. There is nothing that trumps the birth of your child, especially your first child. I don’t care how much money Derrick White makes and how many of us care about the results of this basketball game: it’s his job. Almost everyone I know would miss work to watch the birth of their first child and be there for their wife.

[mobilija]

This is a betrayal of the team; of every single member of this team's hard work all season long.

You DO NOT skip out on games at this time of the year.
You DO NOT skip out on your team when they are short-handed, on the road and down in the series.
You DO NOT cost your team a Championship.

If we lose this series because of this selfishness, I do not want to see White back next season. Kick him off the team.

Imagine losing the 1984 title because Cedric Maxwell wanted to be at the hospital.

Hey guess what, the baby is still going to be there after the game. Leave right after the game and be with your family. But DO NOT skip the game, betray your team and teammates and potentially cost your team a Championship.

Yeah...betray your wife instead...

My guess is there are no father of the year awards heading ur way

[Who]

I don't know the cultural norms where Who is from.  Here, men have only been in the delivery room for what, the past 40 years or so?  So, I guess I understand the perspective.  If you're paid $17 million, and being in the delivery room isn't that big a deal to you, then missing 3 or 4 hours of labor may be fine.

But, I know in my case, I could have had the trial of the century, and I would have been in that room.  And I know that the entire courthouse would have supported me.  It's just where we are as a culture right now, and I think it's great.  Even pro athletes need a work / life balance.  They're not robots.

It's interesting. I see two different cultural shifts here:

The first is the role of the man during childbirth going from you were not even allowed in the room which you wouldn't have even thought to ask to being expected / obligated to being in the room. All within the last 40-50 years.

The second cultural shift I see is in terms of sacrifice, mastery & life long goals / ambition. I am not sure how well I articulated that. I am going to give that one another go.

It's been awhile and I am a bit hazy on the details at this point but I'll tell this story as best I can recall it.

It is a Joe Dumars story. It was during the NBA Finals. I forget which year 88, 89, 90. His dad was dying. He was in the hospital and he was expected to die very soon. Dumars was faced with a decision of whether to go be by his father's side and with the rest of his family to support them or whether to play in the NBA Finals. It was mid-series game 3 or 4. I forget if it was Lakers or Blazers.

Joe knew his father was about to die. His father and the rest of Joe's family knew he was about to die. But Joe decided to play in the Finals. He did so with the blessing of his father. Why? Because his father knew how much it meant to Joe. That Joe had worked his whole life for this moment. He knew all the hours and all the sacrifices Joe made to get to that moment and how special that moment & achievement was. Why? Because his father had been right there with him throughout it. Helping him. He had been on that journey too. They were very close.

Joe played. If I remember right, he didn't tell his teammates what was going on. They knew his dad was sick but did not know he was dying / going to die very soon. Something like that. The Pistons trainers knew how bad the situation was. Joe talked to them. He told them (paraphrasing) "if my dad dies during the game, do not tell me. Wait until after the game. Tell me then". He did not want to be distracted; to have the news of his father's death adversely effect how he played.

Joe had a great game, helped the Pistons win and I believe it was one of the years they won the title. I don't remember whether it was the year Joe won the Finals MVP or not. Anyway, Joe's dad during that game. The trainers did not tell Joe during the game as Joe asked them not to until after the game.

--------

There was an understanding of sacrifice. That you would have to go to extreme lengths to accomplish great things (mastery). That you would need to miss out on things on life at all various stages of this journey towards mastery / success.

There was an understanding of this. An acceptance of this. Not just by the individual on that journey but also by the people around him (his family).

And also other people who decided they were unwilling to make those sacrifices and instead chose a different path to walk knowing that they were not able to go to the extremes / make the sacrifices the others were willing to make. That you would not achieve the things that others would achieve because they were willing to make those sacrifices and you were not.

Nowadays the expectations & willingness of sacrifices on the road to greatness / mastery / achievement of life-long ambitions seems to be less. That you should not miss out on monumental moments in life such as the birth of your child or the dead of your father.


Is this progress? Perhaps it is. I don't know.

[footey]

I don't know the cultural norms where Who is from.  Here, men have only been in the delivery room for what, the past 40 years or so?  So, I guess I understand the perspective.  If you're paid $17 million, and being in the delivery room isn't that big a deal to you, then missing 3 or 4 hours of labor may be fine.

But, I know in my case, I could have had the trial of the century, and I would have been in that room.  And I know that the entire courthouse would have supported me.  It's just where we are as a culture right now, and I think it's great.  Even pro athletes need a work / life balance.  They're not robots.

It's interesting. I see two different cultural shifts here:

The first is the role of the man during childbirth going from you were not even allowed in the room which you wouldn't have even thought to ask to being expected / obligated to being in the room. All within the last 40-50 years.

