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Author Topic: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris  (Read 6565 times)

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Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« on: January 14, 2009, 10:57:46 AM »

Offline Redz

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I'm feeling the need to make hyperbole of my childhood hero Jim Ed Rice.

Jim Rice's wrists were so strong he could cause a sonic boom on a check swing.

Jim Rice once hit for the cycle using nothing but his moustache

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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2009, 11:24:24 AM »

Offline Hoyo de Monterrey

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Jim Rice robbed home runs in left field at Fenway.

Jim Rice once hit a ball out of Yankee Stadium... When the Sox were playing at HOME.
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2009, 11:36:40 AM »

Offline bdm860

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Charmin once approaced Jim Rice about a partnership for a new speciality toilet paper: the Jim Rice Soft Wipe.
When a battered and bruised Charmin's CEO was asked what happened to the alleged product, he could only shake his head in dismay, as he found out the hard way

Jim Rice doesn't take crap from anyone!
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2009, 11:44:34 AM »

Offline Redz

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Jim  Rice never wore a cup, his brass parts could painlessly withstand any amount of impact.

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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2009, 11:46:25 AM »

Offline Bankshot

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I really hate to see Jim Rice's name in the same sentence as Chuck Norris.  Has anyone seen any of Norris' recent interviews the last few months?  This guy is insane!
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2009, 11:47:32 AM »

Offline Redz

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Quote from: Bankshot on January 14, 2009, 11:46:25 AM
I really hate to see Jim Rice's name in the same sentence as Chuck Norris.  Has anyone seen any of Norris' recent interviews the last few months?  This guy is insane!

We're talking the theoretical screen legend character guy (not the real life whacko!)

and speaking of real life...I rode on the same plane as Rice a few years back and was amazed at how small he was.  He's fit and all, but he's nowhere near the giant my childhood memory had made him out to be.  No roids!
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2009, 11:57:25 AM »

Offline BrickJames

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Meh the LeBrick ones that Shupac started are much more fulfilling than these...
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2009, 12:04:11 PM »

Offline moiso

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Nice lines, Redz, funny stuff!  And I saw rice in person in boston a few years ago, and I agree he seemed small.
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2009, 12:06:56 PM »

Offline Bankshot

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Quote from: Redz on January 14, 2009, 11:47:32 AM
Quote from: Bankshot on January 14, 2009, 11:46:25 AM
I really hate to see Jim Rice's name in the same sentence as Chuck Norris.  Has anyone seen any of Norris' recent interviews the last few months?  This guy is insane!

We're talking the theoretical screen legend character guy (not the real life whacko!)

and speaking of real life...I rode on the same plane as Rice a few years back and was amazed at how small he was.  He's fit and all, but he's nowhere near the giant my childhood memory had made him out to be.  No roids!

I always thought he was a big guy.  How tall do you think he is?
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2009, 12:35:05 PM »

Offline Redz

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Quote from: Bankshot on January 14, 2009, 12:06:56 PM
Quote from: Redz on January 14, 2009, 11:47:32 AM
Quote from: Bankshot on January 14, 2009, 11:46:25 AM
I really hate to see Jim Rice's name in the same sentence as Chuck Norris.  Has anyone seen any of Norris' recent interviews the last few months?  This guy is insane!

We're talking the theoretical screen legend character guy (not the real life whacko!)

and speaking of real life...I rode on the same plane as Rice a few years back and was amazed at how small he was.  He's fit and all, but he's nowhere near the giant my childhood memory had made him out to be.  No roids!

I always thought he was a big guy.  How tall do you think he is?

I'm 6 feet tall, and I don't think he was any taller than me.
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2009, 12:37:18 PM »

Offline Redz

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Quote from: BrickJames on January 14, 2009, 11:57:25 AM
Meh the LeBrick ones that Shupac started are much more fulfilling than these...

Yeh...it's a little redundant, but Jim's a little different for me.  He and, a little later, Larry were easily my biggest sports gods growing up.
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2009, 01:10:52 PM »

Offline bdm860

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And if we want to go with an identical nonsensical, cheesy flavor of Chuck Norris-like facts:

Jim Rice has homered from both sides of the plate, in the same at bat.
Jim Rice completed an unassited triple play, on the first batter of the game.
Jim Rice doesn't get put out, he just chooses to stop playing.
There are no players that have used steriods, just players who Jim Rice has breathed upon.
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2009, 01:17:16 PM »

Offline Redz

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Quote from: bdm860 on January 14, 2009, 01:10:52 PM
There are no players that have used steriods, just players who Jim Rice has breathed upon.

If Jim Rice took steroids he would have made Mark McGwire look like Jose Canseco
« Last Edit: January 14, 2009, 01:34:37 PM by Redz »
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2009, 01:54:03 PM »

Offline xmuscularghandix

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Quote from: bdm860 on January 14, 2009, 01:10:52 PM
Jim Rice completed an unassited triple play, on the first batter of the game.


TP 
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Re: Jim Ed Rice is Chuck Norris
« Reply #14 on: January 14, 2009, 01:54:48 PM »

Offline Hoyo de Monterrey

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Jim Rice hits 5-run homers.
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