Alcoholism( need help)

[rondohondo]

Ok so this might put my posts into question ha, but I think I really need help....

has anyone here been through any addiction ? I just really can't seem to make it through the day without getting some kind of high .

I don't mean to be a bummer , but have tried many things and can't seem to stop. AA definitely isn't for me as I am not a sociable person ...

I don't know what else to do and thought this would be the best anonymous way to get my problem out there

I feel like I am killing myself, I  need help outside of AA ,anyone have any ideas?

thanks for any words of wisdom anyone has.....

[Eja117]

Have you seen a psychiatrist? If you aren't sociable and feel anxiety, it's possible that you may be appropriate for something like ativan.

It could help, but it won't solve your problems or cure you. It could give you help in getting through an AA or NA meeting

[Eja117]

If you have any specific triggers trying to reduce them (or eliminate them) is a good idea.

[Roy H.]

I've never had addiction problems myself, but I know plenty of people who have.

From what I've seen, AA definitely seems to be something that has helped for a lot of people.  When you say you're not social, what do you mean?  Is it the large group aspect that bothers you?  Do you not want to share your story?

I actually was required to attend AA clashes due to alcohol-related probation I was on in college.  They were a bit different than I was thinking.  Have you tried them?

Another route is individual therapy.  If you've got decent insurance and/or some money socked away, this may be a good option.  Find a therapist you're comfortable with, but not somebody who is going to enable you.

Have you thought about the reasons why you drink?  Are there triggers, or is it a craving?  Do your family and friends know you're struggling?

I'm not always great at advice, man, but the #1 thing to keep in mind is that this is nothing to be ashamed of.  Lots of people have struggles, and recognition of the problem is a huge first step in getting help.  I hope you're able to get some useful advice on here.  Best of luck to you.

[Eja117]

rondohondo...I drive lots of people to drink.  I can change!

[2short]

This is a more common problem than you think so instead of keeping it inside trust AA or another support group.
The main thing is you notice something isn't right, most alcoholics and drug dependent people run themselves right into the ground and never realize that isn't normal behavior or care to change.  Is your drinking affecting your home life, work and social life?  Not sure what point you are at with the drinking.

[indeedproceed]

AA doesn't work if you don't get clean. It takes a strong man to walk into a meeting wet and come out dry. Most people fail, fail again, and continue failing, even through their successes. That's why recovering alcoholics, even those years sober, will continue calling themselves 'drunks'. Because they know, the right push here, right break there, they're back out there.

My old man just got 3 years sober this past December. I remember the first time I took him to detox, the nurse told me 'lot of times it doesn't stick at first'. I never gave up, and I never let him give up on his family and the people who lOved him. The nurse was right, it didn't stick the first time, but it stuck eventually. Just don't give up man.

[Fan from VT]

Very common problem. You're situation is unique, but you are not alone. If you are thinking of hurting yourself, I would suggest checking in at the local hospital. They can ensure your safety in terms of self harm as well as oversee a safe detox process. Depending on where you are, they will also likely set you up with appropriate counseling and services (and possibly some diagnostic guidance in terms of anxiety or depression with appropriate therapies/medications, maybe even with enough time to have such therapies begin to take effect) in place at the time of discharge.

PM if you want.

Good luck.

[rondohondo]

Thanks for the support guys, it really does mean a lot to me.

Yea I suppose my drinking/ marijuana use has a lot to do with depression and anxiety, I really do feel akward in most social situations. At first I started getting high/drunk just so I could function and interact with people,but after doing it for years I have found that it has made me more distant in social situations because I don't want to have people see my glassy eyes or smell alcohol on my breath.

I don't know about AA ,I just feel they talk in bumper stickers and say the same stuff I have heard a million times before, but has yet to help me .

I thank you all for your support though, it really does mean a lot to me!

[Neurotic Guy]

You've got plenty of listeners here.  Addiction is insidious and has physical and psychological components that make it difficult to overcome.  With that said, many people do overcome it as I am sure you know.  
One nice thing about AA (and as a socially uncomfortable guy myself, I get why it may not be appealing) is sense that you aren't alone -- others have gone through (or are going through) similar struggles.  

As dumb as this sounds, I do know that the first thing you have to do is to stop getting high.  Whatever it is that gets you to that step, do it.  From there it's about getting the right support, sustaining support, understanding the underlying reasons and functions of your needs, and making practical steps to sustain a changed lifestyle.  Anyone who has undergone purposeful change will tell you it is hard to give up what you know and what has comforted you in the past.  

But it sounds like you know that the drugs/alcohol (whatever) represent a self-defeating pattern for you and that's a pretty profound awareness to have.  Get out there tomorrow and start your quest to find the help you need to stop the self-defeating pattern.  Then work on building and sustaining a new self-advancing lifestyle.  And let us know how it goes because there are a lot of people here who care.

