I always find some of the trade ideas on here where the other teams' assets are wildly undervalued to be amusing. So I decided to hop into that mindset and see if I couldn't wrangle up a few banners on the broken backs of other franchises.
Trade 1- RJ Hunter and the Dallas Pick to Indiana for Paul George. --- To do this, we would have to convince Bird that he has been a sleeper agent this entire time for Boston. We would also have to convince him that RJ Hunter is just like him, and under his guidance he would blossom into the next Larry Bird.
Trade 2- Kelly Olynyk and some 2nds to Cleveland for Kevin Love and Delly. ---For this to work, lets just go straight to Lebron as we all know who wears the pants in that city. The conversation would go something like this “Hey LBJ, whats up man? Here your son is gonna be a baller. Anyway look Love is way too soft and only you get to cry to the refs. So want Kelly? He straight ripped Loves arm out of his socket, and Love eventually accepted an apology. Between you and me Kelly has started demanding his teammates refer to him as Psycho K. Deal. Oh, throw in Delly because it rhymes with Kelly and we are good to go.”
Trade 3- Everybody not named Smart and Crowder (hes undervalued everywhere but Boston anyway so I don’t think that’s the deal breaker) and all the Nets picks/first rounders we have the next few years for Boogie. ---This is allowed to occur because DMC finally tells Ranadive that his weird obsession with Boogie is creepy and if he loves something he needs to let it be free. Kings get back some high risk/reward prospects and Sully along with what feels like 10% of the Leagues draft picks the next 4 years.
FA Signing 1- Kevin Durant –- I Know this is a long shot at this point, but upon seeing the mega team assembled Durant pulls a Lebron and heads to the Frozen Beach.
FA Signing 2-etc –- Javale Mcgee first and foremost. Not to play basketball, but to be Lucky the Leprechaun. If that doesn’t help put bodies in the seats on a cold night in the middle of February I don’t know what will. We also sign some people to fill out the bench, high quality veterans. Also bring Pierce back so he will get more rings. Oh and Sim Bhullar. He’s just huge, so he can stand there.
Alright that seemed like a lot. New Roster would be:
PG- Smart/Delly SG- Paul George/Crowder/Bench depth SF- Durant/Pierce/Bench depth
PF- Love/bench veteran C- DMC/Colton Iverson/Sim Bhullar
Celtics go 73-9 Next year, Brad officially becomes the next Popovich, and Danny Ainge begins smoking cigars rolled out of Billy King’s contract before the second half of each game. Oh and he has a pimp chalice for water.
Celtics win five titles in a row, and the World Implodes due to a lack of NBA parity.
All kidding aside, I am excited for the Celtics future because we are arguably the most flexible team in the league. We could keep this rebuild going in so many different ways, and that is such an entertaining thought.
Also Thank You Celtics Blog. I only found you a few months ago, but seeing other like-minded Celtics fans has helped keep me sane. Your presence serves as a nice distraction from the hell that is medical school here in Upstate NY.
So Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays Celtics Blog, I hope my tirade brought at least a smile to your face.