Author Topic: Pub Experience: Rosters & Yelp Reviews  (Read 9291 times)

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Pub Experience: Rosters & Yelp Reviews
« on: August 25, 2011, 05:29:28 PM »

Offline StartOrien

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Lucky's Bar & Grille

Quote
Lucky17

Beers
Murphy's Irish Stout, Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse
Ommegang Hennepin, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
Red Stripe Lager, Deschutes Seasonals

Entertainers
AC/DC
Eric Clapton
Ziggy Marley

Shots/Mixed Drink
Margaritas, full Bloody Mary bar, Irish Coffee

Activities
The Internet

Bartender
Sam Malone of 'Cheers'

Bouncer
Shaquille O'Neal

Food
Pizza
----------------------------

The Rank & File

Quote
GainsvilleCeltic

Beers
Guinness
Bells Two Hearted Ale
Old Chub
Samuel Adams Black Lager
Golden Pilsner

Entertainers
Wilco
Aziz Ansari
The Avett Brothers

Shots/Mixed Drink
Vodka
Sangria
Sake

Activities


Bartender
Moe Syzlak

Bouncer
Mr. T

Food
Nachos

---------------------------------------------

The Pandacracy Zen & Kung Fu Pub

Quote
Edgar

Beers

Celebrator,Delirium Tremens,Westvleteren 12,Angry Panda,Heineken, Pilsner

Entertainers
Cirque De Solei
U2
Chris Rock

Shots/Mixed Drink
Long Island Iced Tea
Scorpion Bowls

Activities
DJ/Rave/Dance Room

Bartender
Isaac Washington

Bouncer
Chuck Norris

Food
Raw Bar

-----------------------------------------

The Stagger Inn

Quote
IP

Beers
O'Hara's Dry Irish Stout
Racer 5 IPA
Pliny the Elder
Brooklyn Lager
Dead Guy Ale
Wake N' Bake Coffee Imperial Stout

Entertainers
The Black Key
Flogging Molly
The Dan Band

Shots/Mixed Drink
Whiskey
Sex on the beach
Jello-shots

Activities
Darts

Bartender
Al Swearengen

Bouncer
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson

Food
Pub Fries, with or without cheese, bacon, and/or gravy

--------------------------------------------

Room 112

Quote
StartOrien

Beers
Smithwicks
Great Lake Christmas Ale
Magic Hat #9
Wilco Foxtrot Beer
Coors Light
Sunset Wheat


Entertainers
The Roots
Prince
My Morning Jacket

Shots/Mixed Drink
Jameson & Ginger Ale
Rum & Coke
Whipped Cream Vodka & Orange Soda

Activities
Horse Race Skee Ball

Bartender
Bill Murray

Bouncer
Blade

Food
Beef on a Stick Out Of An Aluminum Bucket[/b]

-------------------------------------------------

Donaghy's

Quote
DONS

Beers
Dogfish Head 90 Minute
Stone Smoked Porter
Little Sumpin Sumpin Ale
Spaten Oktoberfest
Metropolitan Krankshaft Kolsch
Miller High Life

Entertainers
Arcade Fire
The Killers
Coldwar Kids

Shots/Mixed Drink
White Russian
Hot Toddy
Lunchbox Shot

Activities
Cornhole

Bartender
Stacy Kiebler

Bouncer
Dalton from 'Road House'

Food
Texas BBQ

-----------------------------------

The Cause & Cure

Quote
Fairweather Fan

Beers
Pabst Blue Ribbon Tallboys
Anchor Steam Liberty Ale
Bell's Seasonals
Avery Mephistopheles Stout
Duvel Belgian Golden Ale
Great Divide Hercules Double IPA

Entertainers
The White Stripes
Pearl Jam
Nickelback

Shots/Mixed Drink
Tequilla
Manhattans
Orange Crush/Other Crushes

Activities
Throwing Rocks at Nickelback

Bartender
Jeff Bridges

Bouncer
Andre The Giant

Food
Cheese Steaks

----------------------------------


Shenanigans

Quote
K WHIT

Beers
Corona Extra
Sam Adams Boston Lager
Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale
Cambridge Brewing Company's Great Pumpkin Ale
Harpoon's Oak Aged Dunkel
Portsmouth Brewery's Kate the Great Russian Imperial Stout

Entertainers
Weezer
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Iggy Pop and the Stooges

Shots/Mixed Drink
Tanqueray and Tonic
Whiskey Sour
Alabama Slammer

Activities
Billiards

Bartender
Brian Flanagan

Bouncer
Jason Stratham

Food
Beef Sliders

---------------------------

Sam & Ellas

Quote
Chicago Celtic

Beers
Miller Lite
Three Floyds Seasonal Beers
New Glarus Spotted Cow
Chimay Grand Reserve
IPA Mikkeller Green Gold
Beamish Irish Stou

Entertainers
O.A.R
Louis CK
Edgar!

Shots/Mixed Drink
Irish Car Bomb
Martinis
Mint Juleps

Activities
Shuffleboard

Bartender
Most Interesting Man In The World

Bouncer
Hugh Hefner

------------------------------

Wallingford Social Club

Quote
Champ Kind

Beers
Moosehead
Yuengling
Leinenkugel's Seasonals (Apple Spice!)
Unibroue's La Fin du Monde
MBC's Flaming Damsel
Three Floyd's Gumballhead

Entertainers
The Rolling Stones
The Muppets
Eddie Money

Shots/Mixed Drink
Jack & Coke
The Old Fashioned
Jager

Activities
TV

Bartender
Jim Thome

Bouncer
Salvatore Giunta

Food
Buffalo Wings

-----------------------------

The Rusty Nail Saloon

Quote
Rondo

Beers
Bud Light
Budweiser
Sam Seasonal
Blue Moon
Saranac Black Forest Ale
The Ithaca Brewing Company's Cascazilla Red Ale

Entertainers
The Zac Brown Band
Billy Currington
Brad Paisley

Shots/Mixed Drink
Grain Alcohol
Fishbowls
?

Activities
?

Bartender
?

Bouncer
Big Black from MTV

Food
Potatoe Skins

-------------------------------

Shecky’s Lampshade Lounge  

Quote
Redz

Beers
Newcastle
Old Rasputen Russian Stout
Trappistes Rochefort 10
Schlitz
Harpoon IPA
Smuttynose Porter

Entertainers
Neil Young
Ron White
Pete Townshend

Shots/Mixed Drink
Wine
Courvoisier Cognac
Sweaty Lumberjack


Activities
Pinball

Bartender
Tom Waits


Bouncer
Gimli The Dwarf

Food
Hamburgers

---------------------------

The Plagiarist and Apologist Pub  

Quote
Roy H

Beers
Troubador Obscura
Allagash Black (Bourbon Barrel)
Gritty McDuff's Black Fly Stout
Stella Artois
Maine Beer Company's Zoe
Casco Bay RipTide Red Ale

Entertainers
The Pogues
Bon Jovi
The Dresden Dolls

Shots/Mixed Drink
Vodka Red Bull
Dr. McGillicuddy's
Grateful Dead


Activities
Drinking Table Games (Beirut, Flip Cup, Beer Die)

Bartender
Megan Fox

Bouncer
Dan Dority

Food
"Fat" sandwiches
« Last Edit: August 25, 2011, 05:45:43 PM by StartOrien »

Re: Pub Experience: Rosters & Yelp Reviews
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2011, 05:42:59 PM »

Offline StartOrien

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Shenanigans
Quote

Farva
Spurbury, VT

So I was down in Massachusetts to pull a killer prank on someone, I put a bar of soap in their coffee, I sure got them good.  When I passed what I thought was my favorite restaurant.

