Author Topic: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?  (Read 907 times)

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I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« on: November 16, 2018, 04:24:20 PM »

Online Monkhouse

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I personally really like animals, and dogs especially. So I recently moved in with some people, but the landlord is a couple that my friends recommended (if you followed my last thread with my previous roommate, this is A HUGE STEP up from that,) and at the time, I knew they had dogs, but they both were very sweet and quiet.

There are two dogs, one is a female Jin-do which is a traditional Korean dog, (we'll call her Anna), the other is Yorkshire terrier mix with something else, and he's about three years old and a lot smaller, maybe 8-10 pounds, (we'll call him Joe). She was supposed to be sent to the slaughterhouse and my roommates rescued her. She is very quiet, and extremely shy due to being abused. Since she is pretty big for one year dog, she exhibits and displays dominance over the smaller dog.

Joe barks, and growls a lot, he also gets extremely jealous along with clear signs of crippling anxiety and abandonment. He was rescued as a pup, apparently the home owner found out his dog had given birth and tossed the puppies into a bush, and some passerby heard cries and found them.

When I first moved in, Joe would sneak into my room, and steal my things like socks, food I left behind, and he took one of my favorite pair of shoes. He has the knack for being able to push my door with his body to open it. To prevent this, I now have to lock my door every time.

He is very clingy, and I think he has clear signs of separation anxiety, (which I don't understand because one of the roommates girlfriend works at home and he always lays next to her.) He likes to sit between people's legs, and has a tendency to try to hump Anna. He also has this weird infatuation with eating feathers, something my roommates have been upset and angry with. They have definitely hit and punished him physically. I've seen them do it in action, which is probably what compelled me to do what I typed below next..
__

This is where this gets a little tricky.

DISCLAIMER: I feel like a huge jerk, and I still regret this. So people if you feel the need to insult or demean me, go ahead. But just letting you guys know I feel awful, and I still think about what I did to this day.

2 months ago, my roommates decided to go out to a trip to Myrtle Beach. They took Anna, because she gets way too nervous when her owners aren't there. So one day, it was just me, and my other roommate. My other roommate has been a tenant there for a year, so the dogs are comfortable around him. Joe kept whining all week for my other roommate to let him sleep with him. So I noticed that my roommate probably wasn't home, so I let Joe sleep in my room. As I dozed off, but woke up to see him tearing apart both of my pillows and feathers were flying all around the room.

In a fit of rage, I scolded him firmly, to which he growled and showed his teeth, and I told him, "Joe! Look what you did!" It seemed that he didn't seem to care or showed submission to me, so I poked his head twice. The second time I did, he bit my hand very hard that I immediately started bleeding, and without thinking, I smacked the dog back. I'm pretty sure I got him pretty good, because he yelped really loud, and started showing immediate signs of submission. (Tail tucked behind legs, whale eyes, and lowering his body while licking me constantly, and whining.)

I felt really bad, and I couldn't help but think what a piece of !@#$ I was. Nowadays, whenever I see the dog, he sometimes runs up to my door whenever I open it, and sometimes he doesn't. I have noticed lately that whenever I pet him, he seems very scared. He shows me clear signs of submissive behavior and displays signs of cowering or licking his lips a lot whenever he's close to me. Whenever I make eye contact, he immediately averts eye contact, and yawns when he's close to me.

It's very weird, because he'll follow me around the house, and is always excited to see me when I open the door at home from work. He'll run up to me when I sit on the coach or squeeze between my legs when I'm laying down. But there are times where he shows me that he's really scared of me, and I feel awful.

I don't particularly like the dog, because he is very clingy, and is the strangest dog I have ever been around. (He was always strange even before I put my hands on him.) But I still feel horrible for what I did, and have no idea how to go from here.

I know I should give him space, and leave him alone while trying to give him treats to build up trust.

I thought about taking walks with him, but the owners don't have flea medicine, plus he's a stay home dog that has been acclimated to staying indoors, even though I can tell he gets jealous whenever I walk Anna.

What do you guys think?


