« Reply #78 on: April 07, 2010, 04:00:33 PM »
Thanks for taking my advice FWF!
Too bad I was too lazy to start this thread myself.
A big TP for you! 
Thanks, TP back for the inspiration.
I'll start with the age-old debate: what is the proper way to hang toilet paper? You see, some people - we'll call them "Patriots" - have made the intelligent and moral decision to hang their toilet paper so that it dispenses over the roll. Others - we'll call them "DIRTY HEATHEN COMMIES" - have chosen to give in to stupidity and vice and defy God's law by hanging their toilet paper so it dispenses un**r the roll (obscene term partially censored in case children are viewing). Here is a wee illustration:
I submit to you that these "un**r-lovers" are EVIL and UNNATURAL, and wish to tear our society apart from the bottom up! If we allow these traitors in our midst to continue their abominable practices, what next? Mayhem in the streets, dogs lying down with cats, and unadulterated anarchy is what! This is the thin end of the wedge, people, and if we don't take a stand now, someday we'll sit back with our grandkids and tell them melancholy tales of how the world was once free.
Disagree with me? Well, BRING IT!
The whole premise of your argument is faulty and stems from a narrow-minded view of the world. If you pulled your head out long enough to apply some logic (which is, apparently, asking too much)you would realize that OVER or UNDER is not the issue.
The only correct American way to hang the paper is perpendicular to the wall...not parallel like some Euro-pansy or Canadian.
The only question then is whether the paper should unroll toward you or away from you. The answer to that should be painfully obvious to any right-thinking person, and I am not about to enter into that discussion with the likes of YOU!!!
Ooh, you are just SO EDGY, aren't you?? With your high-falutin outside-the-box paper placement? You stick your nose any higher in the air and you'll drown the next time it rains. And that is SCIENCE FACT.
As far as your ludicrous TP positioning, you may think you're above it all, but you're JUST AS BAD as the people you claim to despise. When you hang your toilet paper perpendicularly, where does the last bit on the edge of the roll go? Well, if I remember my chemistry, gravity is gonna pull that little guy DOWN. And sooner or later, where does it end up? Smack in that sinful little valley we call un**r the roll!!! Deny it all you want, but you are one of THEM, hiding in plain sight!! QED WHAT
Just the sort of response I'd expect from a parallel-hanging over-roller. The thing that amazes me most is that you even use toilet paper, since your family is barely two generations into walking upright.
Why don't you stick to talking about things you understand, like ...uhhh...nothing.
Oh helloooo Mr Ad Hominem! For your information, my grandfather walked upright just fine, and my great-grandfather was known on several occasions to shamble quite bipedally toward sudden changes in light. Perhaps you'd have more time to craft pathetic "put-DOWNs" (get it???) if you weren't whiling your life away in the bathroom, presumably sporting a top hat and extended pinky, wasting the SECONDS and SECONDS that are every un**r-hanger's cruel and constant reminder that reality does not bow to perversion.
And I see you've said NOTHING to deny your status as a dirty un**r-lover, which just shows that on some level you know it to be true. It's just a shame you're so deep in the linen closet that you can't see it yourself.
Ad Hominem, huh? I'll have you know I am straight!
And the fact that I spend as much time in the bathroom as I do just makes me more qualified than you to render judgment in these areas. My experience and seniority, as well as my status as a loyal American trump your weak assertions of the propriety of your position.
All that aside, perhaps we can agree on one thing.
MattG12 and Redz are the personification of evil with their advocacy of putting the paper on the floor. Why? It should be obvious.
In complete violation of the spirit of the thread, I must admit a grudging respect for you, Sir, although I will NEVER respect your choice. I consider myself a moderate and believe un**r-hangers should have the right to practice their abomination in the privacy of their own home, provided they have no children and do not attempt to mingle with their betters. TP for a spirited and utterly pointless debate.
And I agree with you that Matt and Redz are both worse than Hitler.
And a TP to you as well, even though there is not a chance that you will hang it properly, so to speak.
Logged
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking." - George S. Patton
"Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity,they think of you." - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Topic: The Argue About Nothing Thread (Read 51143 times)