Bill Simmons' article : Why Shaq signed with the Celtics

[Drucci]

Interesting article by Bill Simmons on the Shaq signing. He seems to like the move and is convinced that Shaq will finally be motivated and in shape after years of "not caring". And he claims that he signed with Boston to beat Kobe and continue their "feud".

Chewed-On Theory No. 1: "Why did Shaq sign with the Celtics?"

Notice how that didn't read "Why did the Celtics sign Shaq?"

I went through the seven stages of grief when the Celtics signed Shaq: shock and denial ("No!"); pain and guilt ("No!!!!!!!!!"); anger and bargaining ("NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"); depression, reflection and loneliness ("He's a washed-up coach-killer who couldn't stop a high screen if you allowed him to use a taser and a billy club"); the upward turn (remembering that the Celtics signed him for the minimum, that he's eminently tradable or waivable, and that he was taking Shelden Williams' spot); reconstruction and working through (that he may have been miscast on his two previous teams, and with a bigger/slower/older team like Boston that struggles in the half court, he might be an asset on the low post against certain opponents); and acceptance and hope (that even if only he plays hard versus the three teams against whom he has a grudge -- Miami, Los Angeles and Orlando -- he could end up being a major asset). I finished the whole cycle in less than 24 hours.

Within a week, I was convinced that Shaq would be like Bill Walton with the '86 Celtics: rejuvenated and reborn. That's what fans do. We talk ourselves into things. And truthfully, I do think it was a smart signing for Boston for one reason: the price ($1.3 million). Even at Shaq's advanced age, he can still score down low or get fouled against everyone in the NBA except for maybe four guys. (Name me a Miami player who can keep him away from the rim. You can't.) Of course, you could have said that about Kareem in 1989, or Hakeem in 2002, but those guys had the dignity to retire first.

And that's what bugged me about this. Why would Shaq come back for a measly $1.3 million?

The man has made nearly $300 million just in salaries, not counting endorsements, production deals, movie roles, his reality show that he stole from Steve Nash, his music albums and the money that LSU paid him. He certainly didn't need the money. It's possible he just wanted to finish his career on a high note. After all, he left Orlando on bad terms, then Los Angeles, then Miami, then Phoenix, and Cleveland's 2010 disintegration wasn't uplifting by any means. Shaq's reputation as a negative influence -- within the coaching community, he's despised -- gained steam these past two seasons, breathing new life into theories about why his alliance with Kobe may have self-destructed. (Everyone always blamed Kobe, and yet, in two decades, only Phil Jackson and Pat Riley ever handled Shaq successfully behind the scenes.) By the summer of 2010, no contender would consider him except Boston. And only because the Celtics needed a center. It was a business arrangement of sorts: We need X, you need Y. Let's join forces.

But again … what's Y?

Of the 20 best players ever (not counting LeBron, Duncan or Kobe), only Moses and Shaq got passed around like a used TV in their waning years. Russell, Havlicek, Magic, Bird, West, Baylor and Pettit played for only one team. Jordan, Kareem, Oscar, Hakeem, Doc and Mailman played for two. Wilt and Barkley played for three. Including his two-year ABA stint and his preseason cameo with the '77 Blazers, Moses belonged to 10 franchises from 1974 through 1995, rounding things out with the '93 Bucks (4.5 ppg), '94 Sixers (5.3 ppg) and '95 Spurs (2.9 ppg). It never felt right watching a legendary center pull a Mokeski for one last paycheck, but Moses didn't earn $300 million like Shaq did. This summer should have been a wake-up call for Shaq -- team after team saying "Thanks but no thanks" -- but he kept hitting the snooze button.

If, at any point from 1999 to 2009, you had told me "At some point in his life, nobody will want Shaq, and his choices will either be retiring, playing in Europe or playing for Boston," I never, ever, EVER would have imagined him jeopardizing his relationship with Lakers fans by picking Boston. But that's what he did. He's the biggest chess piece that ever switched sides in the rivalry. Maybe it's not like Red Sox fans bristling after Clemens forced a trade to the '99 Yankees, or even Dylan finding out from Nat that Brandon was dating Kelly … but still, he's going to saunter into Los Angeles wearing a Celtics uniform? The Lakers won't be rushing to retire his number after that one, nor will their fans care. Depending on how well Boston does (and how personally Lakers fans take it), Shaq could morph into the next Clemens, aka The Superstar Who Doesn't Really Belong To Any Team.

(Well, for about three years. Then Lakers fans will feel bad, put their bitterness aside and cheer him during his belated retirement ceremony for six of the 24 minutes.)

You can't even use the argument "The man just wants to win." He's already won four rings. He's a three-time Finals MVP. He banked a title without Kobe in Miami. He doesn't need to chase rings. The man has nothing left to prove.

