If I were Titlemaster Rockefeller, I'd bring home a championship

[TitleMaster]

Here's my alternate reality ...

My name is Titlemaster Rockefeller, I'm a naturally born billionaire who earns a dividend (&/or cap gains) income of $500M-$1B per year with no added work, whatsoever. Thus, I don't need to grow either my family's banking, energy operations, or tech centers to sustain this level of cash flow.

For any B-ball player, who comes to Boston for Vet's min, I will give him an LLC partnership which will pay him an annuity of $10M per year for every year he plays in Boston with a retirement pkg of $500K/yr (w/ inflation adjustments) for the rest of his life.

Thus, Ainge will be able to sign at least 5-6 all stars to his roster and we'll win multiple championships.

Since I'm neither a manager nor an owner of the Boston Celtics, this will not affect the luxury cap.

[mqtcelticsfan]

In this scenario, the Celtics are promptly penalized worse than any team in the history of organized sports, and your parents cut you off for life.

[Eja117]

You wake up in a ditch looking like Darth Vader without the suit and a tattoo on your forehead that says "you've been Sterned"

[TitleMaster]

Fellows, I can go into stealth mode:

It's a Thursday evening, early summer, somewhere in the midwest ...

Kevin Durant is having a juicy Omaha steak, cooked medium-well, with a side of hand cut marinated potato wedges. A stranger appears, he sits across the table from Mr Durant. He whispers to the waiter that he'll have a Dry Martini.

KD: "Ah, Mr Rockefeller, what brings you here, away from all that activity? I presume you're still working on merging a few trading houses."

TR: "Well Kevin, work is work, and it seldom ends. Companies rise, companies fall, and today, everything is global anyways. It's nice to take a break from the London-New York-Singapore shuffle, once in a while."

KD: "I'm guessing that you're not here to talk about b-ball, sir?"

TR: "Well Kevin, for the first time you're wrong, it's always been about the game for me. And yes, being from Boston, outside of M&As, b-ball's the only game for me. It's something you never outgrow."

KD: "Yeah, yeah, I know all it ... the Russell-Havlicek-Bird thing. It's been thorn in Mr West's side, since he first started GM-ing in the league."

TR: "True, and you know, it's still possible for folks down the road to be a part of it."

KD: "Danny can't make the room."

TR: "Of course not, that's usually the case. Yet, you know what, despite it all, my firm's liked your work and what you've got to show. Here's something to ponder on, as you get ready for your last season, this year."

Titlemaster then slides a cashier's check, encased in an air-carrier dossier, to Kevin Durant.

Durant slides the check open, it reads $1,000,000 USD, along with a pamphlet/details for a private jet company.

TR: "Just a token of our appreciation; so whenever you're on the eastern seaboard, just give the man on the form a call, he'll pick you up, fly you to wherever you want, and we can discuss some more. Enjoy the offseason."

[indeedproceed]

I saw this movie, it was called 'blue chips', and Shaq was awesome.

[Redz]

Steinbrenner reincarnated as a Celtics fan?

[Lucky17]

I saw this movie, it was called 'blue chips', and Shaq was awesome.

Forget Shaq. Cousy stole the show in that movie.

[TitleMaster]

A Federal Grand Jury investigates a racketeering/collusion between the Boston Celtics organization and Titlemaster Global Conglomerates ...

Prosecutor: "Mr Ainge, what can you tell us about Titlemaster Rockfeller?"

DA: "Well I can see that he's in Fortune magazine a lot."

Prosecutor: "Mr Ainge, may I remind you that this is a court. Please refrain from making rhetorical remarks."

DA: "Yes sir"

Prosecutor: "Where have you seen Mr Rockefeller, outside of the financial press?"

DA: "Last I recall, he was hosting a stag party at the TD Garden, a private gathering for his New England based executives, after a Celtics game"

Prosecutor: "What were you and him talking about"

DA: "Sir, I'm a religious man, I don't attend stag parties"

Prosecutor, now shaking his head, dismisses Danny Ainge from the stand.

