Great inventions that need inventing

[nickagneta]

Here's a couple of ideas for inventions that need inventing desperately but are probably years away. Some for sports and some for everyday use.

The Radiovoice Button on Television Remotes - this button upon hitting it would immediately sync the picture of a sports game you are watching to the local radio feed so that if you get some god-awful national television announcers you can switch to listening to the radio feed while watching the game instead of those idiots who keep annoying me.

The "Oh [dang] You Better Not" Mirror - a mirror that people can look into after getting dressed that will honestly tell the person they better go back and change outfits. Honestly don't know how many times I saw a hefty woman wearing clothes she has no business wearing or guys that wear pants that are either way to big or small or short or tight.

Computer Replay Referees - get a computer program that monitors sports events through many different camera angles and then, based on a program written by that's sports rules, analyzes the game in real time and makes the proper call all the time instantly.

The Make Up Check Ignition Starter - this is a device that woman must look into before the car will allow her to start it. It will check her make up to make sure it is done properly and on so that she can't try to put it on while driving and cause an accident.

The Unbreakable Wooden Baseball Bat - I can't tell you how many times I see a guy swing and think he just destroyed the ball for a home run only to find out the head of the bat went further than the ball.

The "Don't Waste Your Time Meter" - a device that will scan the biorhythms of the opposite sex to check to see if you stand even a chance of landing a date or more. No more getting shut down before even getting started.

Kiss Your Employee's Ass Day - they have Secretary's Day right? Well how about a holiday where the boss has to by their employees presents and kiss their butt all day and tell them how important they are. Never mind, never work.

The Stop Right There Button - a button on your toilet that you can push if after flushing you notice the toilet is backed up and the water is rising quick. The toilet will automatically cease all activity and a vacuum pump on the other side of the clog will suck out the clog before allowing the toilet to commence.

The No Poop Diaper - diapers that have a chemical built into their lining that harmlessly turns baby poop into water that then gets absorbed into the diaper. That way no smell and no messy cleanups. You dads know you want this invented.

DVR Cell Phone Connector - a part of your cell phone that you can control your DVR from when out of the house and check the television guide and set the DVR from remote access anywhere. No more being out and missing the game. Just set the DVR while you're out shopping or stuck late at work.

That's just a few. What do you need invented?

[celticmaestro]

I'm glad I'm first to reply so I can be the first to call you a genius.

This deserves a TP.

The "Oh [dang] You Better Not" Mirror - a mirror that people can look into after getting dressed that will honestly tell the person they better go back and change outfits. Honestly don't know how many times I saw a hefty woman wearing clothes she has no business wearing or guys that wear pants that are either way to big or small or short or tight.

The Make Up Check Ignition Starter - this is a device that woman must look into before the car will allow her to start it. It will check her make up to make sure it is done properly and on so that she can't try to put it on while driving and cause an accident.

The Unbreakable Wooden Baseball Bat - I can't tell you how many times I see a guy swing and think he just destroyed the ball for a home run only to find out the head of the bat went further than the ball.

The "Don't Waste Your Time Meter" - a device that will scan the biorhythms of the opposite sex to check to see if you stand even a chance of landing a date or more. No more getting shut down before even getting started.

Kiss Your Employee's Ass Day - they have Secretary's Day right? Well how about a holiday where the boss has to by their employees presents and kiss their butt all day and tell them how important they are. Never mind, never work.

The No Poop Diaper - diapers that have a chemical built into their lining that harmlessly turns baby poop into water that then gets absorbed into the diaper. That way no smell and no messy cleanups. You dads know you want this invented.

DVR Cell Phone Connector - a part of your cell phone that you can control your DVR from when out of the house and check the television guide and set the DVR from remote access anywhere. No more being out and missing the game. Just set the DVR while you're out shopping or stuck late at work.

Those are my favorites, for various reasons.

[Redz]

Standing O Nick

Excellent list

[slamtheking]

My personal favorite:
Cell Phone in Car Jammer: Jams cell phone signals from working within a moving vehicle with the exception of calls to 911 or police/fire depts. 
This would prevent a lot of accidents and near misses that I see daily. 

I've heard a rumor that this already exists in Japan but I haven't seen anything confirming it.

One other:
Stupidy Check.  Works like Spell Check on electronic documents however it interprets the context of your writing to make sure you didn't put something into writing that will come back to bite you in the butt.

[Redz]

The Stop Right There Button - a button on your toilet that you can push if after flushing you notice the toilet is backed up and the water is rising quick. The toilet will automatically cease all activity and a vacuum pump on the other side of the clog will suck out the clog before allowing the toilet to commence.

Oh man, that'd be useful.  One of our toilets likes to rise up to the miniscus (25 years later and I've finally found a use for my 8th grade science vocab) on occasion before sucking back down.  It's extremely stressful.

I'd add an invention for some sort of "here's how I'd like it done" chip for bosses to install in employees heads.  It would save a whole lot of "why the hell did you do it that way" sort of things.  Of course we could just to the chase and go straight robots for everything.

[Redz]

One other:
Stupidy Check.  Works like Spell Check on electronic documents however it interprets the context of your writing to make sure you didn't put something into writing that will come back to bite you in the butt.

