TP Contest : Make me laugh

[JBone4eva]

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[the_Bird]

I'm just glad to have been under consideration.  Most of the people I've shown that cartoon to haven't gotten it!

Oh, and the video about David coming back from the dentist?  Much better version here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70r-Ca8wcVg

(language not safe for work)

[Casperian]

There are some hilarious clips in this thread, except for BigTicketīs, yours was just disturbing (Dont look at me???) 

 

I took a gamble that you were around college age... think maybe I was wrong! 

I am, and I`m not really disturbed (hence the smiley), but who screams "Don`t look at me" during Sex? I mean, I could understand "Make me a sandwich" or "Be quiet, the Celtics are on TV", but that was kinda strange.

no love for carlton dance

unbeleavable. 

Not funny.

Has to be, because whenever I dance like that in public, noone`s laughing.

I excluded jokes Iīve already heard before (hey, noone said this would be fair)

[86 Celtics]

let's keep this "fun" thread going...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-poZ0AOZAc

[86 Celtics]

Another classic...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI&feature=related

[JSD]

Good for a chuckle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqhUx_2YTN4

[Edgar]

World's Funniest Joke
Two hunters are in the woods, when one of them suddenly collapses. He wasn't breathing, and his eyes looked glazed. Thinking quickly, the other guy grabs his cell phone and calls for help.

He shouts at the emergency operator, "My friend is dead! What do I do!?"

"Calm down", the operator says, "I can help you. But first, we need to make sure he's dead."

The phone goes silent, for a second. Then the operator hears a gunshot.

"Ok", says the hunter, "what now?"

According to Richard Wiseman, of the University of Hertfordshire, that is the funniest joke ever told. How does he know? In 2002, he conducted a study to determine the funniest joke in the world, as well as the funniest jokes from several countries around the world.

For his experiment, called LaughLab, he created a website. People from all over the world were asked to submit their favorite jokes, and rate jokes that had been submitted by others. Out of more than ten thousand submitted jokes, the dead hunter joke appealed to the widest demographic. Personally, I find it sort of funny, but it's not my favorite joke. Then again, can you really argue with science?

So what is the second funniest joke ever told? According to Wiseman, it goes like this:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

After thinking for a moment, Watson replies:

“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

 

Jokes From Around The World
According to Wiseman's study, the funniest joke in America is about marriage: Two friends are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.”

Here is the funniest joke to come out of Canada. It pokes fun at American ingenuity:  When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians, on the other hand, used a pencil.

And in the UK, it was an ugly baby joke, that took the prize: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

[PaulPierce34G]

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Apparently, this kid has been in the news more than once.  This is a whole compilation of him and his antics.

[dark_lord]

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i would have thrown my paddle at him from across the table....and when he came in my face, kick him in the ping pong balls!

[CountChockula]

Hours of entertainment  .... http://www.thetyser.com/