[esel1000]

you should write a book

[LarBrd33]

Here's my alternate reality ...

My name is Titlemaster Rockefeller, I'm a naturally born billionaire who earns a dividend (&/or cap gains) income of $500M-$1B per year with no added work, whatsoever. Thus, I don't need to grow either my family's banking, energy operations, or tech centers to sustain this level of cash flow.

For any B-ball player, who comes to Boston for Vet's min, I will give him an LLC partnership which will pay him an annuity of $10M per year for every year he plays in Boston with a retirement pkg of $500K/yr (w/ inflation adjustments) for the rest of his life.

Thus, Ainge will be able to sign at least 5-6 all stars to his roster and we'll win multiple championships.

Since I'm neither a manager nor an owner of the Boston Celtics, this will not affect the luxury cap.

still will get swept in the 1st round.  No center.

[TitleMaster]

It's a misty afternoon in western Mass.

Dwight Howard is completing a yoga session while stretching his shoulders with some Martial Arts/Jeet Kun Do moves for strength and loosing. He's at a five star spa/resort, typically used by Amherst-Northampton New Agers for their pseudo-mysticism. He'd arrived here by private charter, only a couple days ago; it was a place recommended by Kevin Durant's pilot though Dwight couldn't figure out why it was so far up north.

Dwight takes seat, not too far from the pool. A lady arrives with his power drink smoothy; she's wearing a tuxedo piece on top, with a Brazilian thong, down below, to complete the attire.

Maid: "Would you like your massage, Mr Howard?"

Howard, nodding and smiling

DH: "Give me an hour"

At the corner of the eye... a helicopter lands in the patch, near the complex. A man steps out and walks towards Dwight Howard.

DH: "Well, Mr Rockefeller, out in the countryside for some fresh air?"

TR: "Yes Dwight, the air out here is quite refreshing."

DH: "Planning to spend some time, the women here are quite ravishing."

TR: "Well, I do have to go back to Boston for business so perhaps, another time. Would you like to come to Boston?"

DH: "You know, Danny's only talking mid-level exception. I don't know, doesn't sound solid to me."

TR: "Sure, that's the way the ball bounces in the league. But here's a thought ... how would you like to have a place like this to hang out, all of the time, when you're not playing?"

DH: "That would be sweet"

Titlemaster drops a pair of keys and an envelope by Dwight's table.

TR: "The place is all yours. I'll be seeing you around. Let's keep in touch."

Titlemaster leaves the premises and the helicopter is soon seen leaving the area.

Dwight opens the envelope, in it the name of the Property Management company with Dwight Howard listed as the principal.

[indeedproceed]

Titlemaster Rockefeller is either gonna lose a bunch of free stuff he's giving away, or he's going to face incredible sanctions from the league. Also, maybe both.

[Fafnir]

Titlemaster Rockefeller is either gonna lose a bunch of free stuff he's giving away, or he's going to face incredible sanctions from the league. Also, maybe both.

Definitely both.

The second an agent gets a sniff of this and puts together how much money he's losing because of it its over.

[Redz]

Redz thinks Titlemaster should scrap his NBA dreams and start up an AndOne type of team filled with handsomely rewarded former street prodigies who can float like a helicopter and sting like a professor.  On this squad he should feature an overweight 6 foot 43 year old who has some quality low post moves.  

[TitleMaster]

Titlemaster Rockefeller is either gonna lose a bunch of free stuff he's giving away, or he's going to face incredible sanctions from the league. Also, maybe both.

Definitely both.

The second an agent gets a sniff of this and puts together how much money he's losing because of it its over.

Folks, this is my lunch money 

Apparently, none of you folks know what a 'Master of the Universe' is.

It's not like I'm handing over my currency swaps, ownership of Gazprom &/o pipeline companies, my defense equities, or my precious metal deposits.