The second cultural shift I see is in terms of sacrifice, mastery & life long goals / ambition. I am not sure how well I articulated that. I am going to give that one another go.

It's been awhile and I am a bit hazy on the details at this point but I'll tell this story as best I can recall it.

It is a Joe Dumars story. It was during the NBA Finals. I forget which year 88, 89, 90. His dad was dying. He was in the hospital and he was expected to die very soon. Dumars was faced with a decision of whether to go be by his father's side and with the rest of his family to support them or whether to play in the NBA Finals. It was mid-series game 3 or 4. I forget if it was Lakers or Blazers.

Joe knew his father was about to die. His father and the rest of Joe's family knew he was about to die. But Joe decided to play in the Finals. He did so with the blessing of his father. Why? Because his father knew how much it meant to Joe. That Joe had worked his whole life for this moment. He knew all the hours and all the sacrifices Joe made to get to that moment and how special that moment & achievement was. Why? Because his father had been right there with him throughout it. Helping him. He had been on that journey too. They were very close.

Joe played. If I remember right, he didn't tell his teammates what was going on. They knew his dad was sick but did not know he was dying / going to die very soon. Something like that. The Pistons trainers knew how bad the situation was. Joe talked to them. He told them (paraphrasing) "if my dad dies during the game, do not tell me. Wait until after the game. Tell me then".

Joe had a great game, helped the Pistons win and I believe it was one of the years they won the title. I don't remember whether it was the year Joe won the Finals MVP or not. Anyway, Joe's dad during that game. The trainers did not tell Joe during the game as Joe asked them not to until after the game.

--------

There was an understanding of sacrifice. That you would have to go to extreme lengths to accomplish great things (mastery). That you would need to miss out on things on life at all various stages of this journey towards mastery / success.

There was an understanding of this. An acceptance of this. Not just by the individual on that journey but also by the people around him (his family) and also other people who decided they were unwilling to make those sacrifices and instead chose a different path to walk knowing that they were not able to go to the extremes / make the sacrifices the others were willing to make.

Nowadays the expectations & willingness of sacrifices on the road to greatness / mastery / achievement of life-long ambitions seems to be less. That you should not miss out on monumental moments in life such as the birth of your child or the dead of your father.


Is this progress? Perhaps it is. I don't know.

I get where you are coming from.  If Derrick's wife told him to play in the game, that she and the baby will be fine, then maybe he would  be playing tonight.  If Joe's dad told Joe to stay with him, pretty sure Joe would have stayed with him and not played that night. We don't know the total facts here.  In a vacuum, most of us (especially if we have experienced fatherhood) would understand the importance of being in the delivery room for the birth of your child.

There was some debate about this same topic during the bubble when Gordon's wife was about to give birth.  He elected to stay with the team, at least until she went into labor (while nursing a badly sprained ankle).  I don't remember whether he would have stayed with the team or not had he been healthy and she had given birth while we were still playing.  I think the protocol rules back then were pretty strict, and that he would have had to wait a long stretch of days before re-entering the bubble.   Maybe someone here can let us know.

[Who]

I get where you are coming from.  If Derrick's wife told him to play in the game, that she and the baby will be fine, then maybe he would  be playing tonight.  If Joe's dad told Joe to stay with him, pretty sure Joe would have stayed with him and not played that night. We don't know the total facts here. 

Yes sorry, just to add that was exactly the case.

Sorry I didn't say that clearly in the story.

Joe said he would not have played in the game without his father's blessing. They talked about it and reached that decision together. Joe 100% would not have played otherwise.

Joe Dumars was always a class act.

[bello_man09]

I will miss his 1 for 10 shooting.

and his 4 dimes and 4 rebounds and Zero Turnovers.

[footey]

Will need PP minutes again tonight. Ime will have to minimize his time on court with Butler.

[MarcusSmartFanClub]

Who, you are using an anecdote that isn’t even relatable. You can say good bye to your father and make peace with it before he dies. Helping your wife during a pregnancy is way different. I was put to work in 2019 for my daughter’s birth.

Also, these athletes are more committed, not less, than the athletes of the past. Look at their bodies. Not too many slow guys dominating these days.

[celticsclay]

I do wonder, if he did play, would there be a thread bashing him for being a bad dad/husband, or would we all be praising him for sacrificing for the team?

Not from me. I personally think Gordon Hayward made a huge mistake staying in the bubble. He missed the birth of his first son - a son he talked openly about wanting - and what does a have to show for it? Nothing.

Wait the son died? I didn’t read this. That is heartbreaking. Can’t blame him for wanting to leave Boston after that. Never recover from something like that.