parenting test

[Birdbrain]

My 7 year old has been on a serious making obnoxious noises and comments spree of late.  A little here and there is one thing but the constant barrage is too much.  My wife gave the age old threat of washing her mouth out with soap if she made the horrible noise she's been repeatedly making again. 

She, of course, did do it again, and now the specter of carrying out the threat was right in front.  Now, we don't want to wash our child's mouth out with soap for real and she knows this. 

So my wife and I are discussing an alternative solution and our four year comes walking in with a big poop eating grin holding a container of liquid soap  .

Anyhow, we ended up taking away her Webkinz for the weekend (she actually asked if she could get the soap in the mouth instead, so I knew we'd made a good choice).

Point is, there's a whole lot of adjusting and adapting on the fly parenting.  You can't always be a rock, because your kids are equal to the task.

Not sure where that falls under testing...

Instead of punishing or threatening a child (washing your mouth out with soap) for making some silly obnoxious remark, why not play with them and get them involved in an activity (play a board game, play hide and seek, play an instrument, play a sport), because surly all they want is your time.


Oh, and I wasn't criticizing you, just pointing out what I wish I would see with parenting in general off of your anecdote.


Life is short: Obnoxious remarks, swearing, fights, etc. are hardly worth sending a child to his room for. All any parent needs to make sure is that their child knows the difference between right and wrong. Then, you let the child decide and figure things out by themselves. Raising a moral child who knows the difference between right and wrong, and a child who has the thirst for knowledge is very easily accomplished without every "punishing" one. It just takes time and effort. Saying, "go to your room!" is incredibly old fashion and children raised from that school of thought will be easily wiped out intellectually by children raised from more progressive parental thought.

The old school way was better just like in most things.  You are headed for a spoiled child. 

[Birdbrain]

PS Don't be friends with your kids, that's something else parents need to understand before they have them.  It's perfectly ok for them to like you, but you didn't have kids to expand your social circle

Exactly that's new age concept.  Of course none of this has anything do with the total lack of respect kids have now a days...

[Redz]

My 7 year old has been on a serious making obnoxious noises and comments spree of late.  A little here and there is one thing but the constant barrage is too much.  My wife gave the age old threat of washing her mouth out with soap if she made the horrible noise she's been repeatedly making again. 

She, of course, did do it again, and now the specter of carrying out the threat was right in front.  Now, we don't want to wash our child's mouth out with soap for real and she knows this. 

So my wife and I are discussing an alternative solution and our four year comes walking in with a big poop eating grin holding a container of liquid soap  .

Anyhow, we ended up taking away her Webkinz for the weekend (she actually asked if she could get the soap in the mouth instead, so I knew we'd made a good choice).

Point is, there's a whole lot of adjusting and adapting on the fly parenting.  You can't always be a rock, because your kids are equal to the task.

Not sure where that falls under testing...

Instead of punishing or threatening a child (washing your mouth out with soap) for making some silly obnoxious remark, why not play with them and get them involved in an activity (play a board game, play hide and seek, play an instrument, play a sport), because surly all they want is your time.


Oh, and I wasn't criticizing you, just pointing out what I wish I would see with parenting in general off of your anecdote.


Life is short: Obnoxious remarks, swearing, fights, etc. are hardly worth sending a child to his room for. All any parent needs to make sure is that their child knows the difference between right and wrong. Then, you let the child decide and figure things out by themselves. Raising a moral child who knows the difference between right and wrong, and a child who has the thirst for knowledge is very easily accomplished without every "punishing" one. It just takes time and effort. Saying, "go to your room!" is incredibly old fashion and children raised from that school of thought will be easily wiped out intellectually by children raised from more progressive parental thought.

The old school way was better just like in most things.  You are headed for a spoiled child. 

The thing we're running into more and more as my daughter gets more and more exposed to peer pressure and all that lovely stuff of growing up, is she sees herself being treated differently than a lot of kids and asks "Why?".  We tell her it's up to the other kids parents what their rules are, but she needs to abide by ours.

It's not easy.  I don't feel like we're nearly as strict as my parents were, but I find we're way much stricter than most.  Then again, I also see my daughters as much better well behaved and polite than most.  My wife and I don't necessarily get to enjoy the benefits directly with the way they act around us, but it is gratifying to see how they behave in restaurants, libraries, airports...etc...

[cdif911]

My 7 year old has been on a serious making obnoxious noises and comments spree of late.  A little here and there is one thing but the constant barrage is too much.  My wife gave the age old threat of washing her mouth out with soap if she made the horrible noise she's been repeatedly making again. 

