It is I, LarBrd33... Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. It might not be apparent to you now, but you are actually currently living in the darkest of timelines... a land where Evil Troy and Evil Abed roam freely. In this timeline, the Heat storm back from down 3-2 to take this series (the Celtics choking like they did against Orlando in 2009 and Lakers in 2010), LeBron and the Heat hoists the first of his 7+ NBA championships, KG and Ray retire at the end of the season, Avery Bradley and Jeff Green never amount to anything, We use our cap space on the likes of Chris Kaman... Rondo blows out both ACLs and the Celtics spend the next 15 years toiling away in lotto hell.
In the alternate universe, the Celtics successfully trade Ray Allen for OJ Mayo. They successfully trade Paul Pierce for an expiring contract and the Net's top 3 protected pick. Both trades happen about a week before the deadline. What follows will blow your mind.
March 12, 2012... one of Mayo's first games in Celtic green. A freak collision between OJ and Chris Paul results in Chris Paul being carried out in a stretcher. Thankfully he'd be fine long-term, but it causes him to miss the remainder of the regular season. The course of history is forever changed. Both teams have their seasons fall apart. The Celtics (12th worse record) and Clippers (10th worse record) fail to make the playoffs. Initially this is seen as a disaster of sorts... the Celtics likely to miss out on receiving the top 10 protected pick owed to them by the Clippers. Little did we know...
As mentioned, Derrick Rose manages to avoid injury in the 2012 playoffs... a Rose-lead Bulls team blasts through the playoffs... sweeping the Heat in the ECF and making quick work of a red-hot Memphis team in the Finals.
Lotto night: Despite only having 12th best (.7%) odds of their own pick landing 1st, The Celtics improbably win the Anthony Davis sweepstakes... this causes the Clippers pick to move backwards one spot (11th) and fall into Boston's hands. The Nets pick (also owned by Boston from the Pierce trade) ends up 4th in-part, because a disgruntled Paul Pierce spent the majority of his time in New Jersey in street clothes with a phantom knee issue.
The offseason was a whirlwind of franchise-changing nuttiness. Boston takes Davis 1st. They take Michael Kidd-Gilchrist 4th. Surprising nobody, the Celtics select Austin Rivers with the 11th pick.
Still not content, Ainge makes the ultimate power play... trading Rajon Rondo, Avery Bradley, JaJuan Johnson and OJ Mayo in a three team trade that nets the Celtics Dwight Howard.
With his some 35+ mil in remaining cap space, Ainge offers Deron Williams a near-max contract. Dwight HOward promptly agrees to a long-term extension. Ainge convinces Kevin Garnett to return to the Boston on a significant pay-cut as a tutor/mentor to Anthony Davis, Dwight Howard and the new Celtics. Ray Allen, fresh off his half-season in Memphis agrees to return to Boston as a back-up. With plenty of money left over, Boston manages to sign Jeff Green and take a flyer on Greg Oden.
Boston trots out the following roster on opening day:
PG - Deron Williams
SG - Austin Rivers/Ray Allen
SF - Michael Kidd-Gilchrist/Jeff Green
PF - Kevin Garnett/Anthony Davis
C - Dwight Howard/Greg Oden
Mid-season, The toiling Brooklyn Nets... lead by the distraught Paul Pierce, agree mid-season to buy out their disgruntled veteran. Boston, still retaining some cap space, promptly bring Paul and reform the Big 3 (mostly utilized as back-ups and mentors to their young counterparts for the next 4 years). Rivers, Kidd-Gilchrist, Davis and Oden go on to surpass every expectation imaginable for The Celtics... win the next 17 championships in a row...
I will say, a couple years into the dynasty, the eventual Dwight Howard + Jeff Green for Kevin Durant trade seemed to catch everyone off guard... even moreso than the follow-up trade of Deron Williams for (now able to shoot) Rajon Rondo and the signing of Kendrick Perkins as a backup... but at that point it was pretty clear that Greg Oden was going to be the franchise center for the long-haul... so nobody really complained...
Such a shame we aren't going to experience that.
