Wow. That's got to be the most unrealistic "guarantee" I've ever seen. Sorry, Dan, it's not happening.
I see the entertainment value in this, I guess, but I think it's unprofessional. (And no, I don't think Lebron is very professional, either.) It was the Cavs who chose to cater to a superstar, giving him influence over the coaching staff, player acquisitions, and plays run on the court. It was the Cavs who compromised their roster in a misguided attempt to appease Lebron. To now come out and mock him for his ego and his need to be "King", when they fed and enabled that ego, seems a bit hypocritical.
In short, screw the Cavs. They got what was coming to them.