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The Plagiarist and Apologist Pub


Not what I was expecting, but it rocked my world.
This bar is an enigma. As a proud member of my local NOW branch, I should be appalled by the Plagiarist and Apologist pub. There's a lot here that appeals to the Neanderthal sect: Megan Fox surrendering her dignity at the door to serve beer to leering patrons; co-eds playing Beirut in short shorts and halter tops, their bosoms drenched in Stella Artois; the nastiest "food" that you can possibly imagine, all of which seems to be drenched in equal parts grease and ketchup. The lead singer of the Pogues was there, and he blew in my ear, asked for a kiss, and proceeded to vomit on my trowsers. Rather than escort the miscreant out the door, the bouncer instead covered the drunk's leavings with a pile of saw dust, gave me a voucher for a free drink, and guided him up on stage, where he sang a strangely compelling version of The Irish Rover.
Why didn't I leave? I tell myself it was for the Dresden Dolls. Amanda Palmer is the epitome of a strong female artist, and I had to stay to find out what she was doing in this wretched hive of scum and villainy. As she appeared on stage, her face painted like a mime, signing about being molested as a child, I was in heavenly bliss. So sophisticated in her shabbyness, and yet so vulnerable.
Coming off my high from this Punk Caberet Burlesque show, and floating on air after a few two many vodka red bulls and Grateful Deads, I saw the Plagiarist and Apologist Pub in a new light. Sure, it attracts a young, vibrant crowd of local college kids, their nubile bodies filled to delight by tasty libations. However, there's a broader, perhaps sadder, appeal to the PAP. There are the broken heroes of college days gone by, trying to recapture their younger years. There are the newly-liberated divorcees, who scour the beer for young men, all the while reminding Megan Fox that she's "not that hot". There's the urban professional crowd, that seems content to debate politics while partaking in the PAP's excellent beer selections. Oh, and did I mention that that there's Bon Jovi?
I wish I could remember the rest of the night. I vaguely remember catching a taxi, and for the life of me I can't recall the name of the guy who I woke up next to. Still, I felt compelled to immediately post this review to Yelp, and since my paramour's laptop was open next to the bed, I'm posting under his account. -Sandra B.


This place rocks!
Did somebody say morally casual women? This place has them in spades! Plus, bands dressed as mimes, drunken irish dudes, a bartender that looks strangely like Megan Fox, a "sandwich" featuring gyro meat, chicken fingers, and jalapeno poppers, and a bouncer who said he would "profain my remains". What's not to love? But really, what it all comes down to is Bon Jovi + crazy women screaming "The Doctor Is IN!!" + beer pong + red bull.
Also, if you're out there reading this somewhere, I love you, Sweet Sandra.
Drink Menu
Vodka Red Bull
Dr. McGillicuddy's
Grateful Dead
Troubador Obscura
Allagash Black (Bourbon Barrel)
Gritty McDuff's Black Fly Stout
Stella Artois
Maine Beer Company's Zoe
Casco Bay RipTide Red Ale
Bar Staff
Megan Fox
Dan Dority
Entertainment

The Pogues
Bon Jovi
The Dresden Dolls

Drinking Table Games (Beirut, Flip Cup, Beer Die)
Food

"Fat" sandwiches
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Well To Read my Preview you have to go To Page No.1 on this years "Worlds Bartender Magazine"
The Magazine of the Bar Proffesionals

At No.1
PANDACRAZY KUNG FU & ZEN PUB
by BarMeister
World have a New no.1, Ibiza, Cancun Dubai are Old News, Headed by a Madman and Packing a Elite group of proffesionals this years No.1 Heads to the coasts of El Salvador.
It easy to understand why this tropical paradise becomes "mas famoso" by the second.

Welcome to PANDACRACY

Lets start by the door, The name of the Bar gets a New meaning when THE one and only Chuck Norris Welcomes you to this extravagant experience, a great smile under a indestructible Moustache, that makes you feel confy and sure that the capacity of 37,500 people will never be broken and the ratio of 2 girls for each guy will be respected

After that you will find the meeting area
Then you will have two options, heading Right or heading left If you hit the leftie road you will probably have to grab hard your Pilsener beer,
a refreshing delicious experience next to the sea to laugh your lungs off at the comedy show.
featuring
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb61PfRAMW8
Mr. Chris Rock in a massive auditorium.
BUT
If youre musical enough to head right you will find the local band playing a couple of tunes that you might now.
at least I am sure you will KNOW ONE
( Do you got the Joke?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lHDZOJM53Y&feature=related
So theres not only Romance there but all over the place
Their terrace Features arguably the Best Bartender ever existed
and he will be serving Top Notch Long Island Ice Teas, Flaming Cucarachas and scorpion bowls all night long HES ON FIRE