I'd never get to write anything

[JSD]

I'm still looking forward to Virtual Reality Basketball.

[celts55]

I have two. I hope no ones steals these and gets rich, but I'll take my chances.

1) a divise that automaticly pulls your pants out of your crouch in the car. Although it could be a desaster if it malfuctions.

2) the drunk call blocker. It would work like the thing that they install in cars that people who have DWI's have to blow into before the car will start. You have to blow into it before you can make a call so that I don't have to get that annoying drunken call from a friend or worst yet, wife/girlfriend. 

[StartOrien]

I've spent roughly one billion hours thinking about how much easier life would be if i had a teleport

[Donoghus]

Where the heck is the hoverboard and the flying cars?

[johnnyrondo]

I've spent roughly one billion hours thinking about how much easier life would be if i had a teleport

I don't think a teleport would save as much time as not spending a billion hours thinking about it

[Scott]

I have two. I hope no ones steals these and gets rich, but I'll take my chances.

1) a divise that automaticly pulls your pants out of your crouch in the car. Although it could be a desaster if it malfuctions.

2) the drunk call blocker. It would work like the thing that they install in cars that people who have DWI's have to blow into before the car will start. You have to blow into it before you can make a call so that I don't have to get that annoying drunken call from a friend or worst yet, wife/girlfriend. 

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it appears that you have been beat to the punch on number two.  According to this article LG is already working on it. 

That's right, cell phones with built-in Breathalyzers are set to hit the U.S. market. So after a night of too much to drink, you can pull out the device to see if you're fit to get behind the wheel.

South Korean manufacturer LG will introduce the LP4100 to the U.S. market sometime in the near future -- though no date is set. The company placed several models on the market in that country last year and already has sold more than 200,000 units.

The LP4100 also allows users to set up the phone so on certain nights and after a certain time they do not call certain people in their phone book. Think ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

If you have a blood alcohol level over .08, the phone will not let you dial that person. So it not only promotes sobriety, but chastity -- and probably your dignity, as well.

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=2125709

Never the less, creative thoughts so a TP is in order.

[celts55]

I have two. I hope no ones steals these and gets rich, but I'll take my chances.

1) a divise that automaticly pulls your pants out of your crouch in the car. Although it could be a desaster if it malfuctions.

2) the drunk call blocker. It would work like the thing that they install in cars that people who have DWI's have to blow into before the car will start. You have to blow into it before you can make a call so that I don't have to get that annoying drunken call from a friend or worst yet, wife/girlfriend. 

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it appears that you have been beat to the punch on number two.  According to this article LG is already working on it. 

That's right, cell phones with built-in Breathalyzers are set to hit the U.S. market. So after a night of too much to drink, you can pull out the device to see if you're fit to get behind the wheel.

South Korean manufacturer LG will introduce the LP4100 to the U.S. market sometime in the near future -- though no date is set. The company placed several models on the market in that country last year and already has sold more than 200,000 units.

The LP4100 also allows users to set up the phone so on certain nights and after a certain time they do not call certain people in their phone book. Think ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

If you have a blood alcohol level over .08, the phone will not let you dial that person. So it not only promotes sobriety, but chastity -- and probably your dignity, as well.

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=2125709

Never the less, creative thoughts so a TP is in order.

Dam. I loved that idea. I guess I'm smarter than I thought.

[Redz]

I have two. I hope no ones steals these and gets rich, but I'll take my chances.

1) a divise that automaticly pulls your pants out of your crouch in the car. Although it could be a desaster if it malfuctions.

2) the drunk call blocker. It would work like the thing that they install in cars that people who have DWI's have to blow into before the car will start. You have to blow into it before you can make a call so that I don't have to get that annoying drunken call from a friend or worst yet, wife/girlfriend. 

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it appears that you have been beat to the punch on number two.  According to this article LG is already working on it. 

That's right, cell phones with built-in Breathalyzers are set to hit the U.S. market. So after a night of too much to drink, you can pull out the device to see if you're fit to get behind the wheel.

South Korean manufacturer LG will introduce the LP4100 to the U.S. market sometime in the near future -- though no date is set. The company placed several models on the market in that country last year and already has sold more than 200,000 units.

The LP4100 also allows users to set up the phone so on certain nights and after a certain time they do not call certain people in their phone book. Think ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

If you have a blood alcohol level over .08, the phone will not let you dial that person. So it not only promotes sobriety, but chastity -- and probably your dignity, as well.

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=2125709

Never the less, creative thoughts so a TP is in order.

Dam. I loved that idea. I guess I'm smarter than I thought.

With minor tweaking this device can also be used to prove to your bartender that he/she has served you a weak drink.

[cdif911]

My personal favorite:
Cell Phone in Car Jammer: Jams cell phone signals from working within a moving vehicle with the exception of calls to 911 or police/fire depts. 
This would prevent a lot of accidents and near misses that I see daily. 

we need this in schools and colleges too! Kids use cells to cheat/text during class constantly, that'd be awesome to keep them from doing it - maybe we could make the phones catch fire too, if they were ued at innappropriate times