I run inside and I was raging because they had no goofy stuff on the walls and no mozzarella sticks.  I was almost as mad as that time I went to Dimpus burger.  So I waddle up to the bar and yell "Barkeep give me a large Farva!"  This flashy know-it-all short looking dude gives me this death stare and points to the beers they have on tap. So like whatever I order a Sam Smith's Nut Brown Ale, becuase I thought the name was funny.

I'm hungry as usual so I order the beef sliders since that is the only thing they serve.  I wanted my dang cheese sticks!  Then I get this miniature burgers like for a dwarf, I look under the bun and it looked like spit!  So I stood up and started asking for some answers and that's all I remember.  Next thing I know I woke up in a jail cell covered in powdered sugar with a splinters in my head.

This place sucked.

-----------------------------------

I'm putting my menu first as it'll make the review make more sense:

The Cause & Cure

Bouncer: Andre the Giant
Bartender: Jeff Bridges

Entertainment:
The White Stripes
Pearl Jam
Nickelback

Activity:
Throwing things at Nickelback
Food: Cheesesteaks

Beers:
Pabst Blue Ribbon Tallboys
Anchor Steam Liberty Ale
Bell's Seasonals
Avery Mephistopheles Stout
Duvel Belgian Golden Ale
Great Divide Hercules Double IPA

Specialty Drinks:
Tequila
Manhattans
Orange Crush/Other Crushes

Fake Yelp Review:

Quote
Sylvia Plath once wrote, “The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen, and could fall no farther."  It’s a line I’d always liked, but never quite understood.  Until recently.  Because for me, the floor was a little slice of oblivion called The Cause & Cure.

The Cause & Cure is a hard place to find – not because it’s out of the way, but because It’s in the way.  "It" being the bouncer, a massive beast that could blot out the sun, if anyone ever had reason to stop by during those shrill gaudy hours.  He carded me with one giant paw as he swilled from a tequila bottle enveloped by the other.  Flecks of liquor and Cheez Wiz stained a vast expanse of T-shirt branded with the words “Mount Andre”.  He followed my gaze and winked.  “Izz a double nintendo.”  I smiled nervously and began to enter.  “HEY!” he bellowed. I froze and prepared for the end.  “I got your first drink, friend,” he smiled.  I nodded quickly and continued, hearing his emptied bottle crash to the asphalt on a heap of its predecessors.

The bar was more crowded and boisterous than it seemed to have any right to be.  Dim figures flitted back and forth in the darkness, chattering excitedly among themselves.  I didn’t realize it then, but I’d come on a special occasion.  It was Nickelback Dunk Tank Night, where people threw baseballs at Chad Kroeger to try and plunge a bullseye into a vat of cold water.  I winced sympathetically, thinking of how warped and sodden that poor board would be by closing, and moved on.

The bartender eyed me pleasantly as I approached.  An older, genial fellow, he wore a filthy undershirt covered by a ragged old sweater.  An ancient, suitcase-sized cell phone rang incessantly behind him, but he ignored it.  He wiped a dirty rag across a dirtier bar and motioned for me to sit down.  “What’ll it be, compadre?”  I glanced around.  “Surprise me.  But the bouncer says he’s got my first drink.”  The bartender nodded solemnly, quickly filled a pitcher with the darkest, richest beer I’ve ever seen, and disappeared without a second glance.  I heard a delighted roar from the front door, followed by the now-empty pitcher clattering to the pavement.  

The bartender returned, and shrugged.  “It’s a double entendril, man. Real wordsmith, that one.  Really ties the place together though, y’know?  But about that surprise…”  He rustled for a moment under the bar and came up with three full glasses, placing them in front of me.  One a snifter of that same inky black, another a pint of deep rich tan, the third an innocent tumbler of water.  “Have you ever heard the story,” he asked, tapping each in turn.  “…of the Devil, the Strongman, and the Trickster?”

…well, long story short, the Trickster lived up to his name - I remember that for sure.  There was no water in that glass.  

I can only describe the rest of the night as a descent into madness.  The Devil and Strongman befriended the Tall Boy and the Belgian, and moved to Manhattan together.  But the Trickster chased them there…  The bar began to blur and whirl as a familiar twosome belted out angry blues to a seething sea of lost souls.   The night wore on, the pair disappeared and were replaced by the best Pearl Jam cover band I’ve ever heard.  Was this Heaven or Hell?  Did it matter?  The cackling, lurching crowd melded seamlessly with the drinks roiling in my gut. I gripped a wall with white knuckles and prayed for the end.

Some time later I awoke, cradled in the arms of a giant.  “Time to go, my friend,” he murmured with alcohol-soaked breath, and gently lowered me into a waiting cab.  “We see you soon!” he grinned.  “No you won’t,” I rasped. I was wrong.

As the driver pulled up to my door, the first sliver of sunrise broke the horizon, and a ragged smile spread across my face.  The night was finished, and I wasn’t.  

Well, it was a night I'll never forget, at least the parts I can remember.  And the cheesesteaks are pretty good too.  But they did charge me for that first pitcher.  And I thought I saw a hot girl but it turned out to be Meg White.  3 stars.


-----------------------------

Sam N Ella's
3 Floyds Way
Newark, DE
(302) 867-5309


  
Chico J.
Newark, DE
8/24/2011  


So about two weeks ago I am at the gym getting a workout in and I notice this real beauty checking me out.  I had seen her working out a few times with her boyfriend, a skinny 'lil fella with no 6-pack and in serious need of a tanning booth but this time she was alone.  Anyway, this girl walks by me and without saying a word she slips me a note with her phone number and then just walks away.  I had to leave town for a few weeks on business so I didn't get a chance to call her until last night.  She tells me she dumped her boyfriend and asked me if I would like to go out with her to this new bar she heard of.  I told her hell yeah and that I'd pick her up at 7, even though this meant I had to miss Deadwood.  Silly me, I forgot that the krankshaft on my Camaro blew out so I had to cab it over to her place and then to the bar.  The cab pulled up to some little side street that I never knew existed.  We hopped out and were greeted by a dapper older gentleman in red silk pajamas with not one, not two, but THREE beautiful young blondes on his arm.
 
"Welcome to Sam N Ella's," he says, as we approached the entrance which looked like a grotto.
 
He cards us both and as he lifts the velvet rope to let us in he asks Stacy if she has ever done any modelling.  As it turns out he is in photography and gave Stacy his business card and told her that if she ever wanted to do a photo shoot to give him a call.  That's right, I was out with a model-hot chick!
 
We entered the grotto and into a beautiful bar with dark mahogany walls and somewhat dim lighting.  I saw O.A.R. on stage and they were just beginning their set.  Through the crowd we weaved our way to the bar.  Within seconds the bartender, who you could tell was a man's-man and a world traveler, made his way to us and offered a warm welcome and handed us a list of drinks.  No shenanigans with this list, it was killer beers, old-fashioned martinis and all of their fufi variations.  I ordered a Spotted Cow and Stacy an orange-pommagranite-melon-tini.  In no time we had our drinks and were immediately enthralled by the most interesting stories from the bartender...about how he lived in the hills of the Serengeti for a summer after being gifted a wife by the tribesmen, how whenever he swims dolphins appear and about the time he fought off four rabid pandas to save Neil Young who, while drunk, wandered into the woods alone when they hiked through China together.
 