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Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2018, 04:36:53 PM »

Offline SHAQATTACK

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Well,  a simular thing happened with our first dog 35 years ago.   The dog reacted to my stern command by showing her teeth .  I knocked her silly , no blood or broken bones   I was down on myself for a long time and wished I did not do it .  Time healed all and improved the relationship 100 %,  each situation perosn and animal and breed
is unique .  I now believe i might have actually done the correct thing for that dog.  NEVER EVER did she show an hostile attitude toward me or anybody .  She was only 1 or so.when it happened  Basically i set the pecking order set straight with that over reaction of mine .  She loved me dearly for the next 14 years,  never did i even speak loud to her .  She became my loyal and trusted friend.   Dogs do this in the wild , they fall into a pack structure . She understood loud and clear who top dog was.  You re in her home and thats harder situation  , but being an adult human you need to establish your place ..one above the animals if going to live there....thats difficult with somebodys elses home and animals..  .  It was a learning experience,  treat it as that. don't dwellon negitive thoughts   Don 't be timid ,be  strong, but show  strength though kindness.

Dogs want you make up ...its a pack thing ,  they are at ease knowing where they fit in.   Sounds like , it was not clear with the dog that you are above its pay grade and command the respect.   You are now in the position above hime and have the ability to allow a make up to occur. .  So make up and make best of the situaion till you can get your own crib and dog.  I would discussit with the owner and explain yo need their sopport to  Respect they give you ....WILL be noticed by the dogs.....and they recognize this power input

Once your there long enough ,  you ll become more respected as part of the pack.   

Dogs read every emotion , and can react to sudden movements , sligjt tone difference in voice ,  your emotional state.....they react to alot of subtle inputs . 

The easiest way to survive is to work at being friends daily , not just once in a while ,  make effort to be happy around the dog or postive .  They sense negativity or if you are worried o upset.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2018, 06:36:40 PM by SHAQATTACK »

Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2018, 04:47:50 PM »

Online Roy H.

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I’m not opposed to reasonable corporal punishment for children, so I certainly don’t judge for people who use it on their dog in appropriate situations.

The only judgment I have is that it was somebody else’s dog. 


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Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2018, 04:58:50 PM »

Online Monkhouse

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Well,  a simular thing happened with our first dog 35 years ago.   The dog reacted to my stern command by showing his teeth .  I knocked him silly .  I was down on myself for a long time and wished it did not do it .  Overtime , each situation perosn and animal is unique .  I now believe i might have actually done the correct thing for that dog.  NEVER EVER did she show an hostile attitude toward me or anybody .  She was only 1 or so.  Basically i set the pecking order with that over reaction of mine .  She loved me dearly for the next 14 years.   So dogs fall into order easier than others in the chain of command .  It was a learning experience .  Imexpect it will,be for you too. 

Dogs want you make up ...its a pack thing .  So make up abd make best of the situaion till you can get your own crib and dog.

I see, the dog was still very submissive even before I hit him. I'm 100% sure that the roommates hitting him for eating the feathers, and never walking the dog has led to him to become anxious and extremely clingy. Plus the other dog coming into his life, and completely stealing everything, and being more dominant probably made him submissive.

But what I'm getting from your response, is that the dogs need to see who the pack leader is? So I set an example, and now he knows that I'm the alpha? I didn't want to be perceived that way by force, which is why I'm trying to find what I can do to fix that.

I’m not opposed to reasonable corporal punishment for children, so I certainly don’t judge for people who use it on their dog in appropriate situations.

The only judgment I have is that it was somebody else’s dog. 

I do agree, which is why I felt bad. I mentioned this to my roommates, the owner of the dog, and while they were a little upset, they understood that I didn't mean to injure the dog.

I'm just trying to figure out the best way to regain the dog's trust.
"I bomb atomically, Socrates' philosophies and hypotheses
Can't define how I be dropping these mockeries."

Is the glass half-full or half-empty?
It's based on your perspective, quite simply
We're the same and we're not; know what I'm saying? Listen
Son, I ain't better than you, I just think different

Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2018, 05:28:06 PM »

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 Wouldn't give it another second of thought personally.

Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2018, 05:33:27 PM »

Offline gouki88

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Honestly, you didn’t do the wrong thing really. If a dog bites you telling it off tends to do little. You don’t want to him in the face, because (besides the obvious cruelty) it conditions them to thinking they’ll be hit anytime they’re patted. But a hit to the rear is generally a good way to dissuade the behaviour.

It’s understandable that you feel bad though. Hell, I feel bad if I accidentally step on my dogs foot. I think the best course of action is to try and be affectionate towards the dog now, so that it doesn’t think you hate it.
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Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2018, 05:42:56 PM »

Offline Celtics4ever

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Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill.  What you did was react to being bitten that does not make you a bad person.  Same thing happened to me, once and I hit the dog as a reaction.   I have only been bitten twice in 50 years and dogs generally like me.   Both times I was bitten by poodles which I avoid now to prevent stuff from happening.

Sometimes our actions are instincts is what I am trying to say.   The dog bit you hard and you reacted.

Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2018, 05:44:48 PM »

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Honestly, you didn’t do the wrong thing really. If a dog bites you telling it off tends to do little. You don’t want to him in the face, because (besides the obvious cruelty) it conditions them to thinking they’ll be hit anytime they’re patted. But a hit to the rear is generally a good way to dissuade the behaviour.

It’s understandable that you feel bad though. Hell, I feel bad if I accidentally step on my dogs foot. I think the best course of action is to try and be affectionate towards the dog now, so that it doesn’t think you hate it.

 Wouldn't give it another second of thought personally.

Yeah... Not gonna lie, I definitely smacked the dog in the face, and honestly pretty dang hard. Initially, after he bit me, it sort of hurt, but I was more in shock at getting bit, and how much blood was pooling, and already dripping onto my bed sheets that I sort of saw red. Like I said, I have no excuse for what I did.

What course of actions would be recommended to regain trust?
"I bomb atomically, Socrates' philosophies and hypotheses
Can't define how I be dropping these mockeries."

Is the glass half-full or half-empty?
It's based on your perspective, quite simply
We're the same and we're not; know what I'm saying? Listen
Son, I ain't better than you, I just think different

Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2018, 05:47:11 PM »

Offline Neurotic Guy

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I’m not opposed to reasonable corporal punishment for children, so I certainly don’t judge for people who use it on their dog in appropriate situations.

The only judgment I have is that it was somebody else’s dog.

Well I think Monkhouse’s point was partly that the “corporal punishment” he applied wasn’t reasoned and measured, it was angry and impulsive.   Thus (I think) this why he feels so bad, and perhaps why Monkhouse seems worried that the dog was traumatized by the hit. 

I’m not judging and have no idea what you can do — other than try, over time, to show him that it won’t happen again.  But it does sound like a dog with some problems to begin with. My daughter owns a rescued dog — and despite years with her, the dog is still skittish— has some probably permanently ingrained neuropathways that won’t change.

 You’re a good guy for caring.  Good luck.  Sounds like a dog psychiatrist might be a good investment by the owners.

Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2018, 06:03:25 PM »

Offline gouki88

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Honestly, you didn’t do the wrong thing really. If a dog bites you telling it off tends to do little. You don’t want to him in the face, because (besides the obvious cruelty) it conditions them to thinking they’ll be hit anytime they’re patted. But a hit to the rear is generally a good way to dissuade the behaviour.

It’s understandable that you feel bad though. Hell, I feel bad if I accidentally step on my dogs foot. I think the best course of action is to try and be affectionate towards the dog now, so that it doesn’t think you hate it.

 Wouldn't give it another second of thought personally.

Yeah... Not gonna lie, I definitely smacked the dog in the face, and honestly pretty dang hard. Initially, after he bit me, it sort of hurt, but I was more in shock at getting bit, and how much blood was pooling, and already dripping onto my bed sheets that I sort of saw red. Like I said, I have no excuse for what I did.

What course of actions would be recommended to regain trust?
In terms of specific actions I’m not too sure, but general warmth and physical affection is for the most part good for dogs. Not sure how else to approach it
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Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2018, 06:08:51 PM »

Online Roy H.

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Quote
You’re a good guy for caring.  Good luck.  Sounds like a dog psychiatrist might be a good investment by the owners

What is a dog psychiatrist? 


