I don't know how many noticed but I got a couple of PMs and a couple of comments regarding my return to the Current Events forum this past weekend. I did it for a specific reason. I needed to keep my mind off things that were happening in my life and there just wasn't enough basketball talk ongoing to sustain my attention. I needed to talk. I needed to think of other things. I needed to escape a bit from what has been happening in my life.
And Celticblog provided that. Thanks.
You see there was this situation with my family that happened. I moved from RI back to my home town and into my grandmother's house 3 years ago because my grandmother needed care. She's now 97 and in a severe state of dementia, which, for those that don't know, is much like an advanced case of Alzheimer's Disease. My family is small. My grandmother had only two kids, my father and my uncle. My uncle is terminally ill and couldn't care for his mother. My father, being kind here, is a selfish man that had trouble raising my siblings and I, nevermind trying to care for his mother. My 2 brothers and sister have distanced themselves from the family because they wanted to escape my mom and so have also distanced themselves from having to take any responsibility for family events or happenings or needs.
My mom is seriously mentally ill and wasn't there for us and is also a very selfish person. Being around her at family events was like sitting around a time bomb just watching it and waiting for it to explode. Being around her at home meant worse things than that. And she HATES my grandmother. So when it came down to it there really was only one option in who had to take care of my grandmother. It was always her wish never to go to a nursing home and I wanted to at least give her that wish after she was so instrumental in raising me and making me the person I am today.
Well, Friday, she fell and broke her hip. She's 97, is incontinent, barely able to walk, doesn't know how to use utensils at the table anymore without instruction, has about a three second short term memory, has zero long term memory to the point that she doesn't even remember her brother's and sister's name or a 56 year marriage. Her quality of life is just awful and as undignified as one's life can get.
So the options were to not repair the broken hip, let her return home, bedridden for the rest of her life and make her comfortable while she dies over the next couple months or do major surgery on her hip, repairing it, with the prospect of her ever walking again being very small. The doctors at MGH recommended the surgery because they said it would improve her quality of life. What quality of life? She barely remembers who she is and is cognizant of only two people, my wife and I. She doesn't even remember having kids.
So those were the options and neither one was a good one.
Except, my father, who has her power of attorney and is the medical proxy, gets to make the decision because of paperwork done 20 years ago. She has a living will that states she doesn't want to receive medical attention for irreversible and/or terminal and/or incurrable disease or mental illness and although she respects life and doesn't want to be euthanised, she wouldn't object to medication that would make her ending more comfortable, even if that medication hastened the onset of death. She said in the living will she didn't want to be kept alive if there was no prospect in maintaining the dignity of life. She also has a DNI/DNR, Do Not Intubate/Do Not Resuscitate, order.
So although my uncle and I, the primary and only caregiver as I get help from exactly nobody in caring for her, recommended that perhaps it was time to let nature take it's course, send her home with a boatload of painkillers and care for her until the end, my father chose the MGH recommend surgery. He suspended the DNI/DNR for the surgery and after consulting with the doctors and a lawyer friend thought he was within his rights to give the okay for the surgery even though it violated the spirit of the living will. I'm appalled. My father is giving my grandmother more time to be a senile, empty, undignified shell of herself that can't even remember to hold her bladder or eat and has little propect of ever walking again while taking on none of the responsibilities of his decisions or considering how his decision will impact my family and I.
I guess I could have tried to get a court ordered injunction but she broke her hip on Friday afternoon, was told about the recommendations on Friday night and by Saturday morning, they were doing the surgery. I can't even discuss how hurt, disgusted, angry, and violated I feel not only for me but for my wife, kids and grandmother, who all will be effected by this decision made by someone that will refuse to shoulder any of the responsibility in caring for my grandmother.
So rather than drink myself useless since Saturday morning when the stuff hit the fan, I've tried to keep my mind occupied elsewhere. I went out and did some stuff but whenever I was home my mind returned to the predicament at hand. So, I thought.....Celticsblog. Let's go chat Celtics and basketball and sports. That's what I wanted. That's really what I needed. And although the basketball talk was kind of muted this weekend, the Current Events kept my mind occupied and forgetting what it needed to forget.
I can always count on Celticsblog and my friends here to put a smile on my face, to share an experience with, to debate and teach me, to give me something insightful to think about, to give me a spin on the news of the day, whether that is of the sporting variety or not, and to keep me entertained. I considered Friday night into Saturday night(7:00 to 7:00 ala 24 the TV series) to be one of the 5 worst days in my life and you guys and this site got me through it relatively unscathed and still in possession of my sanity and in control of my anger and other emotions. Thanks once again.
BTW, I will be returning to my moritorium on posting in the Current Events area as I can see that very little has changed for the good there.
Topic: Celticsblog,,,more than just a blogging site and thanks for being just that! (Read 7995 times)