We could have sat there all night and just listened to the stories but we saw my buddy Don over by the shuffleboard game so played a few games and had a few Irish Car Bombs.  Now, I have had my fair share of Irish Carbombs but these tasted a little different.  Don told me that the owner of the bar preferred Beamish Stout over Guiness.  It was the first time I had Beamish and I must say, I am impressed.
 
One Carbomb led to four and we found ourselves a little buzzed and in need of some food.  We found a table and looked over the menu.  Their special was something called the Sam N Ella Chicken Horseshoe.  I had never heard of such a thing and tried to google it on my phone but for some reason I wasn't getting any internet signal.   Even though I did not know what I was getting myself into, a Sam N Ella Chicken sandwich just sounded good so we both ordered one.  Let me tell you, I was NOT disappointed!  After I scarfed done this "sandwich" consisting of texas toast, grilled chicken and onions topped with crinkle-cut fries, cheese sauce and diced tomatoes I had my second wind and was ready to enjoy the entertainment and a Three Floyd’s Dark Lord.
 
O.A.R, put on an ICREDIBLE show.  The crowd loved them and were on their feet, not really dancing, as there was no "dance floor", but certainly moving to the music.  They jammed for over 3 hours straight playing their own songs and even took requests from the crowd.  They played everything from Prince to Bon Jovi to to Pearl Jam.  Finally they took a break and Louis CK hopped on stage and had everyone in the place rolling.  I don't know if you've ever seen his act, and I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but he has a bit about sucking a bag of something that was one of the funniest things I've ever heard.  All throughout this an adorable El Salvadorian man in panda face paint wander from table to table entertaining people with his tales of a fantastical nightclub large enough to effect the tides and the Earth's orbit and pouring free tastes of Chimay Grand Reserve out of the owner’s 3-liter bottles.
 
The night was so much fun it flew by and next thing I knew it was closing time.  On the way out the bartender stopped us to say goodnight and to invite us to their Derby Party that was coming up.  He assured us that he makes the world’s most interesting Mint Julep.  Between the Mint Juleps and the stories from the man himself I'm definitely coming to the party, despite the fact that they don't have any TVs to show the race and there will be no gambling.
 
Wow, what a night I thought to myself as I tried to hail a cab.  Beautiful girl, great food, drinks and entertainment and the best was yet to come!
 
Just when I thought it couldn't get any better a limo rolled up.  The handsome doorman and his three "friends" hopped out and said to join them.  A gleam came across Stacy's eyes as she slid into the limo.  I closed my eyes for a moment and said a little thanks to whoever was responsible for this incredible night.  Unfortunately, I opened my eyes just in time to see the door close and watched as Stacy and my dreams drove away leaving me stranded.
 
It wasn't exactly the happy ending I was hoping for and I do not expect to ever see Stacy again but you know where to find me on Derby Day...
 
 
Sam N Ella's

At the Door: Hugh Hefner
Behind the Bar:  The Most Interesting Man in the World
Food:  Horseshoe Sandwiches
Games:  Shuffleboard
On Tap:  Miller Lite, Three Floyds Seasonal Beers, New Glarus Spotted Cow, Chimay Grand Reserve, Mikkeller Green Gold
Featured Libations:  Irish Carbombs, Martinis, Mint Juleps
On the Stage:  O.A.R., Louis C.K.
Just for Fun:  Edgar


----------------------------------------------

Hijacking someone else's Yelp template:

Shecky's Lampshade Lounge

Quote


OK, I'm giving this place 5 stars, but only because I clicked on the wrong star and it wouldn't let me change it.  What a dump!  I went to Shecky's Crap Shack because I heard from my uncle that Neil Young played on Tuesday nights.  Well, all's I saw was some bald old guy playing Who covers.  

The bartender sounded like he needed to hack up a furball.  In fact he sort of looked like a hacked up furball.  I tried to order a beer and all they had was dark stuff and Schlitz.  Who the hell serves Schlitz?  Anyhow, I ordered a beer and Furball insisted I pay cash up front.  Who the hell carries cash?  I broke out my Plum card and the guy cackled like Mick from Rocky.  "Cash only", he tells me.  I asked him if they had an ATM machine and he tells me "It's just ATM.  The M stands for Machine.  It ain't an ATM Machine.  That'd be redundant."...Whatever...Some dude at the bar, half in the bag, or totally in the bag chuckles and tells Furball, the beers on him.  I thanked him.

So I get my Schlitz and the thing is warm.  I took a sip and spit it out on the floor.  Nasty.  Bartender cackles again, and goes into a coughing spasm.  He says to me, "Here.  Here's something cold.  Private stock." He puts a flippin' Zima down in front of me.  The thing has dust on it from 1989, but at least it was cold.

The guy doing Who covers starts really getting into it.  He was actually pretty good.  I listen to a couple of songs but the smell of stale cigarettes starts to get to me.  There's not even anyone smoking and the place still is full of smoke.  It's like they've got cigarette scented incense or something.

I start to sneeze from the smell and the Who-wanna-be guy gives me a dirty look like I'm disturbing his vibe.  After the fifth sneeze he stops playing and smashes his guitar on my bar stool.

The little bouncer with the beer stained beard tells me I better be going.  I agreed.

What a freaky place.

If you go bring an oxygen mask and some cash.    



--------------------------------------------

(Last one)

Quote

The Stagger Inn: F(reak)in Awesome.
I got recommended this place from a buddy I'd met while an undergrad at (insert school name here). We'd both started out pre-med, then read the same identical journal about mal-practice medicine and decided that it was too much bull(fecal matter) to deal with when a journalism degree was much more up our respective rivers.

As you could expect, we are both very depressed people in general in the year 2009, and while he hold out hope that newspapers will bounce back, I do not. I'm thinking of starting to write for a forum called 'CelticsBlog' I frequent, but the turncoat manner of one of the 'more important' mods has me wondering if he's really a team player. But, I digress.

I walked up to the bar, ironic t-shirt in hand (it was a black number I'd designed myself, a salute to the famous 'Who Wants To Sex Mutumbo??' story that basketball nerds are familiar with), and I was ready to party.

Turns out, I was nowhere near ready enough.

The bar was relatively hard to find. The street name, 'Will Solomon Ave' was one I'd never heard of, but the cabby had, and knew exactly where I was supposed to head.

I rounded a suspect-looking corner of a warehouse to find Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson fending off a line of desperate looking patrons who apparently were not allowed in. I was about to resign myself to the back of the line, but I saw my buddy John B. smoking a cigar to the left of the Rock and gave him a nod. John, obviously hammered managed to stutter out, "The big guy in the stupid t-Shirt is with me!"

I was plucked from the crowd in less time than it took me to notice that the line clamoring to be let in was composed almost entirely of stereotypical juiceheads and pseudo-hipsters with WAYYYY more ironic T-shirts and tighter fitting jeans than I could ever imagine. I was hurried inside the bar by a burly fella and I took in the scene.

