Best. Blogpost. Ever.

[Michael Anthony]

I do not know why, but I felt a need to share this article with you, fellow CelticsBlog reader:

http://deadspin.com/5424415/sitters-vs-standers--the-great-wipe-hope

[moiso]

Wow.  That is quite the article.  One question left unanswered- how do the the sitters know when they are done wiping?  If they pull the toilet paper out to check it, it seems like there would be a possiblity of scraping dirty toilet paper across your clean butt cheeks.

[Michael Anthony]

Should I have setup a poll at the top of this thread?

[Bahku]

Despite being completely wiped out at the moment, and feeling a bit flushed, I just had to reply to this in my own cheeky fashion ... I'm not about to take this sitting down, because frankly, I can't stand such discussions ... they're a bit hard to handle! Since I feel like I'm on a roll here, I'll stop stall-ing and get to the butt of the subject: There's something about this article that just plain stinks ... I think it's a crappy way to start a thread and maybe it ought to be tanked. Excuse me, but I suddenly feel the need to wash my hands ... bowl-ing anyone?

[Michael Anthony]

Despite being completely wiped out at the moment, and feeling a bit flushed, I just had to reply to this in my own cheeky fashion ... I'm not about to take this sitting down, because frankly, I can't stand such discussions ... they're a bit hard to handle! Since I feel like I'm on a roll here, I'll stop stall-ing and get to the butt of the subject: There's something about this article that just plain stinks ... I think it's a crappy way to start a thread and maybe it ought to be tanked. Excuse me, but I suddenly feel the need to wash my hands ... bowl-ing anyone?

(Raucous Applause)

[Redz]

Yup, I was totally unaware that standing was an option.

[cdif911]

great article, but it didn't answer what to do when I get water on my crotch from washing my hands and it looks like I peed myself.... if only someone could figure out that great mystery of life

[cdif911]

I'm a stander, except at work...btw

[Amonkey]

I don't know where I am since I don't completely stand up, I do a half squat type of thing.  The bathroom move that really gets me are the people that'll go to a public bathroom, barely wipe the seat and sit on it, with straight skin contact with the seat.  I don't actually see this, but if I am on the stall next door, I can sense that since somebody will just go in, wipe and sit.  It usually takes me at least 60 seconds to completely clean the sit so there is no wet spots and then place a two layer sheet of toilet paper until it is deemed safe to sit.

[Redz]

great article, but it didn't answer what to do when I get water on my crotch from washing my hands and it looks like I peed myself.... if only someone could figure out that great mystery of life

There are too directions you can work with that one,

1) You actually peed yourself a bit, so you need to intentionally spill a silly amount of water on your crotch so that you can simply pass it off as a faucet splash.

or

2)  You have a legit water splash, so why not seize the opportunity and just pee you pants (again passing it off as simply a water splash).

Either way, it's really a win-win.

I say just start your day with soiled pants and go with it.

[cdif911]

great article, but it didn't answer what to do when I get water on my crotch from washing my hands and it looks like I peed myself.... if only someone could figure out that great mystery of life

There are too directions you can work with that one,

1) You actually peed yourself a bit, so you need to intentionally spill a silly amount of water on your crotch so that you can simply pass it off as a faucet splash.

or

2)  You have a legit water splash, so why not seize the opportunity and just pee you pants (again passing it off as simply a water splash).

Either way, it's really a win-win.

I say just start your day with soiled pants and go with it.

legit laughter on the second option redz, you never cease to amaze me...

[cdif911]

if peeing your pants is cool, call me Miles Davis

[fairweatherfan]

if peeing your pants is cool, call me Miles Davis

You better believe that's a TP.  Congrats on 700!

Personally I used to be a stander until my friends saw me in a public bathroom and told me I was the only person on earth that did it that way.  So I tried sitting out and have used it since.  Good to see I wasn't alone though.

[Amonkey]

No matter if you are a stander or sitter, 100% of us look at the toilet paper after wiping.

[action781]

No matter if you are a stander or sitter, 100% of us look at the toilet paper after wiping.

I never used to look until college.  Was in the middle of some conversation probably about bathroom issues and I felt the need to comment that I wiped myself 3 times after doing the dirty deed.  A friend then said, "wait, the same amount every time?  what if thats not enough?"  i was confused and he clarified "i mean what if on the third wipe there's still something on it?" and i replied "what do you mean?  you LOOK at your toilet paper after you wipe?" i was grossed out to think that people actually looked at their feces face to face after wiping.  then i started looking after the third wipe and realized it is necessary in a the procedure.