[JSD]

I would like to echo most of the sentiments here and wish you the best, rondohondo. Keep us updated.

[nickagneta]

Often alcoholism and drug addition are just masks towards a larger problem, that being a self medication of a mental illness or condition. If you think AA isn't for you, I would see a medical professional who can steer you in the proper direction. Whether that be to a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist or a assistance group other than AA so be it. I, however, wouldn't overlook at least attempting to go to a few AA meetings and sit in the back and observe. Its not like they force participation in the meeting.

Also, I know from where I speak. I masked mental illness with alcohol and marijuana for decades as they actually helped me to be functional during working hours. This is very common for many. The problem was my denial of a mental illness and I finally got help. Been clean off drugs for a long long time though I do still occasionally have a drink. But maintaining myself is an everyday, every week, every hour thing that you must work towards.

Best of luck and if you need to talk, PM me. I'll be glad to help.

[hwangjini_1]

the first step is to know you have a real problem, not just a "i can stop whenever i want" mentality. honestly, you are 1/4 of the way there since you know you have a serious problem, a very serious problem that kills people.

quite a few alcoholics only wake up when their lives crash and burn, and even then some still dont wake up.

i am an alcoholic and that means i always will be. the craving never goes away really, but you can lengthen the times in between them, at least that worked for me.

for me, i found that changing my everyday habits helped alot. i changed the places i went, my pattern of having fun, lots of changes.

changing the triggers that increase my desire to drink and decrease my "wont power" helps.

for me, it involved having people to support me, not blame or preach. for me it was essential. stopping by yourself is harder than anyone imagines. i supposed a few people do it, but most fail. and by the way, you need someone who wont yield to you "this one time" and let you drink because you have been doing so well, or it is a special day, or a hard day, or it is the third tuesday of the month.   those folks are hard to find.

i could always stop when i wanted, as long as stopping was no longer than a week or so. that proved to me that i could control it. ha, ha....never believe that.

AA helps a lot of people. my good friend was helped by them. for me, less so. AA didnt do it for me, but they did help me see how good i had become at rationalizing my drinking. there may be no one as clever as an alcoholic who needs a drink.  

good luck, but more importantly, listen to others and believe them over your cravings.

the people posting here have great suggestions, by the way.

[arctic 3.0]

Ok so this might put my posts into question ha, but I think I really need help....

has anyone here been through any addiction ? I just really can't seem to make it through the day without getting some kind of high .

I don't mean to be a bummer , but have tried many things and can't seem to stop. AA definitely isn't for me as I am not a sociable person ...

I don't know what else to do and thought this would be the best anonymous way to get my problem out there

I feel like I am killing myself, I  need help outside of AA ,anyone have any ideas?

thanks for any words of wisdom anyone has.....

RondoHondo, I am so sorry to hear your troubles. i got a few things to tell you.
 first off is: man hold your head up, don't succumb to self loathing because you are the only person who can change your situation, all that negative stuff you say to yourself just makes it harder to see yourself as others see you. We see you as a smart, funny thoughtful person, the less you beat yourself up the more you will recognize those qualities in yourself.

Second: I know a lot of folks who've been where you are and made it out the other side. Most succeeded because of the support they received from others. so, whether you are a social person or not, your best bet is the support network AA, NA or another pier support group can offer you.

Third: HANG IN THERE, don't do anything you or your loved ones would regret. please.

PM me if you want to talk further

[Celtics4ever]

AA is faith based too.  You have to believe in a higher power.  If your not religious maybe go to a behavorial cognitive therapist.  This is one on one stuff.  Their are counselors who specialize this in most areas.   You could ask a doctor to give you anabuse it makes you sick if you drink.  Most areas have in patient rehab that offers closed group therapy.  if you feel you need that.

Your half way there as you know you have a problem.  You just need get a plan and to stick with it.   Your past precomtemplation and comtemplation and in the prepartion phase of recovery.  The next phase is the action phase.

Figuring why you drink is important too.  If you can figure out why you can figure out how to stop.  This is how I beat smoking.  I was a social smoker so not hanging out with those peeps for a month allowed me to quit.

I quit booze.   I drank heavy as a young man and I binge drank.   I could drink a rack of german beer in 2 hours that is 24 strong beers nearly twice as strong as American Beer.   I drank 42 beers one day.   If I quit you can bud.  It can be done.  I drank hard liquor too like 40 shots before in day.  I was a functional type of drunk.  I got up and was a good worker.  But even then I had some health issues, scars on my liver, bowel issues and hypertension.  It wrecked my athletic physique.  I went from being a Conan type of lean muscled 6'7" 260 to over 300 lbs and a slob.

You can do this and you have all you need already, your mind.  Don't pick it up ever again it is that simple.  I didn't use AA or any of the above crap I simply decided not to ever do it again.  Good luck.

Deciding to quit is the first step.  YOU CAN DO THIS!