It wasn't that big. The entire place was cloaked in rich mahogany like Ron Burgandy's game room, and a fireplace crackled somewhere in the distance. The immediate serving area almost screamed, 'Sit down, stay, then never leave', it was so cozy. It wasn't packed really around the bar, but it was pretty crowded, enough so that the first time the bartended walked over, I started to stammer an order before the bartender just looked at me blankly and said, "(Frack) off, I'm a busy man."

By my second attempt, I'd made my decision. I was pleased to see they had my favorite beer, Racer 5, on tap, and Jameson whiskey was only $2 a shot. I asked for a Jameson and Racer 5 as quickly as you please as the dapper but aging 'European accented' bartender stepped up, and got my drinks in short order. I'd seen better beers and whiskeys on the bar menu hastily scribbled in chalk on signs around the bar, but I'm a simple guy, and that's what I wanted. (also, I had spent around $700 in pandacracy the previous weekend, and I was tapped...it was worth it though.)

I choked back my whiskey and set in to enjoying my beer. Suddenly, I head the familiar chords of "I Got Mine" playing the back round, and started to walk toward the commotion. The Black Keys, possibly the greatest band of the last 4 or 5 years was playing live here, and when I asked a nearby patron, he mumbled "'sssey played hurr erry' week.....end."

The energy was electric, the beer was relatively cheap, ($3 a pint of everything besides the Pliny, which was $5), and when I got hungry I had the most satisfying order of french fries I've ever had in my life. (you can top them with whatever..bacon, veggies, cheese, whatever, but I had mine plain cuz its cheaper)

I stayed til closing and honestly the last hours are a blur. I remember being really excited for my buddy John B., who had just gotten back together which his (morally casual miscreant) of a girlfriend Stacy, and doing a lot of shots of whiskey, and my farts the next morning smelled of really hoppy but delicious beer.

Ha, I know that sounds messed up, but its the truth, and that's what this is all about, right? I love this bar..bring money and your drinkin' shoes. You're gonna need both.


---------------------------------------

Quote


So I was using this online dating site (lovestinks.com) since after college I was damaged goods and couldn't get around to meeting people on my own accord.  So after looking through the pictures (like totally tons of mugs I didn't want to chug on there) I finally find a guy that seems respectable looking.  We decided we should meet up at some type of bar with some type of activity (my idea since I'm so awkward).  Since my favorite pool placed was shut down last year (Lefty Magoo's  :'() I had remember hearing about some place called Shenanigans that had pool and was nearby.

Anyways we agree to meet up there at 7 to drink some beer and play some pool.  We get there and Weezer is playing on the stage and it's a pretty chill time we kind of talk a bit with the basic small talk stuff while drinking $10 pitchers of Sam Adams Boston Lager (who doesn't love this beer).  I was totally afraid to order the gin and tonic or alabama slammer since I wanted this guy to think of me more on his beer drinking level.  Although I did get a whiskey sour, since those seem cool.

But after that it all went down hill from there.  After Weezer the Red Hot Chili Peppers came on and everyone was starting to living up a bit more and I could tell things were getting testy.  Topped off with a full out mosh type rage that busted out when Iggy Pop and the Stooges got everyone all crazy.  It was totally insane.  My date started yelling to some guy "I will murder your face and make it look like pizza!" when all of a sudden Jason Stathom came over (I would totally jump his bones) and cracked a pool stick over his head, and just whipping some behind.

So my night ended with taking my date to the ER for some stitches and went home to cry myself to sleep after realizing I need to go online and find another date.

Beyond all the drama I thought the place was great. I would have given the place 6 stars but the raudy shenanigans (pun not intended) lost it a star.  Wait you rate on 5 stars here?  I already put 5 it should be a 4, but I don't know how to fix it.

Shenanigans

Beers:
Corona Extra
Sam Adams Boston Lager
Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale
Cambridge Brewing Company's Great Pumpkin Ale
Harpoon's Oak Aged Dunkel
Portsmouth Brewery's Kate the Great Russian Imperial Stout

Specialty Drinks:
Tanqueray and Tonic
Whiskey Sour
Alabama Slammer

Entertainment:
Billiards
Weezer
Iggy Pop and the Stooges
Red Hot Chili Peppers

Food:
Beef Sliders

Staff:
Brian Flanagan
Jason Stathom


--------------------------------------

Here's my attempt. Note the shameless use of previous reviewer John B. I suspect his account was hacked.

The United Nations
Staff: Sam Malone, Shaq
Activity: Free Wi-fi, streaming TV/sports
Entertainers: AC/DC, Eric Clapton, Ziggy Marley

Food: Pizza
Beer: Murphy's Irish Stout, Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse
Ommegang Hennepin, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
Red Stripe Lager, Deschutes Seasonals

Drinks: Margaritas, full Bloody Mary bar, Irish Coffee

Quote


Saved my draft. There’s beer, music, and pizza here too, apparently.

So I wake up on Saturday morning, with plenty of time to spare before the draft for my fantasy football league, and only slightly hung over from the previous night’s festivities. I had made sure to pace myself, despite the antics of my new roommates Matt and Dave, as you don’t want to be staring down your 8th round pick with blurry vision and compromised faculties (which is how I’d let Jim scoop Houshmandzadeh during the 2003-4 season, curse him). I’d left the bar fairly early, while my erstwhile cohabitants were about to consume a final round of Irish Car Bombs before striking out for some mystical Panda-themed circus-discotheque that served flaming long island iced teas or some such. I’d heard them stomp through the apartment early this morning, foraging like drunken baboons for whatever might pass as food; I merely mumbled an obscenity, rolled over, and continued to sleep the sleep of the righteous (thank God for earplugs).

At any rate, when I awoke, I’d found the living room in an unholy shambles, with Dave passed out on top of the TV unit. Matt had apparently slept in the kitchen, his head resting on one of the refrigerator shelves. Both reeked of tequila and shellfish. Undaunted, I showered and repaired to my bedroom with my laptop and cheat sheets, with still a good 20 minutes before draft time.

The internet was out. Again.

Scrambling, I tossed sheets, laptop and wallet into a backpack, and dashed out of the building into the street. The bright mid-morning sun assaulted my eyes momentarily, and I realized that I was, in fact, slightly more hung over than I had originally thought. Being relatively new to the area, having only just moved in the previous weekend, I had no idea where to find the nearest Wi-fi hotspot. I knew there was a Starbucks two blocks away, but due to my throbbing head and churning stomach, both exacerbated by a steadily rising panic, I found myself disoriented, stumbling down a street I’d not yet explored.

Fortunately, I soon found myself outside the door of a local watering hole that proudly displayed a cheerful “Wi-Fi here!” sticker. Bursting through the door, I was greeted by a bearded giant who, in a barely intelligible baritone, asked to see some ID, and, once produced, affably grinned and bade me enter with one of his gargantuan limbs.

I dashed to the nearest table with my laptop, scattering my notes across the hardwood floors, which smelled vaguely of some citrus-infused oil that gave the boards a healthy luster. Perhaps sensing my distress, the barman looked over from his station, and asked if I needed a hand with anything, calling me by name. Momentarily stunned, I could only mumble my thanks and a request for some ice water. He grinned and nodded, and began filling a glass.

