This song should have been called "Bag of Ds" instead. Worst popular song of the new millennium. This sums up my feelings thusly.
http://www.anchorofgold.com/2011/4/1/2079955/schadenfreude-fridays-the-worst-song-in-the-world
That was hilarious. I will read your blog on Fridays.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho-ly [crap]. Did anyone else just get a spontaneous nosebleed from reading that? "Jar of hearts?" "Tearing love apart?" [Frack] you, Christina Perri.
That got audible laughter.
Thanks for the kind words. I haven't done a good one in about a month now, but Schadenfreude Fridays are definitely my favorite thing to write. I recommend our failed soft drinks review if you're bored and looking for something to read.
This song should have been called "Bag of Ds" instead. Worst popular song of the new millennium. This sums up my feelings thusly.
http://www.anchorofgold.com/2011/4/1/2079955/schadenfreude-fridays-the-worst-song-in-the-world
The guy who wrote this didn't catch that it's not a break up song. It's a loser-wants-her-back-but-she-probably-has-a-real-man-now song
Which is not to say his analysis isn't funny in his own way.
My problem isn't that it's a relationship song, it's that it's the Jay Leno monologue of relationship songs (though, for an empowered woman, she seems to whine a lot about the relationship itself - put the light back in my eyes, you broke your promises, etc). It sounds like it's written by an 8th grader and has all the subtlety of a lower back tattoo. There's no originality there, no effort to actually make Perri's garbled anger an actual song - just crappy lines shoehorned into a lazy lyrical setup and bleated out over four droning minutes.
It lacks any sense of self-awareness or irony. It does terrible, unoriginal things with the English language ("anywhere to be found," rhyming "back" with "back," and the unforgivable "catch a cold from the ice inside your soul") and doesn't have the musical chops to back that up. It's lazy and uninspired.
The song's tacky, and I say this as a man who thinks Bad Romance may be the greatest song of our generation (
Caaaaaaught in a Bad Ro-MANCE). It's teenage angst in its lowest common denominator. Even Avril Lavigne looked at this and was like "daamn, that's lazy." Perri's lyrics are so far up their own butt that the song can't even venture into so-bad-its-good territory. Her inability to grasp basic metaphors and original imagery is almost insulting.
Ok, rant over. That song is terrible, but different strokes for different folks. For the record, both "You Oughta Know" and "I Will Survive" are staples on my iPod, along with Duran Duran's "Wild Boys," The Roots "The Seed 2.0," and the Toadies "Tyler" - so I run a wide gambit of misogyny and woman hating. Though, if Jar of Hearts were sung by a man, I would be equally embarrassed for the person taking writing credits. It's just a really, really bad song.