Not to mention the Beer collection is not only made of the excellent Pilsener local beer.
In the bar we are proud to have the only custom made for the bar beer all over Draught
THE ANGRY PANDAis back only and exclusive for Pandacracy
But If youre a knowledge person in beers you might now that THE BEST BROTHER TRUCKER beer in the world could be found at pandacracy
And as BarMeister I am not the one saying this, 2011 Rate Beer and Beer Advocate agrees that THE NO. 1 beer in the worl on 2011
is
WestVleteren12
Next to it the best germans and belgiums of their class

Celebrator dopple

Delirium Tremens
The bar also runs the No.1 selling Beer in the World, and its a proudly sponsor of all the fun going on inside Pandacracy
You can find the Beeer at one of their two dedicated 24/7 Dance Floors featuring the likes of:

TIESTO
ATM
Van Dyke
and DJ Edgar when free night at Sam And Ellas
great food to go with it. For elite taste
The mazing Raw fish and Oysters bar runned by Chef Morimoto himself
TOO MUCH YOU SAID
hahaha, Pandacracys fun its only starting, High Class top ranked show in the world is in the House
Having a very interest alliance with

Pandacracy is the only Pub in earth capable of running simultaneous shows featuring
and of course our old friend the ladybug

to mention only a couple of the multi fun run inside Pandacracy.
Inside this very Elegant enviroment you can find a little something for ALL
Comedy, Rock, Dancing, Magic, Music, Drinking , Great Food, moonlight romance, and Bizarro.
There are no discussion the Best Bar in the Worl tittle is Here and its here to stay for a Long Time.
Now is complete!
Pandacrazy Kung Fu and Zen Pub is the ultimate Experience in Pubbing no matter if you want to have a delicious coctail looking the moon on the terrace and having a delicious chat with Isaac or If you want to see colors dancing tiesto with ladybug.
Pandacracy is the Way to go.
Most likely Bar to:
Be the best in the world
Featuring also their
2011 Summer collection and some late reviw supporting picc









and some egomaniacal promotion of Sam and Ellas

and they even design for other bars
[/img]
The people who gets there becomes happy

Luxury is always there


The interior:


THEY ARE AN ECO FRIENDLY PUB!!


Visit Pandacracy You will never regret!!!
[/quote]
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Stagger Inn? More Like Stagger Out!
Bro, I'm tellin you, this place sucks. I went there on a Friday night, after I just got gotten my swag on. I was smellin right, gelled up, blown out, tanned down, and I had purposefully neglected to properly hydrate, so my biceps looked more ripped up than Rip Torn, knowwhatimsayin? I was out lookin for a girl that was DTF, with a dude who spends his day GTLin. I found out though that the old phrase my grandfather told me was true; 'if you want to laugh with god, plan on it.'
It started out so cool though! A personal hero of mine, Dwayne The Rock Johnson was working the door. Now he ain't as Rip Tornned as I am, but like, my dude, he's huge. So I'm tryin to get in the bar and I tell the Rock that I'm a huge fan. He says that's great, and what was my name. Then, right as I'm about to say my name, he screams "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!". Y'all don't know me or nothin and I ain't the toughest dude around, but I once took 31st in the Rochester NY Tough Man contest, and when I wanna be, I'm brolic as a mother, nah-mean?
So I swallow my rage like I have swallowed my feelings for the way my buddy Rocco looks in his gym speedo, and I cruise in the bar, my mind open like a 7/11.
Inside the bar there were NO strobe lights, NO fog machines, NO generic techo beat I could 'dance' to. I went over to the bar, asked for my Bud Light Lime like I always do (because I figure when I become famous eventually they'll ask me to be a spokesperson or whatever. I think big picture, baby, I do big things!), and this English Harry Potter actin jerk just looks at me and says, 'beer or whiskey?'
I'm like, what? Did he just pretend that Bud Light Lime isn't beer? Then I asked him for a Jagerbomb, cuz you know, Jagerbombs.
Bro, he DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ANY REDBULL. Not even any Monster Knockoff. I'm like my dude, you gotta be kidding me, and he's like 'No, I can assure you, my dude, I'm not. Whiskey or beer?', except since your reading this you don't know I said it like he said in an english accent.
I'm like forget this, then I went out to the dance floor to grind up on some chicks, except nobody was beating up the beat! Its like they never heard of electrical music!
Everything considered, I got to meet the Rock. But this bar sucks, yo.
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ROOM 112 YELP PART 2!