She, of course, did do it again, and now the specter of carrying out the threat was right in front.  Now, we don't want to wash our child's mouth out with soap for real and she knows this. 

So my wife and I are discussing an alternative solution and our four year comes walking in with a big poop eating grin holding a container of liquid soap  .

Anyhow, we ended up taking away her Webkinz for the weekend (she actually asked if she could get the soap in the mouth instead, so I knew we'd made a good choice).

Point is, there's a whole lot of adjusting and adapting on the fly parenting.  You can't always be a rock, because your kids are equal to the task.

Not sure where that falls under testing...

Instead of punishing or threatening a child (washing your mouth out with soap) for making some silly obnoxious remark, why not play with them and get them involved in an activity (play a board game, play hide and seek, play an instrument, play a sport), because surly all they want is your time.


Oh, and I wasn't criticizing you, just pointing out what I wish I would see with parenting in general off of your anecdote.


Life is short: Obnoxious remarks, swearing, fights, etc. are hardly worth sending a child to his room for. All any parent needs to make sure is that their child knows the difference between right and wrong. Then, you let the child decide and figure things out by themselves. Raising a moral child who knows the difference between right and wrong, and a child who has the thirst for knowledge is very easily accomplished without every "punishing" one. It just takes time and effort. Saying, "go to your room!" is incredibly old fashion and children raised from that school of thought will be easily wiped out intellectually by children raised from more progressive parental thought.

The old school way was better just like in most things.  You are headed for a spoiled child. 

I prefer the word "entitled" - entitled kids have trouble in so many situations because they feel they are better than others and deserve the world.  Imagine not getting a trophy for playing soccer even if your team finished last?  Imagine a teacher pointing out an error in your writing? 

New studies show that high self esteem leads to bullying, one of the biggest problems in schools today.  Kids who think they are better than others are the ones who bully, not those who don't like themselves.

[BballTim]

My 7 year old has been on a serious making obnoxious noises and comments spree of late.  A little here and there is one thing but the constant barrage is too much.  My wife gave the age old threat of washing her mouth out with soap if she made the horrible noise she's been repeatedly making again. 

She, of course, did do it again, and now the specter of carrying out the threat was right in front.  Now, we don't want to wash our child's mouth out with soap for real and she knows this. 

So my wife and I are discussing an alternative solution and our four year comes walking in with a big poop eating grin holding a container of liquid soap  .

Anyhow, we ended up taking away her Webkinz for the weekend (she actually asked if she could get the soap in the mouth instead, so I knew we'd made a good choice).

Point is, there's a whole lot of adjusting and adapting on the fly parenting.  You can't always be a rock, because your kids are equal to the task.

Not sure where that falls under testing...

Instead of punishing or threatening a child (washing your mouth out with soap) for making some silly obnoxious remark, why not play with them and get them involved in an activity (play a board game, play hide and seek, play an instrument, play a sport), because surly all they want is your time.


Oh, and I wasn't criticizing you, just pointing out what I wish I would see with parenting in general off of your anecdote.


Life is short: Obnoxious remarks, swearing, fights, etc. are hardly worth sending a child to his room for. All any parent needs to make sure is that their child knows the difference between right and wrong. Then, you let the child decide and figure things out by themselves. Raising a moral child who knows the difference between right and wrong, and a child who has the thirst for knowledge is very easily accomplished without every "punishing" one. It just takes time and effort. Saying, "go to your room!" is incredibly old fashion and children raised from that school of thought will be easily wiped out intellectually by children raised from more progressive parental thought.

The old school way was better just like in most things.  You are headed for a spoiled child. 

The thing we're running into more and more as my daughter gets more and more exposed to peer pressure and all that lovely stuff of growing up, is she sees herself being treated differently than a lot of kids and asks "Why?".  We tell her it's up to the other kids parents what their rules are, but she needs to abide by ours.

It's not easy.  I don't feel like we're nearly as strict as my parents were, but I find we're way much stricter than most.  Then again, I also see my daughters as much better well behaved and polite than most.  My wife and I don't necessarily get to enjoy the benefits directly with the way they act around us, but it is gratifying to see how they behave in restaurants, libraries, airports...etc...

  I don't know if it's more children fibbing about how their parents treat them to each other or children fibbing about how their friends are treated at home, but it's pretty much universally true that you'll hear that all the other children are treated better than yours. I think that, growing up, my kids were the only ones in town with bedtimes. They were also the only ones who ever had to do a chore, and practically the only ones that weren't gifted with cars when they got their licenses.

