Help saltlover troll the Wizards

[saltlover]

Having bought a few tickets to Wizards-Celtics games this year as a DC-area resident, I received the following unsolicited e-mail from the Wizards:

Thank you for joining us during such an exciting season! We capped off our best year since 1979 with 49 regular season wins, our first Southeast Division title, and a thrilling Eastern Conference Semifinals run. 

I’d like to invite you to join the #DCFamily for the upcoming season. We are hosting a special event at Verizon Center on the evening of Thursday, June 22 during the NBA Draft. You’ll be able to place a $100 Partial Plan deposit to guarantee first access to our partial and mini-plans for next season, and an extremely limited number of outstanding DC 12 Club full season seat locations will also be available for the first time.

Verizon Center was an awesome place to be all season long, with a 30-11 regular season home record, and an undefeated 6-0 run at home during the playoffs. I’d love for you to be a part of it again!

Does anyone want to help me craft a snarky reply?

[fairweatherfan]

Off the top of my head, ask them which game they'll be raising the banner for Eastern Conference Semifinals Participant.

Maybe something asking for a good way to pass 51 draft picks' worth of time (they pick 52 bc they traded their 1st for Bogdanovich).

[saltlover]

Off the top of my head, ask them which game they'll be raising the banner for Eastern Conference Semifinals Participant.

Hah, they're totally raising that banner too. I don't think they'd even get the irony.  Their rafters are a monument to mediocrity.

[fairweatherfan]

Off the top of my head, ask them which game they'll be raising the banner for Eastern Conference Semifinals Participant.

Hah, they're totally raising that banner too. I don't think they'd even get the irony.  Their rafters are a monument to mediocrity.

They'll do one for division champs at minimum I'd bet.

[saltlover]

Maybe something asking for a good way to pass 51 draft picks' worth of time (they pick 52 bc they traded their 1st for Bogdanovich).

Yeah, I'm definitely going to note their lack of a 1st round pick.

[max215]

The last time they won a championship, xyz was happening in the world.

[footey]

The last time they won a championship, xyz was happening in the world.

Jimmy Carter was President.

[Phantom255x]

"Knockout Olynyk" >>>> John Wall

Don't @me or reply back

 

[Future Celtics Owner]

Off the top of my head, ask them which game they'll be raising the banner for Eastern Conference Semifinals Participant.

Hah, they're totally raising that banner too. I don't think they'd even get the irony.  Their rafters are a monument to mediocrity.

They'll do one for division champs at minimum I'd bet.

Write back glorifying the past seasons "achievements" and ask if they have concidered raising a banner to commemorate everything the #DCfamily witnessed?LOL. Write it like you actually mean it though.

[fairweatherfan]

"Knockout Olynyk" >>>> John Wall

Don't @me or reply back

 

Haha salt could ask who they're targeting as an Olynyk stopper at 52. 

[BitterJim]

Maybe something asking for a good way to pass 51 draft picks' worth of time (they pick 52 bc they traded their 1st for Bogdanovich).

Yeah, I'm definitely going to note their lack of a 1st round pick.

Combine that and the snarky banner question

"During which game will the '2017 Eastern Conference Semifinals Runner Up' banner be raised into the rafters? And will that be before or after the Wizards finally make a selection this draft?"

[saltlover]

Maybe something asking for a good way to pass 51 draft picks' worth of time (they pick 52 bc they traded their 1st for Bogdanovich).

Yeah, I'm definitely going to note their lack of a 1st round pick.

Combine that and the snarky banner question

"During which game will the '2017 Eastern Conference Semifinals Runner Up' banner be raised into the rafters? And will that be before or after the Wizards finally make a selection this draft?"

Haha, thanks.