Room 112: Where the Playaz Dwell
I came into Room 112 in need of a drink.
I'm a director. For the longest time, I was treated like a god around these parts. But then, things around here changed. And all of a sudden, the actors weren't working for us, WE were working for them.
"You have to shoot me like this", "I have to say this", etc. The fact is we were taking cues on how to make a movie from people that don't know the first thing about great cinema.
So eventually I had enough. If I wanted to get back to making great pieces of film that I could be proud of something had to change.
So I decided to built a holographic actress that I would superimpose into my movies without letting anyone know it.
And at first it goes great - I'm making movies I love again. Commercially successfully, critically adored! Everything you could want and more! I was BACK, guys!
But then 'the business' steps in and everyone wants a piece of my holographic actress! And it's just too much for me, guys! I JUST WANT TO MAKE GREAT MOVIES.
So I made the tough decision to stop making movies with my holographic actress, forcing me to retire from Hollywood.
So I came to Room 112 looking to just get away, and what a great time I had!
I came in and had (quite) a few Rum & Cokes and told the whole fiasco to Bill Murray, who really could relate to my case. He couldn't have been nicer!
Then after our conversation My Morning Jacket came on and played an incredible set, all their songs, and then a ton of great covers like "Get Down On It" by KC and the Sunshine Band, "Express Yourself" by Charles Wright, and then "Move On Up" by Curtis Mayfield! Then they shared the stage with the Roots and did "Wordless Chorus," "Dear God 2.0" and a whole lotta more stuff!
The beer selection was great! The beef on a stick was surprisingly good, and I had SO much fun playing skeeball horse races (Prince was announcing the races).
But I had to take points off cuz they didn't offer flex-straws:
1.5 stars
Entertainers: The Roots, MMJ, Prince
Specialty Drink: Jameson & Ginger Ale, Rum & Coke, Whipped Cream Vodka & Orange Soda
Beers: Smithwicks, Magic Hat #9, GL Christmas Ale,
Wilco Tango Foxtrot Beer, Coors Light, Sunset Wheat
Bartender: Bill Murray Bouncer: Blade
Specialty Food: Beef on a Stick Activities: Skeeball Horse Racing
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ROOM 112 YELP!