Or does he?

You might remember the press conference after Game 7 of the 2010 Finals -- or, as it's known in my house, "The Night That Led To Dad Not Speaking To Anyone For Five Days" -- when Kobe couldn't conceal his delight when someone asked what the title meant to him personally, saying "I got one more than Shaq! You can take that to the bank."

Everyone laughed. Then Kobe added cryptically, "You guys know how I am. … I don't forget anything."

He's not kidding. A few minutes before, when everyone was celebrating in the Lakers locker room, Kobe let everyone know how much he enjoyed passing Shaq in the ring department. He did it loudly. Boisterously. Euphorically. With a few expletives. I've heard this story a few different ways, but in each version, Kobe sounded a little like Tupac lighting everyone up at the end of "Hit 'Em Up." But "everyone" was Shaq. You know, a little revenge for the "Tell Me How My Ass Taste" rap. And that's fine. I love this stuff. It warms my heart to know that, in an era in which the league's best players would rather join forces than beat one another, two of the best 12 players of all time still despise each other.

Quick tangent: Please don't tell me you thought Shaq and Kobe made up, or that you were snookered by their nauseating "We're friends again!" routine at the 2009 All-Star Game. Come on. Do you realize that their feud has its own Wikipedia page? You forget how much happened between these two. They butted heads constantly during the last two title seasons, and when Kobe sold Shaq out during his initial Colorado police interview in 2003, that was the final straw. It's been a one-upmanship game ever since. Occasionally, the hatred seeps out. Like "Tell Me How My Ass Taste." Like Kobe being unable to restrain his glee after getting his fifth ring.

Here's what Kobe forgot, or even better, here's what Kobe knew: Shaq played for Los Angeles for eight seasons. He worked with people who still work for the Lakers now. The odds of Kobe's "Hit 'Em Up" routine getting back to Shaq, in some form, was between 100 percent and 100 percent.

And I don't think Shaq liked it. At all. Remember, Shaq could have gone to Greece or Italy, pocketed crazy money ($8 million to $10 million easy, tax-free), gained as much weight as he wanted, traveled Europe, dunked on a bunch of inferior opponents, become America's most beloved basketball export and expanded his brand to another part of the world. I can't imagine his business manager or agent advising him any differently. Come on, you already won four rings. Eight months abroad. We'll bang this out. You could weigh 375 pounds. It won't matter. They're gonna love you whatever you do. You'll be the biggest basketball star in the history of Europe. Hell, maybe you'll like it there. You could play until you're 45. Let's try it. Nope.

O'Neal signed with Boston because "when I close my book at the end of the day, it's all about winning and nothing else." This was someone who told a teammate before the final game of his 2009 Suns season -- when they had just been eliminated from playoff contention -- that he "needed to start getting in shape for my reality show." Game 82 and you need to get in shape? Huh? Now you suddenly care about winning titles again? Now you're fine with swallowing your dignity to be a spare part, a minimum guy, an afterthought, someone with no security at all? Just to chase a ring? When you already have four?

My theory: I think Kobe's postgame routine got back to Shaq. I think it [peeved] him off. I think it got his competitive juices flowing for the first time in years. I think he realized Boston was his best chance to tie Kobe at five. I think he wants this more than anything. I think he shows up next month in surprisingly good shape, and I think we'll be saying in November, "Wow, that Shaq signing may have been a great move by Boston!" And I think this will happen for only one reason: because Shaq hates Kobe and Kobe hates Shaq. Just a theory.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100820

I don't think that the Kobe/Shaq rivalry was the only reason that convinced Shaq to sign with the Celtics (staying on the NBA stage, even for the minimum, is an underrated reason in my opinion, players want to stay in the game as long as possible), but I do think it was a major argument to him, wanting to tie up Kobe in number of rings won and keep their rivalry (and the Lakers/Celtics) rivalry alive and fueled.

[manl_lui]

I agree with the theory that he wanted a shot at Kobe really bad

A. He was motivated to do so last season with the Cavs, the dude averaged like what? 10 and 6 a game for 20-25 minutes...thats not bad

i believe in the playoffs, he did have 2 games where he scored 20...

the dude can still score...watching Shaq playing for the Cavs was better than watching Shaq playing for PHX, he was pretty unmotivated especially Amar'e seem to be affected by Shaq...