I settled in, and managed to make the opening gun of the draft without further incident. At some point, I’d asked for coffee, and the beverage placed before me stunned me upon my first sip, for it contained a fair amount of whisky. By the time I’d drunk half of the strong and aromatic brew, the final vestiges of last night’s abuses were cleared from my head, and I proceeded to dominate the late rounds of the draft, grabbing virtually every sleeper on my list.

As I began packing up my things to leave, I began to notice my surroundings a bit more: the unmistakable aroma of wood fires and pizza baking, a polished bar with several taps bearing names of beers I’d never heard of, flat screen monitors showing TV shows and a soccer match between two anonymous European teams. A placard on the wall boasted of live music later that night by some outfit that sounded like an electrician’s union, while another poster, emblazoned in red, gold, and green lettering, proclaimed a daily happy hour promotion on the establishment’s rooftop, sponsored by “Red Stripe” and featuring a dreadlocked musician by the name of Marley.

As I left, I overheard one patron somewhat tipsily commiserating with another over the quality of the Bloody Mary’s the two were drinking, just as a guitarist made his way from the back regions of the bar to the front room with his instrument in hand, his arrival enthusiastically greeted by a now substantial throng. He smiled, waved his hand, and began playing, the gentle strains of his guitar rising then falling like wind across water. He seemed quite proficient, and so I lingered at the threshold only momentarily before striking out again into the sunlight.

I returned to the apartment to find Matt still in the fridge. Dave was nowhere to be found, although his undergarments were still draped across the TV unit, just as he had been a few hours before.

I may need to find a new place to live soon.



--------------------------------------------

Quote

Pandacracy: Black And White Is The New Swag-Bomb!
Swag, bro. Straight swag. Like, I walked in the door, and I got a complementary pair of authentic Chuck Norris Action Jeans...from freakin CHUCK NORRIS, Bro! I can't do a side-kick to the jaw, but I'm gonna learn now bro. Won't bind my legs!

So this bar bro...it ain't even a bar. It ain't even a restaurant/bistro, or even like an activity zone or somethin. Its like Disney World met the Ghost Bar in Vegas, then adopted a Chinese baby. Its a swag bomb homie, and its goin off 24 hours a day, six days a week, 365 days a year.

You walk in and you're like, genuinely emotional about how amazing it is. My buddy Rocco kinda teared up a bit, and as I lovingly wiped the tears off his cheek, assuring him as I had countless times before that his struggle in life was my struggle, and our souls we inextricably bound in ties that other people could not emotionally comprehend, I met his eyes and we both knew what the other was thinking: CHICKS!

I'm not gonna lie to you, my dudes. I couldn't see the whole bar. Not in just one night. We first went over to Issac's bar for some New Jersey Iced Teas (because New Jersey is was cooler than those posers from Long Island. I mean, I'm from Webster NY, which is just outside of Rochester and I've never been to either place, but I know factually that New Jersey is a completely different and cooler culture of its own). And we met some lovely ladies there that had came to Pandacracy but had underestimated the $200 cover charge and $50 drinks. I looked at my dude and he looked at me and we were like "BALLLLINNNNNNNN".

So we bought the ladies drinks as long as they would come to the dance floor with us.

Three days, 30 lbs, and $2500 dollars later we emerged in a hungry stupor, and barely made it over to the Raw Bar. Chef Ming Tsai whipped us up around 80 oysters, and as we gobbled them up like cheetos, he cautiously backed away from the table.

I don't know what happened next, but I woke up naked, covered in baby oil, being spooned by what looked like a ladybug-person. My whole body hurt, and I never did find my pants.

This bar is like a marathon, bro. Its epic, its brolic, its swagrific, and its something that nobody sane would do every-day.

Next week I've got a date with LadyBug to go see Cirque Du Solie, but I don't think she knows I ain't a one woma...one bug dude. Five Stars, best time of my life.


------------------------------------------

The Wallingford Social Club

"An experiment in boorish taste"

I had no intention of stopping at the WSC, but I needed to watch the Steelers play and apparently only ONE bar in this whole GODDAAMN CITY has televisions these days. It's outside my realm of normal destinations, but worth a look.

I immediately had my reservations, as the bouncer, while well dressed enough, stood amongst a pile of beers that were growing warm and a discarded pile of ladies' undergarments. He politely waved me inside while another reverent patron headed outdoors to bring the clean shaved man a brew and a shot.

I walked inside a pretty large complex to find a stocked bar, stage, casual piano, and about a million televisions showing everything from the NFL to Thai thumb wrestling. I sauntered up to the bar where a friendly voice boomed towards me:

HEY, I'M JI-

JIM

The jolly white giant ran down the tap list, which ran the gamut from cheap to pricey, and settled on a Yuengling, a gameday classic. Jim, my bar-monster, accidentally smashed three glasses in his ham-sized hands before sliding a beer my way.

THERE'S A TEAM CALLED THE BREWERS, I WONDER IF THEIR PRESENCE IS BASED ON THE ACTUAL BREWING PROCESS OF 18TH CENTURY GERMAN IMMIGRANTS

I didn't know what that meant, so I politely smiled in return. I ordered some buffalo wings and watched the Steelers' mercy-killing of the Browns, thereby reaffirming my existence as a lifelong Western Pennsylvanian. In the background, a dog played piano while accompanying a frog on vocals, lamenting the state of women in our lives. A mass of appreciative drinkers nodded in approval. It looked something like this:


A group of "bros" rolled up next to me and ordered a round of Jagerbombs, enticing me to peruse the rest of the drink menu. I ordered an old fashioned and watched in awe as Jim smashed together the ingredients of the best drink I've ever had like an alcoholic Raymond Babbitt.

AW SHUCKS, MISTER, OLD FASHIONEDS WEREN'T NOTHING A COUNTRY BOY CAN'T DO

Again, I had no idea what that meant, so I smiled politely and took another sip.

Trouble reared its head later, as a horde of escaped gorillas from a neighboring Cirque du Soleil show broke free, trapping a family of seven in their mini-van a block away. Now, I finally understood the reverie for the bouncer.

Doorman Sal, thinking on his feet, executed a precise strike on the lead silverback, eliminating the group's leader. He used tactical precision to keep the other threats at bay, removing all seven family members from danger and failing to leave anyone behind. Hell, at one point two gorillas were escaping with a small child. Sal choked one of them out as the other fled, retrieving the hostage and eliminating a high-value target in one swoop.

It suddenly became very clear to me that there were no problems with unruly guests at this bar. Ever. I made sure to add another beer to Sal's queue, and handed him my underpants as a token of respect, much like the ladies before me.

As the night wore down, an older man who slightly resembled Eddie Money played a set on stage while certain TVs showed old reruns of the Adventures of Pete & Pete. An appreciative crowd went nuts for "Take Me Home Tonight," and I have no idea if their admiration was ironic or otherwise. Someone told me that the Rolling Stones played here too, but I'm pretty sure that was bullsh*t.

All in all, a solid experience. Lots of sports, good beers for drinking, best wings in town, and a friendly staff composed of Paul Bunyan and G.I. Joe. I'm not sure what the puppets were all about, though.

****

The Wallingford Social Club

Beers (Mainstream):
Moosehead
Yuengling
Leinenkugel's Seasonals (Apple Spice!)

