Making assumptions based on the color of ones skin is stereotyping. Using one's power to act on a stereotype to discriminate or oppress is racism. There is a lot of misguided thinking that folks in America do which others may classify as racism -- but these are often the building blocks of racism rather than racism itself. I think the distinction matters because most of us have the potential for racist behavior because we actually do have some measure of stereotypic assumptions based on race and ethnicity -- but our value systems hold us back from actions of conscious oppression. I don't think anyone would disagree that "white privilege is wrong", but I think many would disagree with the notion that it doesn't exist in America. Of course, in a country of 360 million people there are many POC who have privilege, and many whites who (based on other factors mentioned in this thread) don't. The question is whether, when taken as a whole, we can isolate race as being a factor, in and of itself (even though it is ALWAYS mixed in with other variables), that influences opportunity or privilege, or their polar opposites.
I don't make that distinction. To me, when you collectivize a group of people and cast aspersions on them, based on the color of their skin, that is inherently racist. Other groups, outside of the white population, have experienced great success in this country (Asian and Jewish People). So it is difficult for me to take the notion very seriously. In my summation, it is a term used to absolve one of personal responsibility. It's like, "Oh... Well that is why I didn't make it, this white privilege thing really kept me down". Well no, actually it's because you didn't graduate high school, or you had a kid before you were married, or you didn't get a job. Any job. In fact, The Brookings Institution has spent a great deal of effort studying this issue, and they whittled down a lot of analysis into three simple rules. You can avoid poverty by:
1. Graduating from high school.
2. Waiting to get married until after 21 and do not have children till after being married.
3. Having a full-time job.
If you do all those three things, your chance of falling into poverty is just 2 percent. Meanwhile, you’ll have a 74 percent chance of being in the middle class. So the United States is a meritocracy.
Equal opportunity based on skin color is as elusive as "full employment". We all know that it can't really happen -- people are influenced by physical appearance in various ways and we can't just take that out the equation. When I was in high school, I knew twin sisters who were both talented artists and musicians -- seeming remarkably equal in their skills. One happened to be beautiful; the other, not so much. Do you think their opportunities were equal? They weren't. One was always front and center, the other not so much. The front and center one was noticed and offered scholarships, jobs, and social opportunities while the other fell behind.
Well, I don't know the different elements behind this anecdotal example, but I would imagine there is a little more to the story than attractiveness. I get your overall point though, it's tough to argue that there isn't a "Beauty", "Well Dressed" or "In Shape" privilege. But that benefit would apply to all races.
I think most of us would accept that equal opportunity is an imperfect ideal -- just as most accept that 4% unempoyment is pretty much considered full employment. I think most of us are OK that some people get more breaks than others, and that privilege happens. Where I think the big question rests isn't that inequalities exist, it's when inequality is so blatant and clear that something needs to be done to correct the injustice -- even if the solution sounds ugly or unfair. There are times when hiring a talented female over a talented male -- simply because she's female, may be acceptable. There are times when hiring an African-American who has potential, but is behind in skills compared to a white job competitor perhaps due to a culturally-deprived background, may be the right thing to do. I am not saying that a society, or an industry, should make these decisions lightly, or base them on anecdotal circumstances. But sometimes disparities tell us something ugly about ourselves and it's possible that we can become better as a people if we act as assertively to repair the injustice as we did to create it.
Would you care to unpack why the NBA, NFL, NCAA has such a disparity of players of African American heritage? Wouldn't the culturally-privileged have better facilities, coaches and well supported children in two parent households? Or why Asian Americans are the highest wage earners in the United States?