Coming here he will play with 3 Future HOFers, a team that stress defense and team unity...

and also, Kobe got his 5th ring and hence him being cocky about it. But hey, how did Kobe exactly got his 5th ring? I believe the ref gave him the ring and not by his team...

he goes on and challenges Shaq

well guess what if i were Shaq id be thinking this

"Ok kobe, you won your 5th ring by cheating, ok im joining the celtics =)" or something like that

[the_Bird]

I do like the idea that the three other teams that seem most poised to battle for the title - LA, Miami, and Orlando - are all teams against which Shaq seems to feel some animosity.  Certainly should make for some good storylines, should things play out as expected next spring. 

Incidentally, do ANYONE except Bill Simmons give a rats' ass about Jennifer Aniston?  Simmons' articles are a helluva lot shorter when you skip over twenty irrelevant, uninteresting paragraphs about that kind of BS.

[Fafnir]

I think Bill Simmons is also underestimating how much money comes into play for Shaq's decision.

He'll make the league minimum for a veteran, but he'll still have a lot of endorsements. Every year he can continue playing and continue to be relevant on a contending NBA team is another year he can extend those endorsments.

He'd still likely have them this year even if he retired, but next year who knows. Signing with Boston extends his earnings winning by another year.

So I'd say money, wanting to keep playing, and potentially beating Kobe all played into his decision. But I doubt beating Kobe was number one. After all if the Hawks had actually offered him their MLE does anyone doubt he'd have gone there?

[Fafnir]

Incidentally, do ANYONE except Bill Simmons give a rats' ass about Jennifer Aniston?  Simmons' articles are a helluva lot shorter when you skip over twenty irrelevant, uninteresting paragraphs about that kind of BS.

Do you ever listen to his podcasts?

He spends about half of his time with reality TV and celebrity. Its clearly an appealling topic to him and some readers. Sometimes its funny, other times you just page down past it or fast forward the podcast.

[Snakehead]

Incidentally, do ANYONE except Bill Simmons give a rats' ass about Jennifer Aniston?  Simmons' articles are a helluva lot shorter when you skip over twenty irrelevant, uninteresting paragraphs about that kind of BS.

Like he says in the article, those who read People magazine do.  But are those the same that read his stuff?  No.  Maybe some like certain other stuff he talks about, but I read Simmons and listen to his BS Report podcast and I skip all his reality TV crap and stuff like this, though some people must like it because he continues that angle.  His mailbag is also terribly cliched and tired.  The man should hang them up if he types "these are my readers" ever again 

I find myself listening to his BS Report shows for the guests mostly too, if he doesn't have a good one the podcast will be terrible.  He provides interesting content but mostly not for him but for who he brings with him, though he can push discussions in interesting directions.  And he did do a good job with the 30 for 30 documentaries, to his credit.

[Fafnir]

Like he says in the article, those who read People magazine do.  But are those the same that read his stuff?  No.

How do you know this?

I don't think ESPN would have him constantly put out reality TV and celebrity themed podcasts and articles if people weren't listening and/or reading it.

I don't think most Celticsblog members care about any of it, but we're not exactly a representitive sample of his readers. We're just Celtics nuts!

[Assassin70]

I just hope he is right.

A highly motivated Shaq plus us paying him short dollars is nothing but a WIN/WIN situation for us.  

I am more excited for this season then I was for last year.  That loss to the Fakers should be enough motivation for EVERYONE in the entire Celtics organization.  But add in the Heat factor and our boys will be hungry.  I predict no lower then the 2 seed.

If we can stay healthy the NBA will be on notice!

[Snakehead]

Like he says in the article, those who read People magazine do.  But are those the same that read his stuff?  No.

How do you know this?

I don't think ESPN would have him constantly put out reality TV and celebrity themed podcasts and articles if people weren't listening and/or reading it.

I don't think most Celticsblog members care about any of it, but we're not exactly a representitive sample of his readers. We're just Celtics nuts!

Yeah you're right, I just edited my post for that, at least I do not like that type of stuff.  I think most serious sports fans don't either, but some must because yes, he continues to cover those topics.  I don't think ESPN tells him to cover these topics though.  He is pretty much allowed to do what he wants.  He wants to cover the topics he does.

But I'd bet his reality TV or celebrity gossip focused podcasts and articles are probably his least downloaded/listened to and read.  I know me and all my friends listen and read Simmons and skip all that jive.

[the_Bird]

Incidentally, do ANYONE except Bill Simmons give a rats' ass about Jennifer Aniston?  Simmons' articles are a helluva lot shorter when you skip over twenty irrelevant, uninteresting paragraphs about that kind of BS.

Do you ever listen to his podcasts?

He spends about half of his time with reality TV and celebrity. Its clearly an appealling topic to him and some readers. Sometimes its funny, other times you just page down past it or fast forward the podcast.

Honestly, I can't listen to his podcasts.  You know the old joke about some guys having a great face for doing radio work?  Simmons has a great voice for writing on the Internet. 