Beers (Craft):
Unibroue's La Fin du Monde
MBC's Flaming Damsel
Three Floyd's Gumballhead

Drinks:
Jack and Coke
Old Fashioneds
Jager Bombs

Food:
Buffalo Wings

Staff:
JIM THOME
Staff Sgt. Sal Giunta

Entertainment:
The Muppets
The Rolling Stones
Eddie Money

Activity:
All the best television, sports, and classic reruns in the world.



Re: Pub Experience: Rosters & Yelp Reviews
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2011, 05:43:35 PM »

Offline StartOrien

  • Frank Ramsey
  • ************
  • Posts: 12961
  • Tommy Points: 1200
------------------------------------------

The Plagiarist and Apologist Pub

Quote


Not what I was expecting, but it rocked my world.

This bar is an enigma.  As a proud member of my local NOW branch, I should be appalled by the Plagiarist and Apologist pub.  There's a lot here that appeals to the Neanderthal sect:  Megan Fox surrendering her dignity at the door to serve beer to leering patrons; co-eds playing Beirut in short shorts and halter tops, their bosoms drenched in Stella Artois; the nastiest "food" that you can possibly imagine, all of which seems to be drenched in equal parts grease and ketchup.  The lead singer of the Pogues was there, and he blew in my ear, asked for a kiss, and proceeded to vomit on my trowsers.  Rather than escort the miscreant out the door, the bouncer instead covered the drunk's leavings with a pile of saw dust, gave me a voucher for a free drink, and guided him up on stage, where he sang a strangely compelling version of The Irish Rover.

Why didn't I leave?  I tell myself it was for the Dresden Dolls.  Amanda Palmer is the epitome of a strong female artist, and I had to stay to find out what she was doing in this wretched hive of scum and villainy.  As she appeared on stage, her face painted like a mime, signing about being molested as a child, I was in heavenly bliss.  So sophisticated in her shabbyness, and yet so vulnerable.

Coming off my high from this Punk Caberet Burlesque show, and floating on air after a few two many vodka red bulls and Grateful Deads, I saw the Plagiarist and Apologist Pub in a new light.  Sure, it attracts a young, vibrant crowd of local college kids, their nubile bodies filled to delight by tasty libations.  However, there's a broader, perhaps sadder, appeal to the PAP.  There are the broken heroes of college days gone by, trying to recapture their younger years.  There are the newly-liberated divorcees, who scour the beer for young men, all the while reminding Megan Fox that she's "not that hot".  There's the urban professional crowd, that seems content to debate politics while partaking in the PAP's excellent beer selections.  Oh, and did I mention that that there's Bon Jovi?

I wish I could remember the rest of the night.  I vaguely remember catching a taxi, and for the life of me I can't recall the name of the guy who I woke up next to.  Still, I felt compelled to immediately post this review to Yelp, and since my paramour's laptop was open next to the bed, I'm posting under his account.  -Sandra B.

Quote


This place rocks!

Did somebody say morally casual women?  This place has them in spades!  Plus, bands dressed as mimes, drunken irish dudes, a bartender that looks strangely like Megan Fox, a "sandwich" featuring gyro meat, chicken fingers, and jalapeno poppers, and a bouncer who said he would "profain my remains".  What's not to love?  But really, what it all comes down to is Bon Jovi + crazy women screaming "The Doctor Is IN!!" + beer pong + red bull.  

Also, if you're out there reading this somewhere, I love you, Sweet Sandra.

Drink Menu

Vodka Red Bull
Dr. McGillicuddy's
Grateful Dead

Troubador Obscura
Allagash Black (Bourbon Barrel)
Gritty McDuff's Black Fly Stout
Stella Artois
Maine Beer Company's Zoe
Casco Bay RipTide Red Ale

Bar Staff
Megan Fox
Dan Dority

Entertainment



The Pogues
Bon Jovi
The Dresden Dolls



Drinking Table Games (Beirut, Flip Cup, Beer Die)

Food



"Fat" sandwiches




------------------------------------------

Well To Read my Preview you have to go To Page No.1 on this years "Worlds Bartender Magazine"
The Magazine of the Bar Proffesionals



At No.1


PANDACRAZY  KUNG FU & ZEN PUB

by BarMeister

World have a New no.1, Ibiza, Cancun Dubai are Old News, Headed by a Madman and Packing a Elite group of proffesionals this years No.1 Heads to the coasts of El Salvador.
It easy to understand why this tropical paradise becomes "mas famoso" by the second.



Welcome to PANDACRACY



Lets start by the door, The name of the Bar gets a New meaning when THE one and only Chuck Norris Welcomes you to this extravagant experience, a great smile under a indestructible Moustache, that makes you feel confy and sure that the capacity of 37,500 people will never be broken and the ratio of 2 girls for each guy will be respected

After that you will find the meeting area


Then you will have two options, heading Right or heading left If you hit the leftie road you will probably have to grab hard your Pilsener beer,
a refreshing delicious experience next to the sea to laugh your lungs off at the comedy show.
featuring
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb61PfRAMW8
Mr. Chris Rock in a massive auditorium.

BUT

If youre musical enough to head right you will find the local band playing a couple of tunes that you might now.
at least I am sure you will KNOW ONE
( Do you got the Joke?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lHDZOJM53Y&feature=related

So theres not only Romance there but all over the place

Their terrace Features arguably the Best Bartender ever existed and he will be serving Top Notch Long Island Ice Teas, Flaming Cucarachas and scorpion bowls all night long HES ON FIRE




Not to mention the Beer collection is not only made of the excellent Pilsener local beer.

In the bar we are proud to have the only custom made for the bar beer all over Draught


THE ANGRY PANDAis back only and exclusive for Pandacracy


But If youre a knowledge person in beers you might now that THE BEST BROTHER TRUCKER beer  in the world could be found at pandacracy

And as BarMeister I am not the one saying this, 2011 Rate Beer and Beer Advocate agrees that THE NO. 1 beer in the worl on 2011
is


WestVleteren12

Next to it the best germans and belgiums of their class


Celebrator dopple

Delirium Tremens

The bar also runs the No.1 selling Beer in the World, and its a proudly sponsor of all the fun going on inside Pandacracy

You can find the Beeer at one of their two dedicated 24/7 Dance Floors featuring the likes of:


TIESTO
ATM
Van Dyke
and DJ Edgar when free night at Sam And Ellas


great food to go with it. For elite taste

The mazing Raw fish and Oysters bar runned by Chef Morimoto himself

TOO MUCH YOU SAID

hahaha, Pandacracys fun its only starting, High Class top ranked show in the world is in the House
Having a very interest alliance with



Pandacracy is the only Pub in earth capable of running simultaneous shows featuring



and of course our old friend the ladybug


to mention only a couple of the multi fun run inside Pandacracy.


Inside this very Elegant enviroment you can find a little something for ALL

Comedy, Rock, Dancing, Magic, Music, Drinking , Great Food, moonlight romance, and Bizarro.

There are no discussion the Best Bar in the Worl tittle is Here and its here to stay for a Long Time.
Now is complete!

Pandacrazy Kung Fu and Zen Pub is the ultimate Experience in Pubbing no matter if you want to have a delicious coctail looking the moon on the terrace and having a delicious chat with Isaac or If you want to see colors dancing tiesto with ladybug.

Pandacracy is the Way to go.


Most likely Bar to:

Be the best in the world

Featuring also their
2011 Summer collection and some late reviw supporting picc




















and some egomaniacal promotion of Sam and Ellas


and they even design for other bars

[/img]

The people who gets there becomes happy



Luxury is always there





The interior:






THEY ARE AN ECO FRIENDLY PUB!!




