How to host better meetings?

[Employee8]

Ugh, another bad meeting courtesy of myself.  So you know how the stereotype goes that engineers tend to have very bad social skills?  Well, it looks like I'm one of them.

With friends and family, I'm fine.  I can stay involved in conversations and even start up some of them.  But when it comes to hosting meetings at work (I'm a project manager), the meetings are so awkward.  I am terrible with introductions, terrible with getting the whole thing to flow.  I get really nervous beforehand and I have different ways to try to get my nerves down.  I practice my introductions and I write out my agenda but when the time comes, my brain fizzles out and I'm unable to stay on track.  Even when others are talking, I'm too busy listening because I'm thinking of what else to say after they are done talking.  And when they're done, I don't have anything to say, except just move on to the next topic.

Ugh, I'm just not good at this.  I'm not sure if I should try a career that doesn't include interaction with people when it comes to professional work.  Or if this is something that takes practice.  I'm 25 and just hosted 2 meetings for the first time ever, and they both sucked.

Any tips on how to run better meetings?

[indeedproceed]

Sounds like something that can be cured with decent doughnuts, good coffee, and more experience.

EDIT: I've got experience with presentations where I do almost all the talking, very little with a real exchange of information between multiple parties, but in my presentations, if there are more than 5 people there, a trip to dunkin doughnuts beforehand makes things go a lot smoother.

[jgod213]

Yeah as IP said, aside from buttering up some folks with treats, in the end it's gonna come down to experience.

My job requires me to occasionally conduct meetings in an almost adversarial way (essentially auditing) with people who have been "in the business" for ages longer than myself.

I started off pretty rough, but after i was forced to keep doing them i eventually became more comfortable...when i became more familiar with what i was reviewing I became more confident in my own perceptions - and thus my ability to relay them to others.

I'm about to turn 27...i was exacly where you are at at 25.  Eventually these awkard memories will become comical looking back, just keep at it and you'll be fine!

[bdm860]

I'm 25 and just hosted 2 meetings for the first time ever, and they both sucked.

I would say don't worry about it.  Most people start off rough at first.  If you said you were 35 and have hosted hundreds of meetings, then I might worry, but being young and 0-2 is nothing to stress about.

My advice is to jack things from other people's meetings that you like.  Pay extra attention to a meeting you're not running, and if you see something you like, take it and use it.  Or try to sit in a couple of meetings you're not involved in and just observe how the meeting flows.  You'll get more comfortable in time.

Not sure if this is possible, maybe you can try to ask somebody to help you out, where you control the powerpoint and they do most of the talking.  And you can chime in here and there, and also handle the questions.  Then as you do a few presentations, and get more comfortable, gradually increase the amount you talk until you're doing the whole thing.  Or an alternative of this is to get a hype man, just get someone to do the intro and go over an outline, and close things up, while you still handle the meat of everything.

A couple of things I hate (but everybody is different so take this with a grain of salt) is icebreakers and people who ask for answers to obvious questions.  People try to use icebreakers to go around the room and get everyone more comfortable, but I think they just make things more awkward, and if my day is already super busy I hate wasting 15 minutes of a meeting on something pointless. I have work to do!

And it's always awkward when you ask for an answer to what's essentially a rhetorical question and nobody responds. "Who in here wishes things were done more efficiently?"  Then all you hear is crickets.  Don't ask questions and wait for answers, because it gets awkward when there's silence.  Instead of asking a question, give them the answer.  "I know we all wish things could be done more efficiently so..."  I've seen a lot of people ask for answers to obvious questions and then end up crashing and burning when nobody answers lol.

[cltc5]

turn the meeting into a situation where it's broken into talking points.  break the team into groups, have them discuss the talking poiints then have each group assign a presenter of the information.  You can post the i=Instructions on an overhead or get creative and post it near the coffee and donuts and have them read it when they come in.  As part of the instructions indicate there will be a timer and have it displayed and goin on the overhead when they walk in.  You're basically relegated to fielding question about the assignment and supervising the flow of the groups.  Very little talk on your end and the same thing gets accomplished.  Plus its interactive so it encourages collaborative effort and breaks the monotony of sitting and just listening.  Try it and see how it works at least.  Good luck

[FatKidsDad]

Running a meeting is a skill set all of its own.  If you don't have the skill set (yet) find someone who does and get them to act as a facilitator.  If you are in a large company, chances are there are trained facilitators on board.  Check with your boss, HR or a colleague.

