In the spirit of crazy ideas with convaluted rationale, try this:
The day after the C's season ends, DA offers Perk straight up for Greg Oden. Gives them 24 hours to decide.
Salaries may miss by a hair -- easily rectifiable, but here's the rationale: Oden is potentially the biggest bust in NBA history. But upside still exists even though he's been nothing but heartbreak for Portland. Portland may just want this annual experiment to end. Portland gets an experienced defensive big who will work great alongside Aldridge, anchor the team's defense and provide intensity for a team ready to take a step toward contending. He does not have the offensive or rebounding potential of Oden, but he has the defensive ability now, and can actually stay on the court. Celtics take a risk of giving Perk away for nothing other than an injury waiting to happen -- but risk is mitigated by 2 factors; 1) Oden's upside is still strong and, 2) Oden's contract comes off in 2012 along with KG and Sheed -- clearing salaries almost completely for a rebuild.
I doubt Portland would bite, but who really knows if they'd be motivated to end their yearly headache. It'd be more than anyone got for Sam Bowie or Darko!