Yeah, Stan's missing the point, and he's doing so on purpose.
What Alston did, whether provoked or not, was an action that occurred outside of the action of a play and could not be construed as anything besides physical contact meant to elicit some kind of response (a fight). As such, you can't really justify what Alston did at all.
You can justify what Rondo did, as it was a desperation foul at the end of a game and though a hard foul it clearly wasn't meant to injure or cause lasting harm, just prevent a basket from being made.
In other words, the severity of Rondo's foul was largely unintentional, while Alston's intention was extremely plain in slapping Eddie on the back of the head.