Room 112: Where the Playaz Dwell
I came into Room 112 in need for a drink.
Recently, I had accepted a position at a psych ward for truly challenged patients. Having recently received my Master's from Harvard, I figured I came in thinking I knew everything - but I soon found out that was DEFINITELY not the case!
Upon arrival I was assigned a truly unique case: A man who believed - and who had convinced several of his peers - that he was an extraterrestrial from another planet. I KNOW! I KNOW! But here's what's the crazy part, you guys: He might really have been an alien.
In the following few weeks he displayed some incredible fetes: From strong predictions to the ability to easily solve what I thought were unsolvable equations to some really weird stuff that I can't explain.
Throughout this time he kept stating that he would be departing on July 27th.
My favorite Professor at Harvard, Doctor Howard, once told me to focus in on all the little details. And Doctor Howard, if you're reading this right now, THANK YOU!
Because it was under Doctor Howard's advice that I focused in on the specific date my patient had been citing. And through his tutelage I was able to focus in on that date and figure out that something traumatic must've happened to my patient on July 27th!!! Due to Doctor-Client practices I can't reveal exactly what the resoulution was, but I was right, and finally my patient was at peace!
But then, the strangest thing happened. On July 27th, we found him in his bed: IN A CATAONIC STATE AND COMPLTELY UNRESPONSIVE! Was it just a fluke? Or was he really an alien who needed to find inner peace before returning to his home planet in a second life?! I DON'T KNOW!
Anyways, I went to room 112 - I told bar tender Bill Murray my story while he was serving me a good variety of beers and he couldn't have been nicer. And then Prince showed up and played like a 6 hour set w/ the Roots backing him. That was incredible!
Beer was awesome, beef on a stick was suprisingly great and I had so much fun playing skee ball horse races with Jim James from My Morning Jacket.
That being said, I didn't like that they didn't use more eco-friendly napkins.
I'd give it 2 stars
Entertainers: The Roots, MMJ, Prince
Specialty Drink: Jameson & Ginger Ale, Rum & Coke, Whipped Cream Vodka & Orange Soda
Beers: Smithwicks, Magic Hat #9, GL Christmas Ale,
Wilco Tango Foxtrot Beer, Coors Light, Sunset Wheat
Bartender: Bill Murray Bouncer: Blade
Specialty Food: Beef on a Stick Activities: Skeeball Horse Racing
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The Stagger Inn, Or, 'How I Got My Nose Broke At An Awesome Bar'
I had just broken up with my girlfriend of three years just two weeks before I ventured into 'The Stagger Inn' for the first time. As you can imagine, it was still an open gaping wound. She said it was about personal growth, and space. I said it was about a certain friend she had met at the gym who had an exotic name and artificially bronzed skin. Rico..Chico...I don't know. Something like that. %*@#$.
I had made sure that my outfit was one becoming of an eligible bachelor, because although I am 23 year old and very mature for my age, I have no idea how 'the kids' hook up anymore. I gave that harlot the best years of my life, and what do I have left? Picking up morally casual women at the bar while I try tentatively to pick up the broken pieces of my life.
As I entered the bar I noted the study but worn wooden paneling that encompassed the place like the warm, secure, lover's embrace I once knew. The bar wasn't packed, but for five pm on a Tuesday, it was comfortably inhabited. I sidled up to a bar-stool and took a look around.
The bar area was cozy, a sturdy hardwood construction from the imagination of a young James Joyce. Unlike my tortured soul, the atmosphere was far from dour. A man in the late-prime of life tended bar efficiently, a smug grin efficaciously hiding the hard intensity behind his dark eyes. His glance caught mine and he walked over, asking me in a Manchester accent (I know, because my ex and I spent 2 weeks abroad in the UK) what it was that I wanted. I told him about how I was having a problem filling the hours since Stacy had left me for whichever ex-member of Menudo she was currently dating. I explained that I had been trying to fill the gap with various substitutes; booze, NCIS: Los Angeles, old episodes of Night Court, writing fan-fiction about Judge Reinhold's life, none of it had worked.
The bartender looked at me, and asked 'You know what you can do?' I shook my head, and his hand flashed out like some sort of cobra, striking my at the bridge of my nose. 'You can act like a man,' he said after. He walked away from me and I looked around the room to find quiet sniggers of contempt and furtive glances to greet me. Soon though, the offending bartender came back. In one hand he held a rocks glass with two fingers of dark liquor, while in the other hand he held a pint glass with a dark midnight colored brew, topped by a white frothy head. He set them down in front of me, than tossed me a bar-rag to stop the bleeding on my nose.
'Drink that', he said, pointing at the rocks glass, 'then that' he said, pointing at the pint.
I left the bar sometime around closing, right around when my nose started to really puff out. My female companion didn't seem to mind. I've been back every night since, highly recommended. Great beer selection, best whiskey on earth, and I think at some point Flogging Molly played, but that might have been the jello-shots.
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Shecky's is the kind of place you walk into and say, "Can I borrow a torch?". Everything about the place is like a 3-way lamp on the lowest level - you like it just where it is, but mostly because you're afraid to see what it would like if it was any brighter.
Shecky's is a dive, but it's a dive with a cause. I shutter to even post this for fear of revealing a true hidden gem. The place wouldn't be the same if it became trendy (it's miraculous it hasn't been discovered by more given the frequent unadvertised drop ins by the likes of Neil Young, Pete Townshend, and an occasional rant from comedian Ron White. It's a bit of a two-headed snake. They come because of what Shecky's is (a dingy place to keep it real and do what they love without pretensions).
The first thing you'll notice at Shecky's is a bouncer who seems to be half in the bag. A bearded dude, short and stout, but tough as nails. All decked out in some sort of medieval garb. He carries a scary ass battle axe, but he has yet to use it. He mostly just grunts.
Inside Shecky's, once your eyes adjust, you'll see that beneath the smoke there is an actual comfy bar with comfy seats and a few tables kinking around. A few lounge seats and couches etc...There's a hard wood floor, and a small stage in the corner. There's a lot of music memorabilia - faded concert posters from bartender Tom Waits' shows, and some other pictures etc...There's no real rhyme or reason to the "art" - merely stuff collected over the years affixed randomly around the joint.
If you're there for great service go elsewhere. You will be entertained, and you will be served good stuff, but don't go if you're in a rush. Things move slow at Shecky's. It's not like they're rude or ignoring you though.
The beer and wine selection predictably lean towards the dark and flavorful. Some rich dark beers of the utmost quality and a carefully selected wine list (reds! and only reds). Wines are bold.
Shecky's doesn't do much, but what they do, they do under a consistent theme that simply fits the place. Everything is unassuming, authentic, and excellent. The food menu consists of a few variety of hamburgers with some side accouterments. But [dang] if it's not the best flippin' burger ever. Juicy and full of beefy goodness.
Go to Shecky's and "Drink Your Face Off"
Beers
Newcastle
Old Rasputen Russian Stout
Trappistes Rochefort 10
Schlitz
Harpoon IPA
Smuttynose Porter
Entertainers
Neil Young
Ron White
Pete Townshend
Shots/Mixed Drink
Wine
Courvoisier Cognac
Sweaty Lumberjack
Food
Hamburgers