I've got this:
K-Mart Demarre Carroll--Jae Crowder
Basketball embodiment of Napoleon Complex--Isaiah Thomas
The overrated Ohio State star--Evan Turner
The other overrated Ohio State star--Jared Sullinger
Pint-sized super-defender who can shoot now--Avery Bradley
Brash 21-year-old who is expected to lead team--Marcus Smart
Versatile low-usage combo forward who plays center--Amir Johnson
Rookie who won't play because they have 11,000 guards--Terry Rozier
Rookie, might play--RJ Hunter
Rookie, won't play--Jordan Mickey
Former All-Star that Golden State had to bench to win a title--David Lee
Whatever Kelly Olynyk is--Kelly Olynyk
James Young . . . ? James Young
One of the Zellers. No, not that one. The other one--Tyler Zeller
JEREBKO--Jonas Jerebko
WORLD'S MOST POPULAR COACH--Brad Stevens