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Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #11 on: November 16, 2018, 06:14:04 PM »

Online Monkhouse

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Honestly, you didn’t do the wrong thing really. If a dog bites you telling it off tends to do little. You don’t want to him in the face, because (besides the obvious cruelty) it conditions them to thinking they’ll be hit anytime they’re patted. But a hit to the rear is generally a good way to dissuade the behaviour.

It’s understandable that you feel bad though. Hell, I feel bad if I accidentally step on my dogs foot. I think the best course of action is to try and be affectionate towards the dog now, so that it doesn’t think you hate it.

 Wouldn't give it another second of thought personally.

Yeah... Not gonna lie, I definitely smacked the dog in the face, and honestly pretty dang hard. Initially, after he bit me, it sort of hurt, but I was more in shock at getting bit, and how much blood was pooling, and already dripping onto my bed sheets that I sort of saw red. Like I said, I have no excuse for what I did.

What course of actions would be recommended to regain trust?
In terms of specific actions I’m not too sure, but general warmth and physical affection is for the most part good for dogs. Not sure how else to approach it

Yeah it's pretty tough, as I mentioned before, the owners do not WALK the dog nor does Joe even play fetch, and constantly growls and barks when you touch his stuff, not to mention that whenever I pet him, the other dog also gets jealous and will literally push the dog out of the way.

I will find other methods or toys/treats then.
"I bomb atomically, Socrates' philosophies and hypotheses
Can't define how I be dropping these mockeries."

Is the glass half-full or half-empty?
It's based on your perspective, quite simply
We're the same and we're not; know what I'm saying? Listen
Son, I ain't better than you, I just think different

Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #12 on: November 16, 2018, 06:20:02 PM »

Online Monkhouse

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Quote
You’re a good guy for caring.  Good luck.  Sounds like a dog psychiatrist might be a good investment by the owners

What is a dog psychiatrist?

While Cesar Milan is well known for his 'Dog Whisperer,' TV show, he's more in line of what they call dog psychiatrists, or 'Animal Behaviorist.'

They figure out the root of the problem behind issues/fears, and fix them with positive reinforcements/treats/tricks.
"I bomb atomically, Socrates' philosophies and hypotheses
Can't define how I be dropping these mockeries."

Is the glass half-full or half-empty?
It's based on your perspective, quite simply
We're the same and we're not; know what I'm saying? Listen
Son, I ain't better than you, I just think different

Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #13 on: November 16, 2018, 06:26:04 PM »

Offline Hank Finkel

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The dog bit you.  If there is no consequence to biting the dog will keep doing it.  So it will understand a smack if it bites and hopefully wont do it again.  It’s not like your smacking the dog for no reason.  I wouldn’t think about it another second. Myself,  I would still be p---ed the dog chewed up my stuff and bit me even after i smacked it. 
« Last Edit: November 16, 2018, 06:33:26 PM by Hank Finkel »

Re: I hit my roommate's dog, and I feel awful, what should I do?
« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2018, 06:26:18 PM »

Offline nickagneta

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I wouldn't worry about it Monkhouse it was a natural reaction to violence on your person. Whether it be an animal or human, if someone or something attacks you its human nature to defend oneself and fight back.

I do have to say that the dog is not being treated properly for anyone to expect poor behavior from the dog. Dogs need exercise, especially athletic dogs and natural aggressive breeds. Even a Yorkie is a terrier and needs to be exercised every day. The reason he is destroying things is he has so much spent up energy and is acting out to release that energy. Exercise is the snswer.

Also, walking the dog will give the owner a much better way to show the dog who is boss and how to behave based on commands and how to interact with other dogs and people. A properly walked dog that's trained with a lease gets very confident and acts out very little. I would also recommend getting a kennel crate, a place that is just the dog's where they can sleep at night or be in when everyone is out of the house. Lastly, trying to train a dog by hitting it in the face is not training, it is abuse and like people, the dog can become scarred and act out via biting, urinating, or become terrorized. Well, humans won't urinate but you know what I mean. Also, a few professional training lessons go a long way.

 

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