Okay, seriously, why all the love for Asik? Yes, he's tall and a good 'rim protector' going by the statistics, I'm assuming, but he has no offensive talent, is a terrible free throw shooter, and isn't a passer. If you're going to be inept offensively but special defensively, you had better be a pretty good to great passer, imho, so that you don't end up like Perk.
As far as Carmelo, I'd love to see him go to Chicago (anywhere but Boston, really.) just for the entertainment value, alone. Imagine Thibs trying to get Melo to play defense haha.