Visit Pandacracy You will never regret!!!
[/quote]

---------------------------------------

Quote

Stagger Inn? More Like Stagger Out!
Bro, I'm tellin you, this place sucks. I went there on a Friday night, after I just got gotten my swag on. I was smellin right, gelled up, blown out, tanned down, and I had purposefully neglected to properly hydrate, so my biceps looked more ripped up than Rip Torn, knowwhatimsayin? I was out lookin for a girl that was DTF, with a dude who spends his day GTLin. I found out though that the old phrase my grandfather told me was true; 'if you want to laugh with god, plan on it.'

It started out so cool though! A personal hero of mine, Dwayne The Rock Johnson was working the door. Now he ain't as Rip Tornned as I am, but like, my dude, he's huge. So I'm tryin to get in the bar and I tell the Rock that I'm a huge fan. He says that's great, and what was my name. Then, right as I'm about to say my name, he screams "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!". Y'all don't know me or nothin and I ain't the toughest dude around, but I once took 31st in the Rochester NY Tough Man contest, and when I wanna be, I'm brolic as a mother, nah-mean?

So I swallow my rage like I have swallowed my feelings for the way my buddy Rocco looks in his gym speedo, and I cruise in the bar, my mind open like a 7/11.

Inside the bar there were NO strobe lights, NO fog machines, NO generic techo beat I could 'dance' to. I went over to the bar, asked for my Bud Light Lime like I always do (because I figure when I become famous eventually they'll ask me to be a spokesperson or whatever. I think big picture, baby, I do big things!), and this English Harry Potter actin jerk just looks at me and says, 'beer or whiskey?'

I'm like, what? Did he just pretend that Bud Light Lime isn't beer? Then I asked him for a Jagerbomb, cuz you know, Jagerbombs.

Bro, he DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ANY REDBULL. Not even any Monster Knockoff. I'm like my dude, you gotta be kidding me, and he's like 'No, I can assure you, my dude, I'm not. Whiskey or beer?', except since your reading this you don't know I said it like he said in an english accent.

I'm like forget this, then I went out to the dance floor to grind up on some chicks, except nobody was beating up the beat! Its like they never heard of electrical music!

Everything considered, I got to meet the Rock. But this bar sucks, yo.

---------------------------------------------

ROOM 112 YELP PART 2!

Quote

Room 112: Where the Playaz Dwell


I came into Room 112 in need of a drink.

I'm a director. For the longest time, I was treated like a god around these parts. But then, things around here changed. And all of a sudden, the actors weren't working for us, WE were working for them.

"You have to shoot me like this", "I have to say this", etc. The fact is we were taking cues on how to make a movie from people that don't know the first thing about great cinema.

So eventually I had enough. If I wanted to get back to making great pieces of film that I could be proud of something had to change.

So I decided to built a holographic actress that I would superimpose into my movies without letting anyone know it.

And at first it goes great - I'm making movies I love again. Commercially successfully, critically adored! Everything you could want and more! I was BACK, guys!

But then 'the business' steps in and everyone wants a piece of my holographic actress! And it's just too much for me, guys! I JUST WANT TO MAKE GREAT MOVIES.

So I made the tough decision to stop making movies with my holographic actress, forcing me to retire from Hollywood.

So I came to Room 112 looking to just get away, and what a great time I had!

I came in and had (quite) a few Rum & Cokes and told the whole fiasco to Bill Murray, who really could relate to my case. He couldn't have been nicer!

Then after our conversation My Morning Jacket came on and played an incredible set, all their songs, and then a ton of great covers like "Get Down On It" by KC and the Sunshine Band, "Express Yourself" by Charles Wright, and then "Move On Up" by Curtis Mayfield! Then they shared the stage with the Roots and did "Wordless Chorus," "Dear God 2.0" and a whole lotta more stuff!

The beer selection was great! The beef on a stick was surprisingly good, and I had SO much fun playing skeeball horse races (Prince was announcing the races).

But I had to take points off cuz they didn't offer flex-straws:

1.5 stars


Entertainers: The Roots, MMJ, Prince
Specialty Drink: Jameson & Ginger Ale, Rum & Coke, Whipped Cream Vodka & Orange Soda
Beers: Smithwicks, Magic Hat #9, GL Christmas Ale,
 Wilco Tango Foxtrot Beer, Coors Light, Sunset Wheat
Bartender: Bill Murray Bouncer: Blade
Specialty Food: Beef on a Stick Activities: Skeeball Horse Racing


---------------------------------

ROOM 112 YELP!

Quote

Room 112: Where the Playaz Dwell


I came into Room 112 in need for a drink.

Recently, I had accepted a position at a psych ward for truly challenged patients. Having recently received my Master's from Harvard, I figured I came in thinking I knew everything - but I soon found out that was DEFINITELY not the case!

Upon arrival I was assigned a truly unique case: A man who believed - and who had convinced several of his peers - that he was an extraterrestrial from another planet. I KNOW! I KNOW! But here's what's the crazy part, you guys: He might really have been an alien.

In the following few weeks he displayed some incredible fetes: From strong predictions to the ability to easily solve what I thought were unsolvable equations to some really weird stuff that I can't explain.

Throughout this time he kept stating that he would be departing on July 27th.

My favorite Professor at Harvard, Doctor Howard, once told me to focus in on all the little details. And Doctor Howard, if you're reading this right now, THANK YOU!

Because it was under Doctor Howard's advice that I focused in on the specific date my patient had been citing. And through his tutelage I was able to focus in on that date and figure out that something traumatic must've happened to my patient on July 27th!!! Due to Doctor-Client practices I can't reveal exactly what the resoulution was, but I was right, and finally my patient was at peace!

But then, the strangest thing happened. On July 27th, we found him in his bed: IN A CATAONIC STATE AND COMPLTELY UNRESPONSIVE! Was it just a fluke? Or was he really an alien who needed to find inner peace before returning to his home planet in a second life?! I DON'T KNOW!

Anyways, I went to room 112 - I told bar tender Bill Murray my story while he was serving me a good variety of beers and he couldn't have been nicer. And then Prince showed up and played like a 6 hour set w/ the Roots backing him. That was incredible!

Beer was awesome, beef on a stick was suprisingly great and I had so much fun playing skee ball horse races with Jim James from My Morning Jacket.

That being said, I didn't like that they didn't use more eco-friendly napkins.

I'd give it 2 stars




Entertainers: The Roots, MMJ, Prince
Specialty Drink: Jameson & Ginger Ale, Rum & Coke, Whipped Cream Vodka & Orange Soda
Beers: Smithwicks, Magic Hat #9, GL Christmas Ale,
 Wilco Tango Foxtrot Beer, Coors Light, Sunset Wheat
Bartender: Bill Murray Bouncer: Blade
Specialty Food: Beef on a Stick Activities: Skeeball Horse Racing


-------------------------------

Quote

The Stagger Inn, Or, 'How I Got My Nose Broke At An Awesome Bar'

I had just broken up with my girlfriend of three years just two weeks before I ventured into 'The Stagger Inn' for the first time. As you can imagine, it was still an open gaping wound. She said it was about personal growth, and space. I said it was about a certain friend she had met at the gym who had an exotic name and artificially bronzed skin. Rico..Chico...I don't know. Something like that. %*@#$.