The facilitator's role is to manage meeting process.  That way you are free to concentrate on what your strength should be...content.

As time goes on, you'll learn a few tricks and get better at it.

You could also look at taking a course on meeting facilitation yourself.

[Greenbean]

Im a 26 year old engineer so I can relate.

I am in an environment that forces team interaction on a daily basis so I have quite a bit of experience in a relatively small amount of time.

It is important to feel comfortable with your peers so be sure to mix in some small talk prior to the meeting starting.

It makes everyone a little more relaxed before getting into the matters at hand.

If you are hosting, create an agenda but make sure it is not too detailed. That way you will not fixate on the words in the agenda. It should serve as a thought jogging timeline.

It sounds like you are focusing on yourself and your words in the meeting and not so much on the interaction of the other people.

Try taking notes and absorbing everything that people say. I find that taking my time and processing everything is more productive than reacting to every word being spoken.

It is your job to spark conversation and obtain information for decisions.

If you are more worried about delivering a presentation, the only way you can get better is with practice and training. There are plenty of worthwhile presentation courses out there that colleague's of mine swear by.

[D Dub]

i had to leap similiar hurdles as a PM at that age in my career.

A couple tips-
1) schedule on quarter afters (9:15, 10:15 etc).  That extra 15 minutes helps your attendees show up prepared (and off their phone/email during your intro)

2) include agenda w/ meeting invite.  prepare PPT slides that drill down on agenda items

3) don't read your PPT slides.  Present data and speak to it, no one likes being read to.

4) Listen aggressively & take notes.  As the PM, you don't have to have provide answers on demand.  Your skill is knowing who will have the answer, and making sure they are in the room when questions arise
 
5) Always follow up with Minutes, calling out Actions and Action owners that resulted from the discussion you stimulated.  In follow up meetings, get status of previous Actions from their owners.

6) If someone de-rails the discussion mid-meeting, offer to "take offline" so you can continue with planned agenda

As a Project Manager, you want to rack up more assists than baskets.  Think Rondo-type-facilitation by simply presenting issues and having the right experts dunk the ball home.

Oh, and IP is right --- food bribing helps.  I'm a big fan of the 'Lunch Provided' mtg if I have lots of stake holders for a new kickoff project.
  

[Edgar]

Ugh, another bad meeting courtesy of myself.  So you know how the stereotype goes that engineers tend to have very bad social skills?  Well, it looks like I'm one of them.

With friends and family, I'm fine.  I can stay involved in conversations and even start up some of them.  But when it comes to hosting meetings at work (I'm a project manager), the meetings are so awkward.  I am terrible with introductions, terrible with getting the whole thing to flow.  I get really nervous beforehand and I have different ways to try to get my nerves down.  I practice my introductions and I write out my agenda but when the time comes, my brain fizzles out and I'm unable to stay on track.  Even when others are talking, I'm too busy listening because I'm thinking of what else to say after they are done talking.  And when they're done, I don't have anything to say, except just move on to the next topic.

Ugh, I'm just not good at this.  I'm not sure if I should try a career that doesn't include interaction with people when it comes to professional work.  Or if this is something that takes practice.  I'm 25 and just hosted 2 meetings for the first time ever, and they both sucked.

Any tips on how to run better meetings?

36 years engineer and Project Manager for Worldbank for 6 years
I will tell you this

As engineer you usually will know everything all people is talking about


Just have to learn how to  stop thinking and start listening

Let them talk the talk worry about a nice order of participation

work your agendas a little more

and Let them do the talking and you worry at the end on making memories and writing all important stuff to make everyone clear at the end what are the results of the meeting and the compromises, never forget the compromises

Work based on a PAD and have fun

Dont be that serious but dont be a clown, ajoke from time to time or a smile always work.

Delegate.

