Preemptive Reasons for the Lottery Being Rigged---Get Creative

[Nerf DPOY]

So we all know the lottery was rigged last year so as to orchestrate Lebron's return and the Love trade. Of course, I recall reading on Real GM some posters who basically guaranteed one or both of Boston/LA would be in the top 2, because you know, it's good for the league when the C's and Lakers are successful and the NBA rigs lotteries after all.

Oh well, guess the powers that be saw fit to elevate Cleveland to the top of the league for whatever the reason, as they also fixed it the year before. I don't understand why, as there were no obvious stars at the top, and I saw mock drafts the day of the draft that had Alex Len going #1. Also if Stern, or the Illuminati, or whomever is behind these evil deeds wanted to compensate the Cavs for the fallout from 'The Decision', why not fix it so they got Anthony Davis in 2012? Oh right, they needed NOH to draft Davis so as to sell the franchise. I remember now, though if NJ had landed #1(their pick was top 3 protected IIRC) that would've been a case of the league trying to help boost the Nets as they moved to Brooklyn. As it unfolded, that didn't happen though. They probably knew King would've traded the pick on draft night for a 35 year old making the max.



So enough of this historical revisionism stuff. Time to look to the future. I think it would stand to benefit to get out ahead of this, and start conjuring reasons for why every team would be favored no matter the outcome. The more ridiculous and nonsensical the better. I implore others to help me out as I don't consider myself as all that creative or someone who thinks outside the box. You can probably guess by reading this that I don't make for a very impressionable conspiracy theorist.

So it's pretty much a given that
Knicks
Wolves
Sixers
Lakers(or Sixers again)
Magic
Kings
Pistons
Nuggets
Jazz are lottery bound.
Then I'd say Phoenix and Atlanta(via Brooklyn) are safe bets to be in there. The rest are on the bubble currently.

 I'll try to get the ball rolling. The Hawks are up for sale, and a top 3 pick would only further cement their outlook as a team destined for years of success to prospective buyers. See, I told you I wouldn't be funny or good at this. I will end on a joke though. Stern may have shaved his mustache in 80's, but he saved it and put it on in secret just to twiddle it when he and his cronies hatched their schemes.

[Quetzalcoatl]

Stern just stepped down to create the illusion that he isn't a puppet master right now.  Lizard people are so sneaky.  I think that Brooklyn-->ATL or the Lakers will end up with the #1 pick, ugh.

Simmons keeps saying that ATL is going for $1 billion plus.  I imagine if they had the #1 pick it would increase the sale price a couple hundred million.  You're probably onto something there.  Anyways - ha TP