Informal Meaningless Contest (IMC): Find me the wierdest phrase!

[indeedproceed]

So I'm listening to this show on NPR, and there is this guy calling in. The show looks at languages quirks and what not and the guy has a question. According to him, he had a boss in the 60's who had a particular phrase. Whenever he wanted to move a topic along he would say "Well, a wet bird never flies at night."

THe man went though the next 40 years of his life wondering what that meant. After the boss would say it, everyone in the room would nod in agreement. He never found out what a wet bird refusing to fly at night had to do with moving a topic along.

I finally found out what it meant. Pretty interesting stuff.

My question to you is; what is the strangest/goofiest phrase you know of? Also, if you know its etymology of it, I will award bonus TP's.

If the phrase has something to do with basketball, or is Irish in origin, bonus TP's. One entry per person, google searchers are traitors!

[indeedproceed]

I will start.
"Bright as a dog"

I have a friend whos father loves to compare things to dogs. Now i've heard of "cold as a dog's nose", and even "wet as a dog's nose", but never, ever "It's as windy as a dog out right now!"

Then there are the old standards. "Hot as a dog out today!" "Rainy as a dog out!"

But my favorite, my utter and complete favorite is "Bright as a dog"

"Bright as a dog?" What does that even mean? Do people have such an unreasonable need to compare one thing to another thing that just anything will do?

[the_Bird]

There's eight million of them in Tom Waits lyrics.  One that comes to mind immediately is "colder than a welldigger's [behind]."

[indeedproceed]

There's eight million of them in Tom Waits lyrics.  One that comes to mind immediately is "colder than a welldigger's [behind]."

That kinda makes sense I guess. I can't imagine it's too warm down there.

[indeedproceed]

1? we got 1? I expected better.

[RAcker]

"She's as cockeyed as Cooter Brown"

[Edgar]

more crazy than the  7 little goats.

I mean are they really crazy? anyone hear the story before?

[Roy Hobbs]

"Dumb as a box of hammers".  Are hammers really dumb?

"Cool beans" is a nonsensical one, too.  What's so great about cool beans?

[Neurotic Guy]

"Bob's Your Uncle"

[Mencius]

Weird phrases are things up with which I will not put!!!

[fairweatherfan]

"Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle".  I used to think this started off as some sort of dig at the theory of evolution (or a sibling-in-law), but then I realized it's kinda backwards for that.  So I have no idea.

Oh, and one of the best lines from White Men Can't Jump: "You can put a cat in the oven, but that don't make it a biscuit."

[MattG12]

"Dead as a doornail"

"Raining cats and dogs"

[RAcker]

"Dropping the kids off at the pool"
"Pinching a loaf"
"Laying cable"

Okay, this was gross, but couldn't resist. I'll stop now.

[Gomesfan]

-Useless as tit's on a bull


-You thought it was a tree.....but it was a forest

But this is the best and weirdess I know and it comes from my Dad.......

"Pu$$(you can ad the Y) is a funny thing, it makes a man a fool it takes away his troubles and wears away his tool, he rolls on like a lion and rolls off like a lamb........Once he zips up his pants he ain't worth a go[dang]"

Thanks for the advice Dad !!LoL

[EJPLAYA]

I always heard it as colder than a witches tit in a brass bra. The welldigger was "It's hotter than a welldiggers crack out here" ( I dug wells one summer in AZ and I can tell you cold wasn't the right answer...)

There's more than one way to skin a cat. (What kind of sick sucker even knows ONE way to skin one)

"If Frog's had wings they wouldn't bump their butts when they jumped"