Delegate as much as you can and trust

Delegate food bringing thats NOT your job

Delegate Presentations thats NOT your job but check them twice before meeting

Find nice places to make the meetings Confortable but nos distractive
and NOT normal office.

[hwangjini_1]

i slave away as a director of an international program at a major university and meetings are a way of life for me. (my record? eight in one day!)

i find that short, focused meetings are THE best way to go. NEVER substitute meetings for a social life.

my suggestions are:

1. SEND OUT THE AGENDA - pass out the agenda out at least a day or two BEFORE the meeting. stick to the agenda during the meeting.

2. PURPOSE - welcome everyone, then immediately announce what the meeting is about at the start.(i.e. the agenda you sent out.) that is, quickly state why the hell everyone sitting there and what you hope will result from the meeting.

3. FOLLOW UP - at the end, wrap up with a clear question/statement on what is to happen next. too many meetings simply end and no one knows what the take-away is. when this happens things tend to NOT get done.

clearly establish who is to do what and when next. sounds simple, but this is crucial and often forgotten.


also, the suggestions above are all excellent - especially food. dont feed people meals, but give them credible food to snack on. a couple of suggestions that will be tasty and grap attention include:

- prepared fruits such as sliced apples, pineapple, strawberries, etc.

- cookies/cakes from korea. really! go to a local korean store and ask for the cake/cookie section with things such as "coco pies" and "tiramisu." they come individually wrapped, are cute, tasty, and different. people will love them.

good luck and keep the meetings short and focused.

[Employee8]

Thanks everyone.  It's definitely something challenging for me, and it sounds like it's something I've got to simply work on over my career.  For the record, the kick off meetings were on teleconference so that was tough as well.  I do much better with interacting in person.  But yes- agendas would definitely work.  And I've just got to relax a bit more.

I'm printing out this thread- and circling the Rondo reference!  Haha, thank you again.

[Kiorrik]

A lot of what I wanted to say has already been said by others, so I'll just add this:

Keep your mindset right. It's not about you, it's about "a group of people working together". You're NOT there to entertain, to make friends or to please them. You're there to get stuff done. It's business.

And don't be afraid to ask the same of the employees/clients attending the meeting: they too are there to get things done.

One thing I've noticed is that good meetings are not necessarily led by people with great social skills, but rather by people that know how to delegate. Try to talk about what lies close to you, and let others speak about their own work. That way, you talk less, and others get a chance to get involved as well.


Hm. I typed more than I thought I would :p

[Kiorrik]

Ps.: great topic :]

[Redz]

Active listening suggestions are good ones. 

[Neurotic Guy]

Some great advice here. I'll add the following:

If you have regular meetings with a regular group, establishing meeting norms, preferably collaboratively, will help.  If you are uncomfortable facitlitating such a discussion, establish some basic norms for the  group in the interest of efficiency and effectiveness such as, start/end on time,  avoid tangents and side bar conversations, have a clear agenda with item timeframes, establish meeting outcomes, and have a decision recorder (preferably not you if you are facilitating). 

I find that beginning with end in mind (think about what will be accomplished if this meeting were successful) helps me to develop a relevant agenda and allows me to check my outcomes out with the team at the beginning of the meeting.  Also, allows me to ask at the end of the meeting if we achived the desired outcomes.

Have the recorder do 2 things: 1. record decisions and 2. record action items (who does what by when). 

A review of last meeting's action items becomes the first agenda item for your next meeting (and holds people accountable for their tasks). End each meeting with a review of action items and a quick reflection of whether the meeting accomplished desired outcomes. 

Last point -- people like you are the best! You care about doing a good job and you are open to self-reflection.  No one could reasonably expect a 25 yo engineer to have all the skills needed of an experienced meeting facilitator. You were hired to be an engineer!  But you are open to learning, and that is what will make you great. 

In my work I am often facitlitating team meetings and then handing off faciilitation to others -  MANY people simply do not have good facilitation skills.  But there is a certain science to it. And there is an art to it.  The 'art' of facilition can be natural gift, or comes in time with effort and experience.  I have a feeling you'll get better and better at it.