Nasty Breakup

[angryguy77]

first sorry

second if you're still in college (as I think you are from your profile indicates - daladiesman, you slick dog you haha), in a few years you'll look back and think why did I date this girl for so long.  I dated a girl end of freshman year through 1st year out (lived together in the last year) and after we broke up (quasi-nasty) I was a little sad, but now looking back I realize how much I missed out on in college in those years

time will heal

go have some fun

Exactly. Enjoy the college years as they are some of the best you will ever have. It sucks to lose someone you care about, but there are others that you will meet.

[stoyko]

To keep your mind off it, stay busy. Hang out with friends and family. Take up the hobby you've been meaning to try. The more you do, the less time you'll have to mope.

[bdm860]

Perhaps there are some positives here, though which may ease the pain in a small way. If I were one of your personal buddies that you hung with on a regular basis, I would never say this to you for fear of irreparably harming our relationship if you got back with her, but since I'm not, I don't have that concern, so I'll say it: maybe you were just dealt a winning hand by the big guy up above (or the fates or blind luck or whatever else you do or don't believe in)to have this relationship end. There could be many reasons for this to be eventually perceived to be fortuitous. One is the bipolar issue and the other is that this will free you to potentially meet your true soul mate.

I was about to say this myself.  For me I find the best way is to focus on the past negatives that are now new positives.  Don't have to deal with the bi-polar issue, don't have to deal with her bad habit of (fill in the blank), I always hated it when she did (fill in the blank), etc.

This combined with the fact that I always ended up finding someone better always helped me when I was heart broken.

Man the girl I was into when I was 15 I thought she was awesome, but then the girl I had fallen hard for at 18 made that other girl seem like nothing.  But then the girl I started dating at 21 man she blew all the other girls out of the water, then the girl I met 6 months after we broker up, she made me forget all about those other girls.  The girl I'm dating now, wow she's 100x's better than those past girls I thought could be the one...

Just remember if it wasn't meant to be with that girl, that means there's someone even better for you.


One question though, how long were you two together, how long have you known her for?

[Ohio Celtics Fan]

Perhaps there are some positives here, though which may ease the pain in a small way. If I were one of your personal buddies that you hung with on a regular basis, I would never say this to you for fear of irreparably harming our relationship if you got back with her, but since I'm not, I don't have that concern, so I'll say it: maybe you were just dealt a winning hand by the big guy up above (or the fates or blind luck or whatever else you do or don't believe in)to have this relationship end. There could be many reasons for this to be eventually perceived to be fortuitous. One is the bipolar issue and the other is that this will free you to potentially meet your true soul mate.

I was about to say this myself.  For me I find the best way is to focus on the past negatives that are now new positives.  Don't have to deal with the bi-polar issue, don't have to deal with her bad habit of (fill in the blank), I always hated it when she did (fill in the blank), etc.

This combined with the fact that I always ended up finding someone better always helped me when I was heart broken.

Man the girl I was into when I was 15 I thought she was awesome, but then the girl I had fallen hard for at 18 made that other girl seem like nothing.  But then the girl I started dating at 21 man she blew all the other girls out of the water, then the girl I met 6 months after we broker up, she made me forget all about those other girls.  The girl I'm dating now, wow she's 100x's better than those past girls I thought could be the one...

Just remember if it wasn't meant to be with that girl, that means there's someone even better for you.


One question though, how long were you two together, how long have you known her for?

We were together for a year and 7 months, known each other for 2 years. We met at college.

[Eja117]

My experience is thus.

Thank God that you don't do what I and at least one other poster here with 10,000 plus posts did....spend waaaayyy too many years with this person. For me it was 4.5 and him it was 6 I think.

Take the good with the bad. Bipolar can be hell. You did your best.

Thank God you may have more than one college girlfriend.

Take a few months for you. Relax. Play the video games you wanted to. Read the book you wanted to. Yadda yadd.

Don't....overcompensate in other areas of life. Don't think you'll try to hit the gym and become Arnold and spend too much money on supplements and energy pills that make it impossible to sleep at night and then you can't work during the day.

Do......start being nice to chicks that you sorta always had an attraction to.   Ever wanted to date a Native American? Ever wanted to date a middle East chick?  Soon enough you get your chance! 

[Eja117]

Also feel free to aim high. I hear the senator's daughter is available

[Ohio Celtics Fan]

Also feel free to aim high. I hear the senator's daughter in available

Lol, thanks for the humor.

[housecall]

Set yourself some new goals for the future that will possible replace some of the ones that you made with her.If you rent,sometimes changing to a new environment of living space will help.If you spend time going to the same places and doing the same things you once shared with her,it probably will take a lot longer to forget.

[Reggie's Ghost]

I'm sorry for your experience.  Read "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho.  Let time do its thing.  Good luck.

http://www.amazon.com/Alchemist-Paulo-Coelho/dp/0061122416/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268594886&sr=8-1

[indeedproceed]

Watch Swingers. Go get drunk with your friends.

Don't talk about her after the first week. You'll want to. You'll feel like you should. Don't. You'll end up clinging to your pain like a crutch.

Just mope around for a week or so, then start pretending everything is okay. Eventually, you will stop pretending.

[Eja117]

Don't go to a gentlemen's club. Not in your state. First off it's a misnomer. They aren't actually gentlemen in there. Second it's a trap.  You will leave with a lot less money and not much to show for it. Probably not even decent memories. It will actually make you feel worse. Baaaaaddd idea.

Beer and wine? Maybe.

Club or even internet for that matter? No

Spring break? maybe


Also there's probably that one thing you've wanted to do so bad for like 2 years now that you couldn't and now you can. Like grow a beard or something. That helps

[dark_lord]

there is some pretty good advise in the thread so far.  one thing i would add is try to begin a new hobby, preferably something challenging or something u have always wanted to do.  if you are into it, it will engulf u.  i have played bball my entire life (in my 30's now), year round....town leagues, aau, high school, college.  it consumed my life and it has always been my passion.  but while i did it, there was a part of me that always wanted to study kung fu.

last summer i began taking classes, it has had a tremendous positive impact for me.  it is truly a passion of mine and i wish i had started it 10 years ago. 

by starting something new, specifically if it is challenging and something ur interested in, it helps motivate u.  it will take you mind off of negativity, as it is a positive adventure.

just my 2 cents.

[Ohio Celtics Fan]

Just wanted to say thanks to all of you that are recent additions to the thread, I really appreciate all of your guys help and advice. You've all had excellent suggestions and I'm definitely taking it to heart.

[Eja117]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikjmz_SlGhg
HA! guy gay trap!

[Eja117]

Oooohhh. New strategy.

Take one of your favorite funny characters from TV like say Jack from 40 Rock and pretend to be him for like 3 days.

Say stuff like "Well this is...unexpected. I haven't been dumped by a beotch since I couldn't find my Lady and the Tramp stuffed animal Lady when I was 3"


Or be Dwight from the Office and be like "Well I'm glad I'm not with her now because she was a prime candidate for Ebola Virus. How do I know? Oh I know. I know"