[the_Bird]

I am more excited for this season then I was for last year.  That loss to the Fakers should be enough motivation for EVERYONE in the entire Celtics organization.  But add in the Heat factor and our boys will be hungry.  I predict no lower then the 2 seed.

They showed last year that the seeding is basically irrelevant.  The team played almost as well on the road as they did at home.

Against Miami; 3-0 at home, 1-1 on the road
Cleveland; 2-1 at home, 2-1 on the road
Orlando; 2-1 at home, 2-1 on the road

Now, against LA we lost three games on the road, but I think we all would toss out that third loss as being due to factors other than being on the road (mainly, being without Perk).

So, the team *will* be on notice.  They *will* be fired up.  But, that doesn't mean they'll blow through the regular season.  Hell, they just need the #8 seed, because they aren't scared of going onto ANYONE's home court. 

The lesson of last year - just get to the playoffs healthy, the seeding is far, far less important than having everyone ready to play.  You've got to beat Orlando and Miami and LA anyway.

[Snakehead]

Incidentally, do ANYONE except Bill Simmons give a rats' ass about Jennifer Aniston?  Simmons' articles are a helluva lot shorter when you skip over twenty irrelevant, uninteresting paragraphs about that kind of BS.

Do you ever listen to his podcasts?

He spends about half of his time with reality TV and celebrity. Its clearly an appealling topic to him and some readers. Sometimes its funny, other times you just page down past it or fast forward the podcast.

Honestly, I can't listen to his podcasts.  You know the old joke about some guys having a great face for doing radio work?  Simmons has a great voice for writing on the Internet. 

To his credit he will make that joke himself, but yes he would never of made it in real radio alone.  When he has Klosterman on it is compelling in subjects but not the easiest on the ears  

[ImShakHeIsShaq]

Why does everyone (and their momma) assume Shaq stole Steve's idea for the show (as if someone would tune in to watch Steve battle other athletes instead of a big behemoth w/ personality)? I agree that Steve had the idea but to assume Shaq stole it is crazy... especially since Steve didn't say it and he is credited on the show. If he stole the idea why is Steve still cashing the check for Executive (I think) Producer? If Shaq stole the idea, why would you associate yourself w/ him or the show? Watch  for the credits to see Steve's name!

Shaq came back to:

1) Win #5
2) Get 5 to tie Kobe
3) Money... gotta pay his ex and the kids (all he made so far is about spent, that's the life of an athlete). Yea it's not much money but add that money to 1 and 2, there you go!
4) He wants #5 so he wont be too far behind the other greats.

[GreenFaith1819]

Thanks for post, Drucci.

Shaq signing with us a definitely a win-win - we got him for low $'s, and like Fafnir said - he will make most of his money from endorsements and just playing a couple more yrs.

I'm glad that Drucci posted only Celtics-related info from the article, though. The article seems to trail off into other stuff that's confusing.

Shaq should show up ready to play this year - even more than ever. He knows what's at stake, just like the article stated.

Shaq seems to be a forgotten commodity in Laker land, too. Some Laker fans I chatted with recently seem to think that Kobe had as much to do with the three-peat as Shaq, and this article from ESPN, while funny, states otherwise:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=martin/100813_scottie_pippen_best_sidekicks

Kobe's ranked number 5 all-time for Sidekicks .

Shaq will definitely help us, as will JO. All we need for both of them to do is to hold the fort down until Perk returns and regains his starting job back.

All we need from Shaq is 15-20 tough minutes in relief for Perk once the playoffs roll around again, and that will be enough to put us over the top, especially against LA and ORL.

And when it's all said and done, Shaq's insurance with us will ensure banner 18 for The Celtics, his 5th ring which will further add to his legacy, and reminding Kobe once again to not run his mouth, like he did after LA beat us.

This is good on so many levels, I think.

[fairweatherfan]

Why does everyone (and their momma) assume Shaq stole Steve's idea for the show (as if someone would tune in to watch Steve battle other athletes instead of a big behemoth w/ personality)? I agree that Steve had the idea but to assume Shaq stole it is crazy... especially since Steve didn't say it and he is credited on the show. If he stole the idea why is Steve still cashing the check for Executive (I think) Producer? If Shaq stole the idea, why would you associate yourself w/ him or the show? Watch  for the credits to see Steve's name!

Shaq came back to:

1) Win #5
2) Get 5 to tie Kobe
3) Money... gotta pay his ex and the kids (all he made so far is about spent, that's the life of an athlete). Yea it's not much money but add that money to 1 and 2, there you go!
4) He wants #5 so he wont be too far behind the other greats.

Shaq, is that you?  I hope you're posting from a treadmill.