Proper Etiquette On Inviting Bride's Brothers to Bachelor Party?

[JSD]

Alright, So I'm the best man at my brothers wedding and in charge of the Bachelor party. He wants the whole 9 yards including strip clubs. He requested that I didn't invite his future brother in-laws who are also ushers in the wedding.

I feel like not inviting them makes me look like a jerk, but my brother doesn't want them. What do? Thoughts? Questions? Help.

[BballTim]

Alright, So I'm the best man at my brothers wedding and in charge of the Bachelor party. He wants the whole 9 yards including strip clubs. He requested that I didn't invite his future brother in-laws who are also ushers in the wedding.

I feel like not inviting them makes me look like a jerk, but my brother doesn't want them. What do? Thoughts? Questions? Help.

  Make conditional backup plans for the wedding date. I'd guess not inviting the bride's brothers to the party will go over like a lead balloon.

[staticcc]

It's your brother's bachelor party and wedding. If he says do not invite them, do NOT invite them. I promise you, just follow what he says.

[Celtic]

Don't invite them. When it comes to weddings, my rule of thumb is don't be a problem for the bride and groom, plenty of other people will be.

Who would you rather disappoint, your brother or the people that will be his future family.

For the weeks leading up to a wedding the bride and groom are the boss, their attendants are their employees, your boss is telling you not to invite them, so don't invite them. In the end it's on him anyways.

[McHales Pits]

It's your brother's bachelor party and wedding. If he says do not invite them, do NOT invite them. I promise you, just follow what he says.

Bingo.

It purely depends on your brother's relationship with his future relatives. Sometimes - a groom can feel comfortable in that situation. Sometimes - they can't. If he said no go - then no go. If they ask, say that he just wanted to do something small with family or deflect the questions to him. If that's what he wants, he should be prepared to face the heat.

I don't blame him. I don't plan on inviting my girlfriend's brother to my Bachelor's. Won't Christmas with the fam be weird after he sees me going wild at a strip club/bar/club/casino. Maybe - maybe not. But I'd rather not chance it.

[Quetzalcoatl]

The answer that nobody is going to say and what is actually going to happen is this:

Your brother will mention that the invitation list is getting made to his fiance
If she really doesn't want you going to strip clubs, she won't say "don't go to strip clubs," but she'll say "make sure my brothers get invited."
Your brother won't be able to say not to the bride for a wedding related thing, then he will tell you to invite them.  I am guessing this will happen within a few days.

If it doesn't happen, then it means she doesn't really care.  If that is the case, as long as the brothers are cool, it doesn't matter if they go.  It's really up to your brother at that point, though.

[Casperian]

Take one for the team and look like a jerk. I do it all the time. It's your brother, after all. 

[Neurotic Guy]

Every situation is different.  For some families this would be a big deal, for others, it will mean nothing.  If your brother says no, then you have to trust his judgment as pertains to his relationship with his future in-laws and with his wife-- you can't overide him.   

Some brides would not want their brothers involved in their fiance's bachelor party.  I didn't want strip clubs, etc. at my bachelor party -- but also didn't want my future in-law there (and it had nothing to do with not liking him).  Fortunately my wife didn't care and in fact would have been anxious/stressed if her brother had been involved.  It's all personal preferences and your brother (hopefully with agreement from his fiance) gets to make the decision. 

Edit: I would (as I'm sure you have) discuss with your brother and let him know how you are feeling and then go with his decision.  That's all you can do IMO.