[BballTim]

My 7 year old has been on a serious making obnoxious noises and comments spree of late.  A little here and there is one thing but the constant barrage is too much.  My wife gave the age old threat of washing her mouth out with soap if she made the horrible noise she's been repeatedly making again. 

She, of course, did do it again, and now the specter of carrying out the threat was right in front.  Now, we don't want to wash our child's mouth out with soap for real and she knows this. 

So my wife and I are discussing an alternative solution and our four year comes walking in with a big poop eating grin holding a container of liquid soap  .

Anyhow, we ended up taking away her Webkinz for the weekend (she actually asked if she could get the soap in the mouth instead, so I knew we'd made a good choice).

Point is, there's a whole lot of adjusting and adapting on the fly parenting.  You can't always be a rock, because your kids are equal to the task.

Not sure where that falls under testing...

Instead of punishing or threatening a child (washing your mouth out with soap) for making some silly obnoxious remark, why not play with them and get them involved in an activity (play a board game, play hide and seek, play an instrument, play a sport), because surly all they want is your time.


Oh, and I wasn't criticizing you, just pointing out what I wish I would see with parenting in general off of your anecdote.


Life is short: Obnoxious remarks, swearing, fights, etc. are hardly worth sending a child to his room for. All any parent needs to make sure is that their child knows the difference between right and wrong. Then, you let the child decide and figure things out by themselves. Raising a moral child who knows the difference between right and wrong, and a child who has the thirst for knowledge is very easily accomplished without every "punishing" one. It just takes time and effort. Saying, "go to your room!" is incredibly old fashion and children raised from that school of thought will be easily wiped out intellectually by children raised from more progressive parental thought.

  Two things that kids need to learn (not the only two or the most important two) are that some forms of behavior are not acceptable and that actions can have consequences.

[cdif911]

My 7 year old has been on a serious making obnoxious noises and comments spree of late.  A little here and there is one thing but the constant barrage is too much.  My wife gave the age old threat of washing her mouth out with soap if she made the horrible noise she's been repeatedly making again. 

She, of course, did do it again, and now the specter of carrying out the threat was right in front.  Now, we don't want to wash our child's mouth out with soap for real and she knows this. 

So my wife and I are discussing an alternative solution and our four year comes walking in with a big poop eating grin holding a container of liquid soap  .

Anyhow, we ended up taking away her Webkinz for the weekend (she actually asked if she could get the soap in the mouth instead, so I knew we'd made a good choice).

Point is, there's a whole lot of adjusting and adapting on the fly parenting.  You can't always be a rock, because your kids are equal to the task.

Not sure where that falls under testing...

Instead of punishing or threatening a child (washing your mouth out with soap) for making some silly obnoxious remark, why not play with them and get them involved in an activity (play a board game, play hide and seek, play an instrument, play a sport), because surly all they want is your time.


Oh, and I wasn't criticizing you, just pointing out what I wish I would see with parenting in general off of your anecdote.


Life is short: Obnoxious remarks, swearing, fights, etc. are hardly worth sending a child to his room for. All any parent needs to make sure is that their child knows the difference between right and wrong. Then, you let the child decide and figure things out by themselves. Raising a moral child who knows the difference between right and wrong, and a child who has the thirst for knowledge is very easily accomplished without every "punishing" one. It just takes time and effort. Saying, "go to your room!" is incredibly old fashion and children raised from that school of thought will be easily wiped out intellectually by children raised from more progressive parental thought.

  Two things that kids need to learn (not the only two or the most important two) are that some forms of behavior are not acceptable and that actions can have consequences.

absolutely - also you can't win all the time; how you respond to both winning and losing are the important things.  In the real world, everyone doesn't get a trophy

[Birdbrain]

My 7 year old has been on a serious making obnoxious noises and comments spree of late.  A little here and there is one thing but the constant barrage is too much.  My wife gave the age old threat of washing her mouth out with soap if she made the horrible noise she's been repeatedly making again. 

She, of course, did do it again, and now the specter of carrying out the threat was right in front.  Now, we don't want to wash our child's mouth out with soap for real and she knows this. 

So my wife and I are discussing an alternative solution and our four year comes walking in with a big poop eating grin holding a container of liquid soap  .

Anyhow, we ended up taking away her Webkinz for the weekend (she actually asked if she could get the soap in the mouth instead, so I knew we'd made a good choice).

Point is, there's a whole lot of adjusting and adapting on the fly parenting.  You can't always be a rock, because your kids are equal to the task.

