Need some help. Advice needed.

[indeedproceed]

I've given this advice before here in one incarnation or another, and I will give it again in the form of a list:

1) Delete her number, delete her from Facebook, take down everything in your living space that reminds you of her (within reason..don't throw the puppy in the trash or anything). Unfollow her from twitter, Instagram, anything that will allow you to Internet stalk her. Also anything that will allow you to real-life stalk her. Get as close to a wholesale cleaning as you can. After 6+ years, that's going to be impossible, but get as close as you can, even if it means some tough choices. If she asks about it, tell her that you don't think you can get over her any other way.

2) Take a few days and lick your wounds.

3) But not too many days. Stay active. When in public, pretend you're okay. It's easy to slip into melancholy and full on emo-indulgence. RESIST.

4) Be social, but don't be weird about pretending like its fine to go places you know she'll be, especially if alcohol is involved. But be as active as humanly possible . Play lots of pickup, go out for pizza. Anything to stop yourself from wallowing after those first couple of days.

5) Don't allow yourself to be petty. Don't engage in grapevine communication, and if you can, don't talk about her at all except to your most trusted of friends. You've spent the past 6 years devoting a lot of your life to her, and it's a fine line between love and hate, it's easy to re-purpose those good feelings and attentions you used to get by interacting with her into bad feelings and arguments, RESIST.

6) Keep on pretending you're okay, keep on being a good guy, engage in a rebound or two, pretend that you're just living your life like it doesn't phase you. Eventually, you will be okay, you'll be unsullied by crappy breakup drama, and those rebounds will transition into healthy emotional relationships.

7) Get yourself into the best shape of your life. Feeling good about your appearance and by default, feeling good about yourself will make every single thing I outlined above easier.

It's gonna be tough, but you'll get through it.

i dont agrree with this


u put years in with her
break ups to make ups

Method Man made me buy, not napster (when that was a thing), not just copy the CD, buy straight up buy every album be made after Tical 2000 because of that song. Plus D'Angelo's solo album.

dont think about what u need to do..jus do it

See for me, this worked out terribly. I didn't think about it, and just kinda did whatever. Led to lots of drinking, and not the good kind, lots of missed classes, lots of bad late night phone calls, and even 1 or 2 old-fashioned postal letters. It wasn't til an old safe gave me basic wisdom I put above that I started to move forward.

1) dont delete her from your facebook
just delete your account
cause im sure you got friends that are her friends
that will only keep that drama rollin

"she told me what happen"...thats all u need to hear from one of her girl friends..who take her side anyway

This is great advice, and if you can go this far, do it.

2) dont go out when ya really not feelin it
 you must sort it out in yourself...no one but you knows want your goin thru.."it will be ok"...at this time dont work..get that inner strength

3)understand its life..
we go thru things
it will make ya or break ya..

It's like I said before; for me this didn't work. Maybe I live inside my own head too much, maybe that's just me, but for me, the best thing that happened was when a friend was just sick of me being a morose piece of hot garbage, and decided to make sure Insaw the light of day.

[McHales Pits]

WeMadeIt17 -

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. Never fun to deal with and I have been there (broke up with GF of 5 years a few years back) and I know how you are feeling.

Unfortunately without knowing the specific details of your relationship and how the breakup went down - it is difficult to guide you one way or the other regarding letting her go for good or holding out hope that you will get back together one day. Lets face it...women are some of the most fickle creatures on the planet. They are difficult to read and understand and yet they expect you to be able to read their minds. During breakups, some women will want space (code for she wants to explore other options) and others will say "you didn't chase after me".

The best advice I can give you is to try to lead a normal, active life to keep your mind off of it. Stay off of social media (it will drive you crazy the first time that she posts a photo where it looks like she is having fun or is with another guy). Instead, make plans with friends to do new things. Don't just go to a bar, get drunk, and talk about her to your friends. I mean go do something new. Indoor rock climbing, fall golf, beer tasting events, concerts, bike riding, hiking, etc etc. it is normal to need some alone time to "grieve" personally, but don't let it define you. If she sees that you are leading a normal, happy life and not sobbing on your couch in sweatpants with 14 days worth of facial hair growth - then you win.

Cheers mate...keep your chin up.

McHP

[LarBrd33]

I had a rough 3 year relationship from age 19-21. Then I created an online dating profile and went out on dates with easily over 100 girls over the next 7-8 years.  It's crazy easy to meet girls that way.  Eventually, I figured out what I actually was looking for in a partner and found someone I actually got along with.

So... feel free to create an online dating profile.  If you live in a densely populated area, you could have a date later tonight.  If you live in a secluded farm in a tiny town of 50 people, it might be a little more difficult.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81BjS3k_FZ8

[TheTruthFot18]

It would help to hear exactly why it fell apart (possibly one sides fault?). This can help with the accepting the phrase "if you love it let it go etc."

Fighting can be a (good) bad sign. It means you at least cared, especially after being together that long. I actually find it very strange to see the couple that "never fights". Just not normal.

Luckily you are young and in the prime years as a guy. But ya keep your head up