I had made sure that my outfit was one becoming of an eligible bachelor, because although I am 23 year old and very mature for my age, I have no idea how 'the kids' hook up anymore. I gave that harlot the best years of my life, and what do I have left? Picking up morally casual women at the bar while I try tentatively to pick up the broken pieces of my life.

As I entered the bar I noted the study but worn wooden paneling that encompassed the place like the warm, secure, lover's embrace I once knew. The bar wasn't packed, but for five pm on a Tuesday, it was comfortably inhabited. I sidled up to a bar-stool and took a look around.

The bar area was cozy, a sturdy hardwood construction from the imagination of a young James Joyce. Unlike my tortured soul, the atmosphere was far from dour. A man in the late-prime of life tended bar efficiently, a smug grin efficaciously hiding the hard intensity behind his dark eyes. His glance caught mine and he walked over, asking me in a Manchester accent (I know, because my ex and I spent 2 weeks abroad in the UK) what it was that I wanted. I told him about how I was having a problem filling the hours since Stacy had left me for whichever ex-member of Menudo she was currently dating. I explained that I had been trying to fill the gap with various substitutes; booze, NCIS: Los Angeles, old episodes of Night Court, writing fan-fiction about Judge Reinhold's life, none of it had worked.

The bartender looked at me, and asked 'You know what you can do?' I shook my head, and his hand flashed out like some sort of cobra, striking my at the bridge of my nose. 'You can act like a man,' he said after. He walked away from me and I looked around the room to find quiet sniggers of contempt and furtive glances to greet me. Soon though, the offending bartender came back. In one hand he held a rocks glass with two fingers of dark liquor, while in the other hand he held a pint glass with a dark midnight colored brew, topped by a white frothy head. He set them down in front of me, than tossed me a bar-rag to stop the bleeding on my nose.

'Drink that', he said, pointing at the rocks glass, 'then that' he said, pointing at the pint.

I left the bar sometime around closing, right around when my nose started to really puff out. My female companion didn't seem to mind. I've been back every night since, highly recommended. Great beer selection, best whiskey on earth, and I think at some point Flogging Molly played, but that might have been the jello-shots.

----------------------------------

Shecky's is the kind of place you walk into and say, "Can I borrow a torch?".  Everything about the place is like a 3-way lamp on the lowest level - you like it just where it is, but mostly because you're afraid to see what it would like if it was any brighter.

Shecky's is a dive, but it's a dive with a cause.  I shutter to even post this for fear of revealing a true hidden gem.  The place wouldn't be the same if it became trendy (it's miraculous it hasn't been discovered by more given the frequent unadvertised drop ins by the likes of Neil Young, Pete Townshend, and an occasional rant from comedian Ron White.  It's a bit of a two-headed snake.  They come because of what Shecky's is (a dingy place to keep it real and do what they love without pretensions).  

The first thing you'll notice at Shecky's is a bouncer who seems to be half in the bag.  A bearded dude, short and stout, but tough as nails. All decked out in some sort of medieval garb.  He carries a scary ass battle axe, but he has yet to use it.  He mostly just grunts.

Inside Shecky's, once your eyes adjust, you'll see that beneath the smoke there is an actual comfy bar with comfy seats and a few tables kinking around.  A few lounge seats and couches etc...There's a hard wood floor, and a small stage in the corner.  There's a lot of music memorabilia - faded concert posters from bartender Tom Waits' shows, and some other pictures etc...There's no real rhyme or reason to the "art" - merely stuff collected over the years affixed randomly around the joint.

If you're there for great service go elsewhere.  You will be entertained, and you will be served good stuff, but don't go if you're in a rush.  Things move slow at Shecky's.  It's not like they're rude or ignoring you though.

The beer and wine selection predictably lean towards the dark and flavorful.  Some rich dark beers of the utmost quality and a carefully selected wine list (reds!  and only reds).  Wines are bold.  

Shecky's doesn't do much, but what they do, they do under a consistent theme that simply fits the place.  Everything is unassuming, authentic, and excellent.  The food menu consists of a few variety of hamburgers with some side accouterments.  But [dang] if it's not the best flippin' burger ever.  Juicy and full of beefy goodness.

Go to Shecky's and "Drink Your Face Off"

Beers
Newcastle
Old Rasputen Russian Stout
Trappistes Rochefort 10
Schlitz
Harpoon IPA
Smuttynose Porter

Entertainers
Neil Young
Ron White
Pete Townshend

Shots/Mixed Drink
Wine
Courvoisier Cognac
Sweaty Lumberjack

Food
Hamburgers

Re: Pub Experience: Rosters & Yelp Reviews
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2011, 05:44:36 PM »

Offline StartOrien

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Donaghy's

Beer Selections: Dogfishhead 90 Minutes, Lagunitas Lil' Sumpin' Sumpin Ale, Stone Brewing Smoked Porter, Metropolitan Krankshaft Kolsch, Spaten Oktoberfest, Miller High Life

Entertainers: Arcade Fire, The Killers, Cold War Kids

Shots/Mixed Drinks: White Russian, Lunchbox Shot, Hot Toddy

Activity: Cornhole

Bartender: Stacy Kiebler

Bouncer: Dalton from "Roadhouse"

Food: Texas BBQ

Fake Yelp Review

Quote

(Aug 25, 2021)- Waking up with the taste of Newports in my mouth and stinking of Pepe Lopez from my night at the bingo parlor, I dragged myself out of bed and decided that I needed to re-evaluate things.

The Q-Tips and their wild shenanigans at Bingo night were getting too much for me.  I couldn't keep up with ol' Charley's ice-luging skills anymore and it pained me to see Estelle with another man. 

I needed to find a new, hipper place to take out my aggressions.

Enter "Donaghys".

I walked into this place on a Friday night and the place was bumping with hipsters, bikers, felons, power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry.  Luckily, this bouncer fella who lives by the motto "Take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he'll drop like a stone" keeps the place in line.

Bellying up to the bar, my eyes caught hold of the most beautiful woman walking this green earth; a true angel in leather pants and halter top slinging white russians left & right. She slides a white russian down to me and pours two of these lunchbox shots.  Pure bliss streamed down my throat and the good bartender and I each took one to the dome.  I thanked the dear lady and went on my way.


To my utter amazement, this place had multiple cornhole sets out on the back patio and, myself never being one to shy away from fun, asked a lovely young lass to be my partner and we took on a pair of Ecaudorian exchange students who were riding a 5 game undefeated streak.

Those boys luck had run out because the young lady and I laid a stompin' on them that time won't soon forget!!

Following a big "W", I asked my beautiful partner if she would be up for celebrating with some champagne...the champagne of beers that is;  Miller High Life!


We grabbed ourselves a table and ordered up some of the finest Texas BBQ this side of the Connecticut River; brisket, beef ribs, and plenty o' cole slaw.  We ate to our hearts' content with BBQ sauce running down the sides of our mouth while being serenaded by the rockin' tunes of Arcade Fire on the main stage.

Following another one or two(or ten) beers, I decided that this young man had his fill and was ready to take my voyages back into the night.  I asked the young vixen for her pager number and I disappeared out the front door, tipping my hat to Dalton the bouncer, with the soothing "Sprawl II" bidding me a sweet adieu.


5 stars.