Not sure where that falls under testing...

Instead of punishing or threatening a child (washing your mouth out with soap) for making some silly obnoxious remark, why not play with them and get them involved in an activity (play a board game, play hide and seek, play an instrument, play a sport), because surly all they want is your time.


Oh, and I wasn't criticizing you, just pointing out what I wish I would see with parenting in general off of your anecdote.


Life is short: Obnoxious remarks, swearing, fights, etc. are hardly worth sending a child to his room for. All any parent needs to make sure is that their child knows the difference between right and wrong. Then, you let the child decide and figure things out by themselves. Raising a moral child who knows the difference between right and wrong, and a child who has the thirst for knowledge is very easily accomplished without every "punishing" one. It just takes time and effort. Saying, "go to your room!" is incredibly old fashion and children raised from that school of thought will be easily wiped out intellectually by children raised from more progressive parental thought.

The old school way was better just like in most things.  You are headed for a spoiled child. 

I prefer the word "entitled" - entitled kids have trouble in so many situations because they feel they are better than others and deserve the world.  Imagine not getting a trophy for playing soccer even if your team finished last?  Imagine a teacher pointing out an error in your writing? 

New studies show that high self esteem leads to bullying, one of the biggest problems in schools today.  Kids who think they are better than others are the ones who bully, not those who don't like themselves.

Good point.  Entitled is a more apt term. 

[Eja117]

thread of year nomination?

[FLCeltsFan]

Rather than a test for first time parents, I think a class would be better.  Way too many people have no idea what they are getting into when they have a baby and have no idea how to handle it. 

[Eja117]

Rather than a test for first time parents, I think a class would be better.  Way too many people have no idea what they are getting into when they have a baby and have no idea how to handle it. 

Parenting and toddlerhood and common issues would have helped me way more in that birthing class that learning how to take care of an infant.

Infants only cry, take dumps, eat, sleep, and cry not necessarily in that order. They are absurdly easy.

It's once they start being able to get their hands on stuff you can't move out of the way that causes issues.

I need this thread like every day. I thought of it weeks ago.

Like how do I get my kid to stop waking up at 5:30am (so if you notice me cranky ---a ha!)

[cdif911]

[cdif911]

[Neurotic Guy]

The old school way was better just like in most things.  You are headed for a spoiled child. 

I prefer the word "entitled" - entitled kids have trouble in so many situations because they feel they are better than others and deserve the world.  Imagine not getting a trophy for playing soccer even if your team finished last?  Imagine a teacher pointing out an error in your writing? 

New studies show that high self esteem leads to bullying, one of the biggest problems in schools today.  Kids who think they are better than others are the ones who bully, not those who don't like themselves.
[/quote]

Careful about 2 things:
1) 'Old School' is in the eye of the beholder.  Some may hear old school and think 'children should be seen and not heard'.  In other words, disrespected and disregarded.  Also, some may hear 'old school' and think harsh, physical punishment (like I got) and fear of father and/or mother.  I don't think either of these 'old school' methods are necessary for raising well-behaved, kind and moral children. 'New school' may mean to you being submissive or allowing children to do as they please  -- however, 'new school' to me means very involved, structured, positive and loving in high doses, but clear, consistent and persistent in the teaching and modeling and expectation of decency.  It does mean holding the line on many of the things some children/teens feel entitled to, but it also means doing so with respect, firmness and kindness.  An example of holding the line -- my chidren didn't watch PG-13 movies until they were 13 (unlike most of their friends), however, it was quite easy to hold that line and other parents were always very respectful of our family's rules.  I would not call anything we do 'old school' in that it is very different than the parenting either my wife or I received.

2) Be careful about the study (and I only know of 1) that says bullies have high self-esteem.  There are conveniently close descriptors for narcisism, entitlement and arrogance that 'look like' high self-esteem but are nothing of the sort.  In truth, most studies I have seen show that bullies act out their own feelings of lack of power (often feel mistreated, neglected or not in control in aspects of their lives) and bullying satisfies the need for power and control (a normal human need).  Don't be fooled into thinking that meaningless things like 'trophies for participation' cause low self-esteem (or high self-esteem for that matter) or have any connection to bullying.  Generally, such things have little impact as compared with so many other more influential things in children's lives.

[bdm860]

Whatever it takes so these people don't have kids, I'm all for it.



I'm just glad both parents realized the importance of helmets for THEMSELVES.  Safety First. 







edit:  can'y have the nudy bdm...but that's definitely not a fine example of parenting - redz