LeBron James Isn't Human, And At Some Point, We're Gonna Look Stupid.

[indeedproceed]

Lowe's piece features multiple video clips of the SportVU system in action, and they are as oddly hypnotic as they are informative. Here's one depicting a play from a recent Raptors-Knicks game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sq_Z6Um3UM

The blue circles are Knicks players, the white circles are Raptors players, and the grayed-out circles are "ghost" Raptors. These ghosts, according to the SportVU's complex measurments, are playing perfect defense from ideal positions on the floor. In other words, the ghosts represent how the perfect model of a Raptors defense would be moving at each precise moment during the play.

Of course, each clip Lowe shares with us shows the ghosts far outpacing their real-life counterparts. This is no serious knock to Toronto's defenders: Real basketball players are imperfect humans who can't always make flawless, split-second decisions based on dozens of factors, and ghosts don't get tired. But it isn't the case when LeBron is involved:

Ultra-aggressive help defense is really hard work. Replay that clip and watch how far DeRozan's ghost has to move as the Knicks swing the ball. That's brutal, and it's not a coincidence that the only team that consistently mirrors the help defense of its ghosts is Miami, Rucker says. The Heat have three of the best wing defenders in the league in Shane Battier, LeBron James, and Dwyane Wade, and the latter two are among the NBA's most gifted pure athletes. James can mimic DeRozan's hyperactive ghost in a way no other player can, Rucker says. "LeBron basically messes up the system and the ghosts," Rucker says. "He does things that are just unsustainable for most players."

LeBron James is better at playing defense than the idealized version of an NBA defender, as conceptualized by an analytic system that factors in everything from the precise positioning of every player on the floor to the individual skill-sets of the players involved on a given play. LeBron James is not fair.

LeBron James is so hyper-athletic and has such endurance that he outpaces the COMPUTER-PERFECT Model.

For some reason, this was my straw that broke the PED's back. LeBron James cannot be human.

[AB_Celtic]

Are you saying we're going to look stupid for thinking he's so good when (if) he was on PED's the whole time?

[GreenFaith1819]

Yep...LeBron James isn't human.

That's why it will be SO SWEET once we beat him and his team in the playoffs.

Headlines to follow:

"Boston Celtics stop the Invasion from MIA."

Details:

At around Summer of 2010, a meteor crashed into the MIA region of Florida. While no injuries were reported, out of the meteor climbed a 6'8" 250 being that called himself (itself?) LeBron James.

While taking to other Earth delights like ice cream and apple pie, this being REALLY took to basketball - and developed an OBSESSION with it. He promptly joined the MIA Heat, and began his domination of the NBA landscape.

No one could stop him, and has stopped him. None of Earth's best defenses or weapons have any effect, apparently....

UNTIL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rsy_bfaZ_I

This NBA Basketball Team calling itself The Boston Celtics have stepped up to answer Earth's Call. This team has overcome many obstacles during this conflict with the inhuman LeBron, and believe, RIGHT NOW, that we have him/it in our sights.

Earth has a chance.

During this most recent conflict, this team named BOS was missing a HUGE component of their weaponry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INZ3hJjW0w4

This "Kevin Garnett" as he calls himself, was reportedly resting and recovering from previous conflicts. When asked why Earth's last defensive wall vs this inhuman LeBron was not active, the team's leader, calling himself Doc, stated:

"Our Big Weapon, called "Ticket" is recovering. While we realize that Earth needs this weapon to turn back Inhuman LeBron, Doc stated that while we may lose SOME battles....the "WAR" will be won.

When pressed by reporters as to "When" Earth will overcome the conflict called LeBron, Doc calmly responded - "In May or June of 2013."

Earth can breathe a sigh of relief. We have a chance.

[j804]

TP GF

 

[PhoSita]

I'm 100% convinced LeBron, Wade, and Dwight are all on, and / or have been on, PEDs.  Probably HGH.

[CelticConcourse]

Nah. He's stoppable.

Nobody said it would be easy.
Go Cs!

[Bahku]

Spam reported.

[KGs Knee]

Spam reported.

TP! 

[CelticConcourse]

Spam reported.

Ahahaha! TP!

[fairweatherfan]

Spam reported.

Ahahaha! TP!

There really was spam here earlier, but this does look pretty funny now.

[vgulab]

LeBron is not human, the guy who lost 2 finals already ? Than what is Michael Jordan ?

LeBron is great player but the Heat have some flaws and are beatable. I don't know if Celtics can beat them but if they don't than i'm sure all of us will proudly say 'Man they gave a good try'

[StartOrien]

Questions for the OP -

Are you in fact suggesting that Lebron James is a cyborg? Or some type of half-man, half-robot? If so, what do you think the percentage is? Do you think he's capable of love, or at least understanding companionship? Do you suspect that maybe he's also an extraterrestrial? Or part robot-part extraterrestrial a la transformers? If so, do you think he's a decepticon?

Thanks in advance.

[StartOrien]

The saddest part of this all is that they claim to have a computer perfect program, yet still decided to resign Demar Derozan to 9 million a year.

[indeedproceed]

Questions for the OP -

Are you in fact suggesting that Lebron James is a cyborg? Or some type of half-man, half-robot? If so, what do you think the percentage is? Do you think he's capable of love, or at least understanding companionship? Do you suspect that maybe he's also an extraterrestrial? Or part robot-part extraterrestrial a la transformers? If so, do you think he's a decepticon?

Thanks in advance.

Great questions. I wouldn't say my own accusations are limited to just him being a cyborg. Yes, he could have mechanical organs including but not limited to eyes, arms, and legs, but I don't like to pick all my hens in one chicken, you know? I'm saying he could be an alien outright, an alien/human hybrid, perhaps the product of some government experiment, maybe gamma rays are responsible? Vampire? Teen wolf?

I don't know. I know he's capable of love, basing that one his own thirst for validation. 

I don't think he's a decipticon, because he doesn't seem wicked stupid and dumb. Transformers don't seem to be very smart.

[indeedproceed]

The saddest part of this all is that they claim to have a computer perfect program, yet still decided to resign Demar Derozan to 9 million a year.

That's pretty hilarious.